Juggling Life

Conversations I Would Rather Not Have Had

Social Butterfly: Why would they try someone as an adult when they're not an adult?

Me: If they try someone as a juvenile they can only keep them locked up until they're 25--even if they think they're still dangerous to society. If they think someone won't be ready to released by the time they're 25 they can only arrange that if they try them as an adult. They need to change the law to make another option between getting out at 25 and trying someone as an adult.

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SB: If she's sick and they get her help and she gets better, then how will she live with herself when she realizes what she has done?

Me:

In Which I Survive A Trip To The Mall

One night of heavy drinking and my blogging schedule has gone straight to hell. I wasn't thoughtful on Thursday and I'm not Flashing Back on Friday.  I guess such are the wages of sin.

So you know when you have a really bad hangover--there's usually about 2 hours late in the day when you feel like a functioning member of society before you go downhill again? I spent my 2 hours at the mall. One of my least favorite things to do evah.

That's Social Butterfly on the right. That dress was not that short a month ago when we bought it. I think maybe she is bamboo. Seriously, she's like 5'7 now which really irks my 5'3 & 3/4 self delights me. She used to be shorter than all her friends. Now, not so much.

We were successful in our quest for a Promotion Party outfit (not to be confused with the Promotion Ceremony dress). The Promotion Party is an extravaganza held at the Aztec Center at San Diego State University. This event features a D.J., bowling, pool tables, video games, prizes, food, drink, bussing and all of us parents dressed in coordinating outfits working our a**es off to ensure the kids have a great time. You should see what we come up with for Grad Night in high school. Homeschool, anyone?

 

We were in Forever 21 when my 2 hour time limit expired and the music and clothes and jewelry and perky young people became too much for me.

 

Is this so 2008 or what? Me taking a picture of them taking a picture of themselves. Right after this was taken my head exploded.

Because Inquiring Minds Want To Know . . .

I never cried. In fact I did not even finish the movie. Instead, I was a real, live public service announcement on the dangers of drinking. I'm sure I've managed to ensure Social Butterfly never consumes vodka (so that's one good thing to come out of last night).

The very spice Thai food I ate with Cheri combined with the acidity of the Pine-Orange-Banana juice to make me sick in a way I haven't experienced since I was about 21. It was truly  horrible. You know how when when you overimbibe there's usually a period of time where you were having a great time before the whole thing went south? I didn't really have that. I pretty much went straight to sick.

I pawned my carpool off this morning and have stayed in bed, drinking water, eating toast, taking ibuprofen and Immodium, and generally waiting to feel like a human being again. It better happen soon as I'm taking SB and friends to the mall to shop for promotion party clothes at 2:30. I hate the mall even when I'm in tip-top physical condition so I'm just a wee bit worried.

I will say that blogging while drunk seems to have worked out for me in a couple of ways. The general consensus seems to be that I was more amusing than usual. And since I didn't remember actually writing that post, opening my gmail jogged my memory.

For those of you that might be worried that I have a problem, let me assure you I rarely drink (a good thing I'm thinking). I went with vodka because I get terrible headaches from red and white wines and I didn't have any Champagne. Beer sounded too heavy.

Thanks for all the concern and kind wishes. I believe SB and I both learned a valuable lesson about the fragility of the aging digestive system last night!

Tears for Fears Part II

Who needs to pay for therapy when a shrink has you on her blogroll? PhD in Yogurtry approved my plan. BTW, read the post I linked to--and have your significant other read it too!

So I've reclaimed my laptop from MVP (the nerve of me--now he has to use either the desktop or the other laptop) and am ensconced in my bedroom. They can tear up the roast chicken I got for dinner themselves.

I have:

A large tumbler of Pine-Orange-Banana juice and Absolut Ruby Red (heavy on the Absolut).

A large bottle of Crystal Geyser with Lemon (to ensure proper hydration).

Terms of Endearment--the clear recommendation for guaranteed tear jerker. Thanks gals (and Stu and Mike)!

Camera--to capture tears should they appear.

The endorsement of Mr. Fix-it--he thinks I'm a little cuckoo, but that doesn't preclude him from being supportive. You've gotta love that in a man.

So, ta-ta for now. I shall report back later. If the rest of this post is grammatically incorrect you'll know I went for a second round of Absolut.

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Live Time Update:

Don't you hate it when you start the tub and push the plug down and then go downstairs to freshen your drink and attempt a conversation with your sullen son and then you come back upstairs to find you never did push the plug down?

Me too.

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Live Time Update:

If you check out at 6:00 a.m NO ONE will think it is their responsibility to put away the rest of the Kirdland 930 pack of toilet tissue.

Jeff Daniels--How the hell did he end up in "Dumb and Dumber?!"

If you've had 2 Pine-Orange-Bananas and Absoluts you are likely to spill a good portion of the third one while walking down the hallway.

OMFG! If Jack Nicholson looks like he does NOW, what hope is there for the rest of us?!

John Lithgow a love interest? And we bought it?!

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Random Thoughts

OMFG--I need  a professional to make me glasses that will both allow me to see the t.v and the laptob==biofocal?!

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Things I have in Common with Aurora Greenway;

I don't like convertibles (all that work for fab hair and I should just let it blow away?)

I'm a much better time with lowered inhibitions.

I want the best for my children.

I've still got it--even with a ------ few pounds, a few years, and a few (very few) grey haris.

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Things I don't have in common with Aurora Greenway:

I would NEVER wear a frou-frou dress.

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Things my mom and I have in common with Aurora Greenway and Emma:

We drove each other CRAZY!

One of us is dead.

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Things I have in common with Emma Greenway:

The croup

Wanting to kill my husband in the early years of my marriage.

Thai--on a 7 out of 10 scale, with Blog This Mom! not the best precursor to Pine-Orange_Banana with Absolout Grapefruit.

 

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Social Butterfly says my mom has left the building!

Tears for Fears

I'm not wordless this Wednesday and I have no pictures for you.

I didn't sleep well last night and I am definitely missing my trademark optimism. The tragedy I posted about yesterday has hit me so hard. Maybe I'll feel totally differently about things tomorrow, but right now I'm hanging on by a thread.

I was going through pictures a couple of weeks ago and found one of Danger Boy's sixth birthday party--the girl that killed her mother was in that picture as a smiling, bunny ear giving, cute little girl. Of course when I looked at the picture I just thought, "I wonder how she's up to." Then I picked up a different picture. Now that first picture is frozen in my mind in day-glo, indelible ink.

I lost my sister in January and a close friend last month and now this. I think what I really need is a good cry--something I haven't done. I cried a little in Costco on my son's 18th birthday when I realized that I'd been so focused on planning the memorial service for Thom that I hadn't baked MVP a cake (homemade birthday cakes are a pretty big thing to me). But I was in the bakery department at Costco and I am a WASP so it's entirely possible I was able to breakdown in such a way that it wasn't noticeable to anyone else.

Since I don't do anything spur of the moment, I think I'm going to need to schedule a cry this week. I'm pretty sure it needs to be that or I'm going to seriously go the stuffing your emotions with food route--I'm already perilously close to doing that.

I used to be able to cry over everything; these days? Nada. Did I waste all my tears on stupid things in my twenties? The tears over my husband being an hour late without a phone call were probably not necessary.  Know I need those tears for things like people dying and they are nowhere to be found. What's up with that?

What will it take I wonder? I've never watched Sophie's Choice and I hear that's a pretty sad movie. I think I might have to toss some inhibition loosening alcohol into the mix. So on my list of things to do this week are drink and cry. I think I want to do it alone, which would make it a daytime activity and that's a little odd. I'll have to think about it.

Does anyone else have any ideas on how to bring out a good cry in a highly controlled, pragmatic person? Or maybe I should be doing something else I haven't thought of. I'm open to anything. Advise me my blog friends! I'll be sure to report back--perhaps complete with a puffy-eyed, smeared mascara, runny nose photo if I'm successful and courageous.

I woke up this morning and opened the paper as usual.

There are no words for what I felt, when I read this news. 

Not all the facts in this newspaper article are correct, but the gist of the story is true.

My oldest daughter and the oldest daughter in the family played softball together when Danger Boy was born and when the girl that did this was adopted at 6 weeks old. She and Danger Boy were "recess friends" and sometimes classmates all through elementary school. The mom and I were friendly in that way you are with someone that you were close to for a small time, but don't see much of anymore. The catch up for 20 minutes at Vons once a year kind of friendly.

I know that there were problems with this little girl--wrong crowd, bad decision-making problems, but I'm sure nothing that could have predicted this.

The mother was a school counselor and a genuinely wonderful person. I'm sure this family was doing all that anyone could for their troubled daughter.

When they say "if it could happen here, it could happen anywhere," this must be what they're talking about. I am stunned.

I have had the greatest field practicum experience ever this past semester. FP is sort of a part-time student teaching. The program I'm in provides for 2 FP experiences before the student teaching semester.

This semester I had hoped for a placement in the Juvenile Court school, but the person in charge of that program left so I got my second choice, a Title I school that's about 99.9 % English Learner. I was placed in fifth-grade with a fantastic male teacher. I learned so much from him, and I fell in love with the students right away. Even though my official time at the school is over, I'm continuing to go once a week--I wanted to do Open House and be with them at Promotion as well as teach more art.

I am very lucky that my master teacher appreciated my art background and was more than happy to have me bring art into his classroom. I firmly believe that the lack of art in our schools is a counter-productive tragedy. I know there are many students who drop out of school that might make it through if they had something in school at which they could excel. Not everyone is wired for that to be math or language arts. It might be music or art or construction or mechanics; yet we've taken all these opportunities away.

 

I did this mosaic project with the kids recently. This piece was done by one of those students that is probably not going to make it (at least according to my  somewhat WASPY definition of making it). He's been expelled from one elementary school already. He's smart, he's obviously artistic, but the deck is just stacked against him. He's way too easily led and due to his socioeconomic status he's got too much unsupervised time on his hands.

This  project is probably the last time he's going to have a chance to tap into his artistic side, at least at school. Somehow I just have the feeling if there's going to be something to save this kid, it might be art and a connection with a great art teacher. Except I don't think he's going to get that. It's just not part of the back-to-basics, literacy heavy curriculum that his middle school runs--especially for a student with EL status.

Thinking about his probable future really just breaks my heart.

Yeah, sometimes it's just like that!

While watching American Idol:

Jenn: I think the guy with the dreds might have a future.

Mr. Fix-it: I'd buy a pizza from him.

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At the dinner table:

Social Butterfly (to me): So you're saying you think it's wrong.

MVP: She wrongly thinks a lot of things are wrong.

Danger Boy: And the gloves come off.

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In the car with 5 teenage girls:

C: I can't deal with this anymore. Just take my phone and text like you're me. I just can't be mean the way you are.

E: I can't be mean!

Everyone else (in unison): Yes you can!

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Also in the car with 5 teenage girls I learned that Social Butterfly is being text-stalked by someone that wants her to be his girlfriend. Her take? "He probably just went through his phone book and picked me that way." He calls her "baby."

Yes, I will monitor the situation.

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Overheard from the other room in a house with 5 teenage girls and 2 teenage boys hanging out in the kitchen:

. . . . Do you have anything salty to eat? . . .STD's . . . . You know if you have sex with someone that's like having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with . . . Oh look, Gummi Bears!

On the bright side, they're listening to the public service announcements. On the less-than-bright side . . . They're talking about sex!

Prom Circa 1982

Back in the dark ages aka 1980, I met my future husband. I was 16, he was 17, and the locale was an ice skating rink (yuhuh!). Believe it or not, I knew the instant I set eyes on him that we would get married. Before I even knew his name. So it didn't really bother me when he started dating my best friend--I just figured things would work themselves out in time. And they did. Because he was dating my best friend we spent a lot of time together and became good friends in our own right. Eventually they broke up, she moved away and he invited me to my senior prom (he'd graduated the year before). I said, "Hell yes!"

So I dressed up in finest Jessica McClintock, put my hair in an Alice in Wonderland style (I know, WTF?) and he put on a tux and gave me a corsage.

 

Seriously, how could you not love an 18 year old guy with that much confidence?!

As mentioned last week, MVP is taking his date to the same place we went for dinner, Tom Ham's Lighthouse. While MVP and his friends are going in a limo, we went in a rental Olds Cutlass Supreme. Along with two other couples we were going to go to Disneyland after the prom. (Yes, our parents approved this plan(???) and our friend's mom rented the car since obviously none of us were over 25). Before taking off for Disneyland we went, still in prom attire, to park at Torrey Pines State Beach and have a glass or two of the bubbly Diet Coke.

So we park (angled parking, right off the road, above the rock that acts as a surf break in high surf).  The guys were standing in front of the car opening another bottle of Champagne Diet Coke. See the little x? That's our car. See the not so straight arrow? That's the drunk driver that came speeding down the hill, lost control of his car, spun out, and smashed into us.

All I saw was lights in the rearview mirror, then I simultaneously felt the impact of the crash and watched the future Mr. Fix-it and friends disappear over the edge of the parking area. We didn't know if they'd been hit or if they jumped (they jumped) and the rear doors in the car wouldn't open. Can you say freakout?

Can I tell you how fun it is to wait for the cops to come when you're underage and have just had a Champagne  Diet Coke shower? Even if it is totally the other guy that was drunk?

We ended up at Denny's and then sleeping in the car while the guy whose mom rented the car suffered  repeated waves of nausea as he anticipated telling his mother about the wrecked rental car and the police report that listed him as the driver.

Roughly five years after the above picture was taken, this picture was taken.

 

                             Now we're the ones taking the pictures.

                              More prom pics in a couple of weeks.