A Must Read For . . . Everyone Who Has Or Works With Kids

I am an information junkie. Newspapers, magazines, books, on-line magazines--I read them all. I totally disavow all t.v news programming, but that's another post. I'm also a natural researcher. Give me a problem or dilemma and I'll get you twice the information that you needed. Did I mention that I totally pink puffy heart Google and IMDB?! Anyway . . .

Whenever I've had a problem or concern or area of interest related to child-rearing, I read a book. And, boy, have I read a lot of books. I can tell you how to deal with your Difficult Child, your Spirited Child, and how to Raise A Fine Young Man.  I know how to Revive Ophelia and all about Queen Bees and Wannabees as well as having read pretty much every book for parents or children on Tourette Syndrome. So when Jenn says this is one of THE BEST and MOST PRACTICAL AND HELPFUL parenting books she's ever read, you might want to listen.

I think most of the people I know in the blogosphere live in similar neighborhoods to mine, and we are the people Rosalind Wiseman is writing for. The parents with enough time and money to make our kids our number one priority--for good and for ill. And if I didn't love this book already I surely did on page 313 when she says (envision me in my sweltering bedroom reading this and mentally jumping up and down screaming "Yes!" because it was too hot to actually move), "Here's what I think stands the greater chance of ruining your child's future: never punishing him or her in a way that really hits home."

The subtitle on the book is actually a little misleading--Ms. Wiseman waits until the inside to point out that you might be the difficult parent in your child's life. She uses her pinpoint accuracy and easy-to-grasp sociological and psychological insights to describe various parenting styles that make you squirm a little with introspection.

It wasn't difficult to recognize myself in the description of the "Proud-to-be-a-pain Mom" and there's no doubt that Mr. Fix-it is an "Invisible Dad" (not as bad as it sounds: "They're good, well-meaning parents who try to attend all the school functions and never say a word . . . They can't identify with the other parents asking question after question . . .").

And she nailed it when she says of me and my compadres, "The truth is, Proud-to-be-a-Pain Mom enjoys her role as gladiator. And secretly, her kids often enjoy it, too. Someone's got to do the dirty work." Can I get an amen, sister?!

This book provides a practical guide to virtually every situation you might encounter as you raise your children in a conscientious and loving may. Your interactions with teachers, coaches, principals, other parents and your own children WILL be positively effected by having read this book.

She includes advice on birthday parties, sports, cliques (adults' and children's), partying, schooling choices, college applications and more.

I referenced this earlier, but it cannot be emphasized enough, Rosalind Wiseman not only works in our communities, she's raising children in one just like yours. Communities where everyone starts out with the best intentions, but where parents sometimes get lost along the way. Where competition is king and it's easy to lose sight of your values in the quest of wanting the best for your child.

If the copy I was reading was mine, I would be doing a giveaway. Alas, it's borrowed (I cannot wait for the book group discussion on this), so you're on your own. If you have read this book or you end up reading it, please let me know what you think. While this may sound like I'm getting paid or am a personal friend of Rosalind Wiseman's, neither is true. I do actually have a paid gig from MotherTalk on July 2nd, so if you're into book reviews please stop back then.

Comments

[Reluctant Blogger]

I don't tend to read "self help" type books. Not sure why. But I don't.

But I do agree with that quote regarding punishment. I think that despite our many differences, from what you say on your blog, you and I have very similar attitudes to parenting.

[Suzanne]

Amen Sista. I too have read many many books on parenting over the years. (raising/training dogs too, because I believe everyone should behave!)
I will look for this one in the library. Sounds great, and I think I have a good friend that could BENEFIT from this too.

[hen]

Sounds very interesting - there are some seriously pushy parents in Bath!

I tease my best friend that she is a 'Helicopter parent' - constantly hovering -

we say : "Whacka Whacka Whacka" (feeble imitation of a helicopter) ....and she knows to loosen her grip!

[Mary Alice]

That has actually been sitting in my Amazon wish list for awhile now. Perhaps I will get to it later this summer. Probably should be required reading for all school counselors in the making?

[Mama Zen]

I've heard that this is really good. I'll check it out!

[jenn]

i'm always looking for a good book and especially one on parenting and how to do it better. :) i will be stopping by the book store next time at the mall to get this book and will let you know what i think of it. :)

thanks for the referal on it. :)

hugs!

[LifeAsIKnowIt]

Thanks for the recommendation. I will look for this.
I especially like books on raising boys so if you have any good ones that you've read and want to recommend...?

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

You lost me at "introspection," but had me back at "paid gig."

Come on, Jenn, can't I just sit on the sidelines and judge the other mothers? Please?

And, really? You're getting paid for writing? I'm swooning. Now I love you for your blog, your excellent haircut, and your writer's pay!

[HRH]

Sounds like somthing that would be VERY useful...

[Heidi]

I felt like you were talking to ME. I am most definitely picking this one up. Can't wait for the ensuing discussion!

Heidi

[Kristen]

I always love a good book, I will check this out.
Love your header, by the way. Cute!

[CC]

Who me??!!

Thanks for the recommendation!

[Shelia]

I read all. the. time. so I love a good book recommendation. I'm not a mom, but I'm a teacher (going on 20 years), so I'll check it out.

Then I can "judge" the moms (LOL) like Cheri asked to do! (That was supposed to be funny. I'm too tired to know if it worked.)

[Shelia]

I read all. the. time. so I love a good book recommendation. I'm not a mom, but I'm a teacher (going on 20 years), so I'll check it out.

Then I can "judge" the moms (LOL) like Cheri asked to do! (That was supposed to be funny. I'm too tired to know if it worked.)

[Tina]

Amen, sister! From one Proud-to-be-a-Pain Mom to another one. But it's too late for me; my youngest is 19, so the damage is done. I'd have another kid to try again but...Oh, wait, no I wouldn't.

Fortunately my kids survived my parenting.

[Jennifer H]

Sounds interesting. I'm sure there's a mirror inside it somewhere that would show me my own reflection!

[Melissa]

Hmmm...I think I need to check this one out! It should be in circulation over in my neck of the woods, too!

[AlphaDogMa]

I'm a Proud-To-Be-A-Pain mom, too!

I read this book a few years ago, and LOVE it. It's less of a self-help book and more of a survival guide that will forever change the way you look at the PAC mummies and their dramas and power grabs.

[Mel @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy]

Amen! I will take your recommendation as I think it will help me next year with the She Who Shall Not Be Named we discussed last night. I'll let you know what I think of it.

And congrats!!!! on the paid gig. That's awesome!

[Mel @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy]

Amen! I will take your recommendation as I think it will help me next year with the She Who Shall Not Be Named we discussed last night. I'll let you know what I think of it.

And congrats!!!! on the paid gig. That's awesome!

[JCK]

I am definitely going to add it to my list. Thanks for the great referral.

And ....congrats on your paid critique!

[Just Jamie]

I'll be adding this to my collection. Thanks.

[Susan]

Ooooo...can I be on the panel of judges? That sounds like so much fun. (well, as long as I'm not the judged!)

I'll put this on my library list. I'm not so into parenting books as my kids are nearly "done" but it certainly couldn't hurt.

Congrats on the gig, btw and I LOVE your warm cozy home. :)

[magpie]

thanks - that sounds interesting and potentially useful.