We have made an annual pilgrimage to Mammoth Lakes, California for the last 13 years, 12 of them with our best family. In that time we've missed only two summers--one when Mr. Fix-it had just started a new job and couldn't get enough time off to make it worth going and the summer Thom was newly-diagnosed with cancer. This year was our second trip since Thom died 15 months ago.
Time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds, but it does make a new normal possible. We all know that Thom would love being remembered and having stories of the great times we all had in a place he loved so dearly. And remember him we did.
You know how almost all family vacations result in an inside joke or buzz-phrase that ends up becoming family lore? I still remember the summer of "Ichiro been bery, bery good to me!" Repeat ad nauseum while laughing hysterically and you'll get the picture.
One morning the little girls (we still call them that even though they're high school sophomores) were having trouble getting going. OMomK finally said to them, "Girls! Thom would want you to get out of bed." That was it. From that moment on we used Thom's memory to manipulate each other in endless fashion. "Thom would want you to pour me another drink." "Thom would want you to come to the pool." "Thom would want me to buy these sandals." "Thom would want to eat at Gomez's tonight." And Thom? Would want us to laugh and kayak and hike and drink and shop and play Ping-Pong and Rummy and Scattergories all the while thinking of him and what he meant to all of us.
Summer 2002 or 3--Our group
Our "missing man" photo from last summer.
This summer--there was only one day where all of us were present and doing the same thing--visiting and celebrating Thom at one of the places we scattered his ashes last year.
I know exactly what I'm going to do next summer.
Thom is obviously very present with you all in this place. And I'm glad to see that Music Man was able to come up and be with you.
Posted by: kcinnova | July 20, 2009 at 06:25 AM
That's what I call celebrating a life. What a wonderful new memory for you to give Thom's family and yours.
Posted by: Manic Mommy | July 20, 2009 at 07:59 AM
That is an awesome way to remember Thom. It has to be hard to walk through this part of the journey without him, but you guys showed him you are still walking!
Posted by: Lisa | July 20, 2009 at 09:35 AM
I love that you can remember Thom with so much laughter.
The missing man photo really gets me.
Posted by: Sweet Familiar | July 20, 2009 at 10:05 AM
Thom would definitely want you to all have fun!
Posted by: Suz | July 20, 2009 at 10:05 AM
It's a wonderful way to celebrate his life.
Posted by: Smalltown Mom | July 20, 2009 at 11:43 AM
I'm glad you're celebrating him that way.
Posted by: blognut | July 20, 2009 at 11:54 AM
Hope the trip was great. We used to have 4-H camp at the (now defunct) group campground at Horseshoe Lake, and our family spent a week or so at Sherwin Creek when we were younger. A lot of good memories from that neck of the woods.
Posted by: Gramps | July 20, 2009 at 11:55 AM
That is really awesome. Thom is surely looking down from heaven smiling!
Posted by: MissM | July 20, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Wow, the 'missing man' photo is stunningly beautiful.
So glad you guys enjoyed yourselves.
Posted by: stephanie (bad mom) | July 20, 2009 at 12:58 PM
Lots of great pictures. I love the 'missing man' photo.
Such a great way to celebrate the life of a lost one.
Posted by: K. | July 20, 2009 at 01:47 PM
How special. We too return to the same location with our "best family" end of summer vacation. We started when our other family's youngest was 6 months old, we measure our vacations in her growth (she's now 9!) I hope we never have a "missing man" unless it's because one of the kids has gone to college.
Posted by: wenderina | July 20, 2009 at 03:39 PM
That shadow picture is so cool. I'm glad you had fun--I'm certain from his vantage point, Thom didn't miss a thing!
Posted by: Green Girl in Wisconsin | July 20, 2009 at 06:22 PM
That is so great! I'm sure he was laughing right along with you.
Posted by: jenrantsraves | July 20, 2009 at 08:06 PM
I'm glad you guys still go every year, he's obviously still with you!
Posted by: Mom Taxi Julie | July 20, 2009 at 10:12 PM
Having just lost my uncle to cancer 2 months ago, my breath caught when I saw the missing man photo. And then the tears started to flow. What a great group you are; how lucky Thom was to have you, and how lucky you were to have Thom (and no, I don't know any of you in real life, but some things you just know).
Posted by: Dianne | July 22, 2009 at 02:43 PM
How wonderful to have memories to share and new memories to make!
Posted by: Fannie | July 28, 2009 at 09:47 AM