Many of you expressed surprise that Social Butterfly's program is so intense--6 days a week. I admit that when I first thought of a program, I was picturing a couple of nights a week for 4 hours a night. But this? Makes so much more sense. These kids cannot get better until they eat and the only way they'll eat is to be made to--by wonderful therapists and stalwart parents. And believe me, the stalwart parents are thankful to have the professionals to work with as a team. It wasn't always this way and if you want to read an excellent memoir from the pioneering days of Maudsley/Family Based Therapy treatment, pick up Brave Girl Eating by Harriet Brown.
Words I've heard used to describe Social Butterfly's first week in the program: Amazing, fantastic, excellent.
I agree with all of them.
I also agree with the lack of inclusion of "easy." There were some difficult meals, some fairly easy meals and then there was a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad meal. Things were thrown, curse words were spewed. But . . . food was also eaten. Yep, that goes in the win column.
I believe that Friday night was so bad because the ED senses it's losing and it is was fighting back like a cornered feral cat.
On Saturday, we both reset at family day. As I said to SB, "Can you believe we've only known these people one week?" We are all soliders fighting a similar enemy and we are bonded in fear, hope and feeding.
We went shopping after Program and I bought her a couple of skirts; she wants to refresh her wardrobe, but is reluctant to buy pants because growing out of them will be traumatic, but something she must do to get healthy. She looks stunning in the maxi skirts that are so popular now; she has one gray and navy striped one and I got her two new skirts, simple black, and a pleated peach crepe. They're perfect.
The best thing that happened this weekend is that Social Butterfly and Peanut went on a hike at a nearby state park. Peanut has been the most amazing friend a girl could have through all of this and now that SB is coming out of the social withdrawal that characterizes ED, I get to have her around the house again; SB and I have both missed her immensely.
Undoubtedly, we will face more bumps in the road before we get to the highway marked "recovered," but I don't doubt for a moment we will make it there.
Thank's so much to everyone for reading and commenting and the outpouring of support. It does help.
The daily doodle, SB's own art therapy.
One week down, and you're on your way! You are so lucky to have that program. It used to be that you weren't supposed to force them to eat, they had to come to that realization on their own (through therapy). But no one realized that you had to physically retrain the mind to accept food by making the person start eating. It's almost as if your own mind has turned against you, isn't it? Holding you hostage, as it were...
Posted by: suburbancorrespondent | March 12, 2012 at 10:24 AM
I'm glad she's starting to create new eating patterns and habits. I never would've thought of the shopping issue (growing out of a size=trauma). Your blog is so educational and enlightening. As a mother of two and a stepmom to 3, I truly appreciate you and SB opening my eyes to many things with regard to this issue.
Posted by: Michelle | March 12, 2012 at 11:28 AM
As with any recovery/rehabilitation, there are always some easy days and some hard days...a few steps forward and a few back. But it sounds like there has been good progress in only one week! Congratulations, SB! Glad to hear you're spending time with your loyal friend again.
Posted by: Arli | March 12, 2012 at 11:56 AM
Congratulations to both of you on making it successfully through the first week!
I really like the doodle --it reminds me of some doodles my own daughter has made, and I'm going to show her this one.
Posted by: Cassi Renee | March 12, 2012 at 12:02 PM
It sounds like a quiet time of healing--glad she's got the peace and space to do it well!
Posted by: Green Girl In Wisconsin | March 12, 2012 at 12:28 PM
Reading this makes my heart sing...she is getting there, and she WILL be where she needs to be. Minus the cussing part. :)
Love her doodles...reminds me of a certain someone I know too.
xo
Posted by: Busy Bee Suz | March 12, 2012 at 02:15 PM
I was thinking of you guys while I was working in the yard yesterday. Is she missing school? Doing independent study? Just curious with all the college stuff coming up (we went to visit one on Saturday).
Posted by: mom taxi julie | March 12, 2012 at 03:48 PM
I've recently been reading a book about eating nutrient dense foods called "Eat to Live". It's sold as a diet book which is unfortunate since it's really a nutrition and health book (but who wants to buy something as boring as that). It seems like looking for nutrient rich foods might be a good safe place to start --- something I'm sure they're already covering in your daughter's therapy. Just thought I'd mention that it was a good read. Glad to hear that the program is going so well. You are two strong ladies!
Posted by: Claudia from Idiot's Kitchen | March 12, 2012 at 06:04 PM
Hugs and prayers as you go through this journey!!
Posted by: CC | March 12, 2012 at 07:09 PM
You have the best perspective -- yes, there will be bumps, but SB is on the right track and she'll get to where she needs to. I'm wishing your fam you many more good days than painful days en route.
Posted by: lanes | March 12, 2012 at 08:08 PM
Six days a week makes perfect sense to me, and is definitely the way I would want it done. It must be nice to have a team of people all working towards the same goal. I am so glad that SB has such an awesome friend in Peanut.
I have to say that I find SB's "doodle" fascinating!
Posted by: Jenrantsraves | March 12, 2012 at 08:47 PM
A wonderful art doodle!
The shopping sounds like a good part of healing, in fact, as it deals with looking at what the body really is and should be.
Keep soldiering through those tough meals. Just remember to duck.
Posted by: Jocelyn | March 13, 2012 at 12:55 AM