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August 12, 2012

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falnfenix

"I allowed tears for blood, broken bones and heartache, but not much else and whining was seriously frowned upon; I must admit that I think knowing how to walk it off and cowboy up are valuable skills right up there with putting on one's big girl panties."

AMEN. please, clone yourself and insert a clone in every household with a high school or younger child. someone's gotta teach those kids these lessons...their parents sure as hell aren't doing it.

Brightside-Susan

I grew up that was and I raised my kids the same. Being independent is one of the most valuable things we can teach our kids. And fussing over every bump and scrape is not helpful to a kid, either.

I do, however, have a problem with the more physically violent sports and I am glad my kids didn't participate in them - even soccer was getting too rough for me in the upper divisions. I am a wimp when it comes to physical violence...

Jenrantsraves

I am a wimp, and probably couldn't watch my son play a rough sport. I try not to caution him to "be careful" too much, but I confess that after teaching preschool all those years and being constantly on guard for danger, it is a tough habit to break. I can remember a moment in vivid detail that I decided to encourage my future child to take risks though. I also realize how valuable mental toughness can be.

lanes

LOVE IT!

Christina

LOVE and also - yup, I parent the exact same way. Hadn't really thought about WHY - but you nailed it - as an only child and mostly single mom the entire time, it is independence and resourcefulness that I value & try to pass on to my sons. A lot of times my first response to a request for help from them is "First tell me what you would do if I wasn't here..." and then we go from there.

Cassi Renee

I agree. I think the best way to encourage independence is to make sure your child feels that you are a safe base (not a safety net). They can move out, explore, and come back to have their boo-boos kissed :-)

I do think it's sad when people think that pushing kids away is the way to make them independent. I believe in encouraging kids to take risks, but not shoving them into taking risks they don't feel ready for.

Karen (formerly kcinnova)

"Take it outside" has been said more times than I can count at my house. Along with the wrestling (one kid even did that as a school sport) and rough-housing, we have boxing gloves and fencing foils. I admit that I prefer lightsaber battles over fencing. Boys are boys!
Digging deeper, I can see where my desire for the kids to get along (we moved every 3-4 years and it's your brothers who move with you, not your best bud from school) probably came from my own brothers trying to cause serious harm to one another while growing up. When my brothers get together now, they can easily end up in significant disharmony that effects everyone around them. I look at my own kids and am happy to see teamwork and the enjoyment of being together.
We are most definitely shaped by our past!

Interesting about the Navy Seals, that was new to me! Makes perfect sense.

Busy Bee Suz

"When the kids rode bikes, skateboards, etc. I seldom asked them not to do something because it was dangerous, but I did make them wear helmets and I sat outside with my Vanity Fair magazine and my first aid kit so I could take care of their wounds without them coming inside and bleeding on my carpet."

This brought me to laughing tears!!!! AMEN!

Kids do need to toughen up...I'm not saying they need to all play rough sports, but toughen up when it comes to life in general.
Life is not easy...we all get bruised here and there. Whether it be physically or mentally.

Gill

Just found your wonderful blog through A Mom's Year. Love your style! I'm sick too... definitely sucks. Hope we're both feeling better fast!

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