Juggling Life

Have You Heard The One About The Mother-In-Law?

I have been married for a long time. It will be 21 years on August 1. I have a fairly "strong" personality. In a good way, of course. My mother-in-law has a rather "strong" personality. In a good way, of course. You know that whole saying about magnets and like repelling like? I don't either, but there should be one.

Anywhoo . . . My husband is the oldes of 5 kids and I was the first daughter-in-law. Therefore, I was the one inventing the proverbial wheel.  While the wheel rolls pretty smoothly now, 'twas not always so.

When we first married (and remember, I was almost a child bride) MIL was used to having all her kids around her on all holidays, Sunday dinner, pretty much any time she wanted all her kids around. Which was frequently. You see where this is going, right? My family was my Mom and my niece. Obviously I'm not going to ditch them on all holidays (nor would Mr. Fix-it have wanted me to). I thought the easy answer was to merge celebrations. Thanksgiving was the first major holiday after our wedding.

Since we all lived within 5 miles of each other and my mom had a fairly large house and I am a really good cook (this story leaves no room for false modesty) while MIL is what I call a "can and box cook," why not have everyone to my mom's house where I would cook? Genius, right?

Only, my MIL is all (to Mr. Fix-it) "No, I don't think so, it's traditional for me to cook Thanksgiving dinner." So then I'm all to Mr. Fix-it, "Maybe you should remind her she never had a DIL before." So he does, and she grudgingly agrees to come and she's super nice about it to me and asks what can she bring and I suggest a ham since there's going to be 15 people and their family loves ham and she say's sure and then she doesn't bring a ham but brings a store bought pie. We didn't do that again.

Anywhoo . . . Things continued in that passive-aggressive vein for some time until she and I had a major blow-up in which I told her I thought she was very selfish and inconsiderate and did not appreciate sly digs and guilt trips about our not being at her house at 8 a.m. on Christmas morning and not staying the whole day on Easter and yada, yada, yada.

It was uncomfortable, it was awful, and it was also the best thing I ever did as far as my relationship with my MIL goes. Why? Because it was honest. I was able to quit smiling outside while seething with resentment inside. My husband loves his mom utterly, but he was right behind me as I walked out the door that day. And while he was sad that he had to go visit her without me for a few months, he always said he understood my position and that I was right.

Eventually there was a funeral, we were both there, we let bygones be bygones (aaah, the healing power of weddings and funerals). From that day on, we pretty much "got" each other. She knew I couldn't be manipulated and I knew she was a strong woman who liked things her way, but knew when to call a truce and a draw.

Which brings us to the book review portion of this (lengthy) post.

I hooked up with Sally Shields through MotherTalk and she sent me a copy of her book to review. It's light and frothy and would make a fun shower gift (especially if the MIL wasn't at the shower and you read aloud from some of the rules).

But here's the thing. These rules would never have worked for me. I think that's because I'm not afraid of confrontation. Not everyone is like me though; there are plenty of people that are happier if they can find a non-confrontational way of dealing with people. If you have a friend like that that's getting married, this book would make a great gift. If you have a friend like me, it would also make a cute gift--just know that she'll read each rule and say, "I don't think so!"

My husband and I will be celebrating 21 years of wedded (mostly) bliss this August. My MIL and I will be celebrating approximately 18 years of a respectful and loving relationship among two women who have a lot of people they love deeply in common. Plus, she is a great lady to shop high-end purses and make-up with. Most importantly, you couldn't ask for a greater Nana--in the end isn't that the most important quality in a Mother-in-Law?

A Picture, a Winner, and a Couple of Awards

A Picture . . .

 

Why is this a Wordless Wednesday photo? Because paying 700 plus dollars for this outfit left me speechless!

A Winner . . .

The Winner (chosen by Random Integer Generator) of A Summer Affair is PhD in Yogurtry. She was number 2. What makes this funny is that she was number 1, but popped back to clarify something, so was also number 2. E-mail me your info and I'll get the book in the mail.

The Awards .  .  .

I bet Grandy at Functional Shmunctional thinks I forgot  about this, but no. I've just been waiting for the right day.

 

And the lovely Suz at Busy Bee gave me this award, which is sweeping through the blogosphere. The Arte & Pico award is fun because you can visit the orignial site for the backstory--of course it helps if you speak Spanish.

 

Thanks to these lovely bloggers for their kindness and encouragement. As per tradition, I am forwarding these awards.

For the first award I'm going to use the adjectives on the award to pick the recipients. I know .  . . how clever am I?!

Informative: PhD in Yogurtry  for this very informational post.

Humorous: My good friend and fellow mother-tyrant Suburban Correspondent, who makes me laugh (maniacally) every day.

Unique: Kalynne Pudner. I'm pretty sure having 9 kids and a PhD in Philosophy fits the bill for unique.

Edgy: Who else has Everybody Can Bite Me Fridays? It has to be Suzy at Hollywood: Where Hot Comes To Die.

Bold: I'd say living Next Door 2 My Ex (or your ex as the case may be) is pretty bold!

For the Arte y Pico award, I'm going with those whose art inspires and impresses me.

Janet at Fond of Snape for her photography.

Melanie at BeanPaste for her photography.

The Smitten Image for her photography. (I think I might have a thing for photography!).

ChattyCraftyCook for her amazing job on the Weekly Word Challenge.

Gary at Potter's Blog for his incredible pottery. I don't own any. Yet.

Ok Award Winners, go forth and spread the love!

MotherTalk Book Review: A Summer Affair And A Giveaway

If you've been coming around her awhile you know I love to read and I love to tell you about what I've been reading. Ever since I found out about MotherTalk from Jen at Get in the Car! I've been dying to do a review. Finally, they picked me! Whoot! And even though I got a free copy of the book and a $20.00 Amazon Gift Card I assure you I cannot be bought!

 

Onto the book . . . A Summer Affair by Elin Hilderbrand.

 

If it has the look of a quintessential summer read, that's because it is. Frothy, light, with pretty people who live in beautiful houses by the beach. In this case, the beach is the island of Nantucket and the pretty people include a artist whose craft is blowing glass and an independently wealthy man with a penchant for philanthropy. I  don't think I'd be giving too much away to tell you they have an affair.

 

Before I give you my take on the book, let me share my reading style with you. I like to read about 5-7 "real" books, then take a break with a "junk food" book. "Real books" include literature, non-fiction, and most memoir; "junk food" includes mysteries, beach reads and historical fiction. Your definitions may vary--some of what I consider literature might not be highbrow enough for you and some of my junk food might be literature to you, but this is my system and I've been using it for a loooong time.

 

I liked this book. I liked it for what it was--a junk food book, although it is well-written enough that it might constitute a real book for some people.

 

Being a SoCal girl, born and bred, I'm always fascinated with the beach culture of the East Coast--it's a whole different world than San Diego. Practically everyone is a transplant here, so the idea of family lineage and reputation is interesting to me. I've never been to Nantucket, Cape Cod, or Martha's Vineyard, but they're definitely on my list of places to go someday. I also like the whole summer versus year-rounder dynamic that gets play in this novel.

 

I also love it when I can learn something new from a book. The description and information surrounding the art of main character (Claire Crispin Danner) was one of the best things about the book. If you've ever watched a glass blower at a fair or amusement park and wondered how they do it, you'll love the descriptions of her hot shop and the details of how she creates her works of art. I'm definitely in the mood to go shopping for some glass art (there's a little boutique in Laguna Niguel I've been dying to go back to).

 

Given that I really don't understand how any mother could risk her children's happiness for the sake of an affair ( maybe I'm too happy, maybe the right guy has never come on to me, maybe I'm just super rules-oriented) I think Elin Hilderbrand does a  good job of explaining how Claire, a mother of four, ends up entangled in her affair.

 

If you like a beach/pool  read that's got some soap-operaish intrigue, explores the push-pull of the motherhood versus self-fulfillment that many women experience (I don't happen to be one of them, but I do get it), has some fantastic food descriptions (her sister-in-law is a caterer), and describes a fascinating art, you'll really enjoy this book.

 

Because I'm a nit-picker I have to point out that despite the cover art I don't think she was ever on the beach with anyone other than her son. My other nit-pick? One of the characters has a measles scar on  his nose. Given that this character was born in 1968 (I backtracked from the high school graduation date) and they started vaccinating against measles in 1963, I found the measles scars to be an unlikely possibility--now chicken pox I would have totally bought.

 

Thanks MotherTalk for the chance to review this book; I'd be happy to do another one any day!

 

Since I got the book for free, and this is a paid gig (my very first), it seems like it would be good karma to give my copy away. So comment. Although I think I'm going to say the winner has to be from North America--it's a hardcover and I don't want to blow my whole paycheck on postage!

A Must Read For . . . Everyone Who Has Or Works With Kids

I am an information junkie. Newspapers, magazines, books, on-line magazines--I read them all. I totally disavow all t.v news programming, but that's another post. I'm also a natural researcher. Give me a problem or dilemma and I'll get you twice the information that you needed. Did I mention that I totally pink puffy heart Google and IMDB?! Anyway . . .

Whenever I've had a problem or concern or area of interest related to child-rearing, I read a book. And, boy, have I read a lot of books. I can tell you how to deal with your Difficult Child, your Spirited Child, and how to Raise A Fine Young Man.  I know how to Revive Ophelia and all about Queen Bees and Wannabees as well as having read pretty much every book for parents or children on Tourette Syndrome. So when Jenn says this is one of THE BEST and MOST PRACTICAL AND HELPFUL parenting books she's ever read, you might want to listen.

I think most of the people I know in the blogosphere live in similar neighborhoods to mine, and we are the people Rosalind Wiseman is writing for. The parents with enough time and money to make our kids our number one priority--for good and for ill. And if I didn't love this book already I surely did on page 313 when she says (envision me in my sweltering bedroom reading this and mentally jumping up and down screaming "Yes!" because it was too hot to actually move), "Here's what I think stands the greater chance of ruining your child's future: never punishing him or her in a way that really hits home."

The subtitle on the book is actually a little misleading--Ms. Wiseman waits until the inside to point out that you might be the difficult parent in your child's life. She uses her pinpoint accuracy and easy-to-grasp sociological and psychological insights to describe various parenting styles that make you squirm a little with introspection.

It wasn't difficult to recognize myself in the description of the "Proud-to-be-a-pain Mom" and there's no doubt that Mr. Fix-it is an "Invisible Dad" (not as bad as it sounds: "They're good, well-meaning parents who try to attend all the school functions and never say a word . . . They can't identify with the other parents asking question after question . . .").

And she nailed it when she says of me and my compadres, "The truth is, Proud-to-be-a-Pain Mom enjoys her role as gladiator. And secretly, her kids often enjoy it, too. Someone's got to do the dirty work." Can I get an amen, sister?!

This book provides a practical guide to virtually every situation you might encounter as you raise your children in a conscientious and loving may. Your interactions with teachers, coaches, principals, other parents and your own children WILL be positively effected by having read this book.

She includes advice on birthday parties, sports, cliques (adults' and children's), partying, schooling choices, college applications and more.

I referenced this earlier, but it cannot be emphasized enough, Rosalind Wiseman not only works in our communities, she's raising children in one just like yours. Communities where everyone starts out with the best intentions, but where parents sometimes get lost along the way. Where competition is king and it's easy to lose sight of your values in the quest of wanting the best for your child.

If the copy I was reading was mine, I would be doing a giveaway. Alas, it's borrowed (I cannot wait for the book group discussion on this), so you're on your own. If you have read this book or you end up reading it, please let me know what you think. While this may sound like I'm getting paid or am a personal friend of Rosalind Wiseman's, neither is true. I do actually have a paid gig from MotherTalk on July 2nd, so if you're into book reviews please stop back then.

Blogging Sideways and A Giveaway

I have never been one to win anything. Of course I was never one to try and win anything either. I think I gave up after spending days by the radio with phone in hand to win backstage passes to a Leif Garrett concert (my eyes are burning from reviewing his Wikipedia entry to ensure the correct spelling of his name). Suffice it to say that was a looooooong time ago.

Right after I started blogging I entered a caption contest on While They Play and won an Amazon gift card. Woohoo! Since then it was the first stop on the fabulous cookbook tour from Diary of Domestic Hiss, a Starbucks card from The Mom Bomb and a signed copy of "Driving Sideways" from Hollywood: Where Hot Comes  To Die. I'm still waiting for the big win from The Pioneer Woman, but with the way my luck is going, I definitely have hope.

I won an autographed copy of Jess Riley's brand spanking-new debut novel, "Driving Sideways" by correctly guessing (okay, I had a hint) that Susan Sarandon is gutsy enough to sport hideous, orthopedic footwear on the red carpet.

Wouldn't it suck if I hated the book? I know I'd be embarrassed if Maria Shriver read my review of her book. Although Maria is the one that should be embarrassed. Thankfully, I loved Jess's book.

Chick-lit at its finest--smart, funny, irreverent and character-driven with lots of snappy dialogue. What I really loved was that it was chock-full of pop culture references that I totally got. Anyone that can make an NPR insider joke is totally my kind of writer. And, she references exploding heads! She's in the right crowd with that joke.

If you have ever made a road trip that encompasses the states of South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada and California (as I painfully remember doing--in a caravan with my in-laws, Dear God, what was I thinking) you will not be able to quit grinning as you read her descriptions of the people and places along the way.

Her main character, Leigh, is warm, wonderful, totally relatable and happens to have Polycistic Kidney Disease--so I got to learn a few things while I was laughing. Since I have an "in" with the author (she knows my real name and address!) I'm curious about how she got the idea for this book and what made her choose this particular disease. Hmmmm, maybe I should check out her blog! Or maybe she wants to comment here.

In the interests of maintaining my good karma and in the bloggy spirit of paying it forward, I'm giving away a copy of "Driving Sideways." Not MY copy--that's autographed by the author, but a copy nonetheless. So if you're interested, leave me a comment. I'll use a random number generator to pick a winner (unlike my last method of simply playing favorites). So comment--maybe you too can be a winner. I bet I could totally get a meet-and-greet set up with Leif Garrett too if you're interested!

I Think I'm More Together Than Maria Shriver

I had no idea what I was going to write for Thursday. I like to tackle a timely, culturally relevant topic, but I'm having a problem with that. Since I don't HAVE to think intellectually for school, my brain has decided to take a vacation. Oh I still have lots of thoughts; I just can't string them together in a coherent fashion. Maybe next week. This is the best I could do this week . . .

My book group is reading Maria Shriver's bestseller

It was billed as a quick read and, yeah. I read it on the mile walk home from her house.

My initial reaction to this book was that "OMFG, if her name was not Maria Shriver this thing would never have made it past the slush pile let alone be published." Seriously, it's pretty bad. The bulk of it is a poem she read at her nephew's graduation ceremony--and she is so not a poet. I'm a little embarrassed for her.

I actually admire many things about Maria Shriver--although I generally want to cook her some fattening food when I see her on t.v. I mostly enjoyed her interview with Oprah-- the mutual admiration society thing got to be a bit much though--"I like you so much! No, I like you so much!" The point is that I think she's a very good-hearted person who is doing her best in life.

But seriously people, perhaps I should be the one penning a bestseller full of advice for living a fulfilled life. This is from the book:

Just who did I want to be?

When I reflected on that question, I realized I'd been answering it wrong my whole life. I'd always answered it with my resume. But the true answer, I saw, is about my heart, my values, and my soul. Who I am, not what I am.

It took her 52 years to figure that out?! If I hadn't gotten that message by age 25 or so, I'd have spent a whole lot of time depressed. Since most of us won't achieve a fraction of the outward trappings of success that Maria has, we'd better be happy with who we are and not define ourselves by what we do.

The fact that this book is a bestseller really has me scratching my head. Are there that many people for whom this message is an eye-opener? If so, how sad. Has anyone else out there read this? I'd love to hear what you think. Am I just a curmudgeon who is happy with who she is? Thoughts?

Scenes from an Italian Dinner

 

Last Monday I wrote this post about the cookbook whose journey around the world was to begin in my kitchen (well, technically Hen's kitchen, but you know what I mean). I promised to cook on Saturday night and report back on Monday. I perused the cookbook and chose a menu. I invited a guest. I generated a shopping list. I failed to consult a weather report. It was close to 100 degrees here on Saturday.

We've established that deviating from the plan is not in my nature. So concessions were made. I would prep at my house (which has no air conditioning), but cook at my bff, Other Mother of my Kids or OMomK's house (which blessedly does have a.c.).

So here you have it . . . a recap of the most documented meal I've ever cooked!

First, from page 87, I prepared the Torta di cioccolato.

     Makeshift double boiler courtesy of one of my children breaking the middle section and never confessing.

  

Next, to make the Arancini de riso e ricotta (rice and cheese balls), page 358. 'Cause nothing says cooking in a heat wave like breading and frying something!

Giving the breadcrumbs a whirl  . . . the flour, egg, breadcrumb assembly line

The shaping, the frying, the finished product . . .

Prepping the main dish, Agnello con Olive (lamb with olive), page 387, which came especially recommended by Hen was next. I won't torture you with pictures of me (sweat dripping from my brow) chopping the lamb into bite size pieces. I did, however, chop up this beauty. Mr. Fix-it and MVP were stunned to discover that our local Vons has a gourmet olive bar when I sent them out for last minute supplies. "Who knew," they said? "We did," said Jenn and OMomK.

Then it was time for me to shower and take my cooking show on the road . . .

 

For the second time in a week, I am wishing for smell-o-vision--garlic, onions, red chile, lamb, olives, white wine . . . heavenly!

It just wouldn't be dinner (or hors'douevres or Friday or . . .) at OMomK's without a bottle (okay, usually 2) of this . . .

'

The finished product . . .

 

The verdict . .  . delicious! The lamb dish was a resounding success. The chocolate was to die for. We had some vanilla ice cream with it--next time we'll add raspberry sauce, too. The rice and cheese balls got mixed reviews. They were quite good, but not great. I might try them again with Gorgonzola instead of Mozzarella--they needed a stronger cheese taste to me. The dessert will henceforth be a standby of mine--how can something so easy taste so good? Butter, sugar and good quality dark chocolate I guess!

Mr. Fix-it, OMomK and I ate together, then MVP came by after work to scarf down every morsel we left behind. I think all the kids got to sample the dessert after returning from various and sundry activities that are more fun than eating dinner with your parents.

Now, as to where the book is going next. I could a) use a random number generator b) pick a name out of a hat c) write everyone's name on a big piece of paper and throw a dart at it or d) be completely arbitrary and pick BipolarLawyerCook.

I choose . . . D! As soon as I got the book from Hen, I thought of BLC. I love to read her descriptions of food and cooking. She's on the other side of the country, which furthers the book's journey nicely, she might come visit me and cook me something this summer, and really it's my party and I can cry if I want to blog and I can be arbitrary and capricious if I want to. Except, I'm usually not, so please don't think I'm a beyotch and a hater . . . it's just that my heart is telling me to send the book to BLC, so that's what I'm gonna do. Still, I love you all the same just in different ways!

This doesn't have anything to do with cooking or dinner or my capriciousness, but it is very pretty. In addition to being my best friend, and an amazing mom, surrogate mom, person, etc. OMomK can make these rebloom--I just toss mine and buy new ones.

Oh yeah, she beat me 3 games to 1. And I didn't even care . . . it must have been the Champagne!

Cool Book Meme

Deb at San Diego Momma tagged me with a very cool meme; a meme that speaks directly to my book-lovin' soul. Like Deb did, I'm going to give you some background on me and books first. 'Cause I am all about the back story!

I can't remember a time when I didn't love books. My first memories are of the Little Golden Books you could buy at the grocery store. My mom may have been a single mother on welfare who bought our clothes at the Goodwill, but she always seemed to be able to swing a book purchase.

When I was in elementary school I was a latchkey kid. The library was on the way home from school--I was allowed to be at home or at the library until my mom got home from work. I was usually at the library. I wasn't very good about writing my book reports in a timely manner--I was too busy reading books.

My mom used to punish my sister and I both by taking our books away. I used to hide books under the bathroom sink on housecleaning day so I could take extended breaks. Some of the best times I can remember as a family (mom, stepdad, sister, me) were when we all curled up on the (burnt orange) sectional in front of a roaring fire, absorbed in our own books. My stepsisters still tease me about my habit of reading in the car at night. I'd read by the light of the streetlights. It had a rhythm to it--bright, dim, lose the light completely for a second, bright, dim, lose the the light completely . . . Now I wonder why nobody gave me a flashlight!

When my mom died several years ago I didn't realize how depressed I was. She died on May 1 and after the initial flurry of activity I dove into my books. It wasn't until the kids went back to school after Labor Day that I realized that a 300-400 page a day book habit might actually be a sign of something deeper.

Like the rest of you I don't read as many books now that I blog. Combine that with the reading I do for school and my pleasure book reading is down to about 2-3 novels a month. But, I am never, ever without a book.

And now for the meme . . .

1. List three books you’ve always meant to read, but haven’t gotten around to reading.

2. Share the two books that changed your life.

3. Recommend the one book you’ve been talking about since the very first day you’ve read it.

1) Three books I've meant to read:

Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi: I just cannot get into it. It seems like it would be right up my alley, but no. I don't think I'm alone here--I believe my entire book group abandoned it.

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: I have tried valiantly. I believe I've made it about 1/3 of the way through the book. It should be a book I like, but again, no. I keep it around just so I can feel guilty every time I look at it.

Things Fill Apart by Chinua Achebe: I was so bored. I'm sure it is life-altering, but I'd have to be able to get through it first. Again, total guilt.

2) Two books that changed my life:

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck: I believe I first read this when I was 13. Why did this book change my life? It opened my eyes to the rest of the world in a very real way. It is so well-written and absorbing that it was a totally transformative experience.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (and it's all small stuff) by Richard Carlson: I am so totally not a self-help book person. I don't even know what moved me to read this book. I do know that the following changed my life. The author says to ask yourself "Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?" What a novel concept. Of course I would rather be right. And while I was being right I'd be happy to bludgeon anyone in the vicinity with my rightness. So I started practicing letting other people be right (even when they really weren't), and I became a much happier person.

3) The book I've been talking about since the very first day I read it:

The Time-Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger: This book just captivated me. I don't normally like anything that smacks of science-fiction, but this book intrigued me from the first page. I recommend it to everyone I talk books with. This falls into the category of a you either love it or you hate it book. You should definitely try it.

As always, If I tag you and you don't feel like playing my feelings won't be hurt. Because he's a brand-new find (and a friend of Bossy's) and I know he loves books, I'm tagging The Jason Show. Because a woman with as many books as she has in her house (and who displays them so artfully) will have some great responses, I'm tagging katydidnot. I'd love to hear some ideas from the other side of the pond, so my final tag is The Reluctant Blogger.

Sunday Funnies And Other Stuff

Yeah, it's a lot like that!

Plus, I've got bling . . .

 

Thanks to Tootsie at Vintage Thirty for recognizing the diva in me!

I'm going to pass this on to the bloggers I know who will really rock the tiara the way it's meant to be rocked.

Cheri, at Blog This Mom!, who may have to have Laura help her keep it adjusted seeing as how she's one-armed at the moment.

Stephanie at Bad Mom who could have used this tiara as part of her "welcome home the hubby ensemble."

Angie who always Keeps Believing, and keeps the rest of us believing too.

And finally, katydidnot whose ponytail will totally help keep this balanced on her head!

In other news, we have a winner . . . !

I decided to forgo the names in a hat and went the techie route instead. The winner of the book, "Beautiful Boy," is . . .

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

17

Timestamp: 2008-04-13 02:36:19 UTC

Which would mean, Angie, at Keep Believing. I hope this means it's her lucky day. Congrats, Angie--I'll get this in the mail to you post-haste.

In other, other news . . .

I was home alone, walking from the great room to the hallway, when I spied this out of the corner or my eye.

 

Apparently my  heart is just fine because I did NOT have a heart attack. I did however make a frantic phone call to Big Red to get home RIGHT NOW and deal with it. He was more than happy to do so. In fact he acquired an aquarium and went to Petco for a mouse to feed it. The snake's name is now Jim. It better stay in the cage.

Heartbreak and Hope

This morning (Sunday, April 6--I'll be posting this sometime later), I got to do one of my favorite things in the world. I slept in until 8:30, then woke up and started reading a book I got on Wednesday night. Thanks to a delivery of toast in bed from the lovely Social Butterfly, and the fact that teenagers really don't need you on a Sunday morning, I was able to stay in bed until 12:30 finishing my book. Sometimes it is a wonderful life.

The book was "beautiful boy" by David Sheff. It is "a father's journey through his son's addiction." I read the story that led to the book in the New York Times in 2005. When I heard that both David and his son Nic had books out, I was anxious to read them. The fact that I am on a serious memoir kick is an added bonus.

I found this story to be heartbreaking, raw, thoughtful, thought-provoking, and generally amazing; albeit in a way that is sometimes disheartening, depressing way, but ultimately hopeful. I think all of us can learn something from the lessons the Sheffs  learned the hard way.

David Sheff wrestles out loud with issues that all parents deal with, even if our kids don't turn to drugs. He is particularly eloquent when he reflects upon the role his divorce might have played in his son's turning to drugs.

I'll share a couple of the things he said that really resonated with me. "I am present, but I am absent. Parents can only be as happy as their unhappiest child, according to an old saw. I'm afraid it's true." Yes, it is definitely true.

This next passage makes me think I was on the right track with my Teens Will Be Teens? post. He's talking about how he wished he would forced his son into rehab when he was still under 18, which was when they (David, his wife, and Nic's mom) were thinking a lot of Nic's behavior was teen experimentation, "In addition, a period of forced abstinence during the formative teenage years is better than that same time spent on drugs. Forced treatment in a good program accomplishes at least one immediate goal: It keeps a child off drugs for the time he is in treatment. Since the less someone uses, the easier it is to stop, the longer he is in treatment the better."

I'll be reading Nic's memoir, "tweak" soon. In the meantime, I'd love to share this book with one of you. So (drumroll, please), I'll be doing my first giveaway--a gently used, less than week old, copy, of "beautiful boy." So leave me a comment, I'll toss your name into the proverbial hat, and pick a winner. How does Sunday sound? If you're interested, leave a comment.