Juggling Life

In Which I (Pretty Much) Overcome My Vanity

There are not too many "bad" pictures me floating around the world. Up until I started blogging and getting together with other bloggers (who all had cameras as big as mine--or bigger (Aaryn!), I pretty much had total creative control.

I always took and developed the pictures and went through them before anyone else saw them. With the advent of digital photography it got even easier--delete!

Last summer a friend took the picture below, without my knowledge and e-mailed it to me. It was taken at about 6:00 p.m.at La Jolla Shores. I'd been at the beach since 5:50 a.m. The occasion was a bonfire for the boys and girls water polo teams; I wanted to give the Brazilians a quintessential San Diego experience. I had arranged food and drinks and rides for a party of what ended up being about 50 people. It was a blast! I had such a great time watching the teenagers--especially the antics of the girls who were meeting the Brazilians for the first time.

But I digress. Back to the picture. When I opened the e-mail I was all "Aaack! My nose! My crows feet! I need to whiten my teeth! I'm not wearing any makeup!" I came this close to deleting the e-mail.

 

Then I ran into the woman that took the photo at Vons. She was so excited to have taken the photo. She went on and on about what a great mother-daughter shot it was. How happy I looked. How great a picture her daughters thought it was.

She was right, I was happy. I was throwing a fantastic party, my family was there, these kids from another country were having this phenomenal time because I was willing to put some effort into making sure they had this experience (have I ever mentioned how I'm so not a morning person and hello? 5:50 a.m.!). And I was ready to hit delete just because I'm vain.

So not only did I keep the picture, I'm posting it for all to see. Why? I suspect I'm not the only person out there that's editing their life's record so that only the pretty pictures remain. I'm beginning to think that might not be such a good idea. Thanks, Susan, for opening my eyes.

Wordy Wednesday And Things You Asked For . . .

It wouldn't be summer with a boy from Brazil.  You're welcome, SB. 

Minnesota Matron, Hen, and Green Girl from Wisconsin have all posted the contents of their fridge. Since I adore an Open House post, I'll play along.

See those 2 gallons of milk? There's 4 more behind them. The 1/2 gallon of O.J.? 3 more behind that. What does my fridge say about me? Perhaps it's saying "Girl, maybe you should get a cow and a couple of laying hens!"

Or perhaps it says, "You mean there's actually a family who runs through the Costco size on a weekly basis? I mean besides Kalynne's."

It definitely says that while I learned a lot from "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle," I haven't actually put it into play yet.

When I posted the picture I was very annoyed by the out of alignment photo buttons on the front of the freezer. As part of my personal, 12-step borderline OCD treatment I posted the picture anyway. Then I went and fixed them.

What does my freezer say? Most everything is in the outside freezer. This is basically a repository for  ice cream, bagels, and smoothie fixings.

Also, you may notice we have no ice maker. It's not that we couldn't afford the refrigerator/freezer that has one . . . it's that we searched high and low for one that didn't have one. You see, we had a very bad experience with a malfunctioning ice maker about 18 years ago. You've probably heard a similar story--vacation, loose fitting, floor replaced . . . Our insurance agent told us the ice maker is the most common cause of household flooding. You don't have to tell us twice!

Since more than one person has expressed interest, I give you . . .

Jenn's Multiple Orgasm Chocolate Chip Cake

1 package (18.25 oz.) yellow cake mix

1 package (3.4 oz.) instant vanilla pudding mix

1 cup milk

1 cup vegetable oil

4 eggs

1 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips

5 tablespoons grated German sweet chocolate, divided

2 tablespoons confectioner's sugar

In mixing bowl, combine cake and pudding mixes, milk, oil, and eggs. Beat on low speed until moistened. Beat on medium for 2 minutes. Stir in chocolate chips and 3 tablespoons grated chocolate. Pour into greased and floured 10 inch fluted tube (Bundt) pan.

Bake at 350 for 55-65 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to a wire rack to cool completely. Combine confectioner's sugar and remaining grated chocolate; sprinkle over cake.

Enjoy!

A Tale of Two Brothers

Once upon a time, when MVP was almost 3 years old, his parents had another baby. That baby was MVP's baby brother; he would come to be known as Danger Boy.

 

One was a redhead, the other a blonde, but they both had big blue eyes and a sense of adventure. Their parents realized pretty quickly that DB was not going to let MVP leave him behind just because DB was 3 years younger. So DB learned to walk, run, swim, ride a bike, and throw a ball pretty damn quick--he was going to keep up with his big brother no matter how many trips to Urgent Care it necessitated!

MVP was pretty gracious about the whole thing; frankly, he seemed to get a kick out of it. With MVP's blessing, DB beat the pants off the entire 5th grade in tetherball as a 2nd grader.

As they grew, they mixed it up once in a while, but they were still pretty good friends. Their mother's heart sang every time they played long toss across the wide backyard of the pie-shaped lot upon which their suburban house stood. You see, she had dreamed that very scene the day she first looked at that backyard. It was high on the list of reasons their parents bought that house.

 

They shared a love of weaponry of all sorts, dogs, reptiles, baseball, beating the stuffing out of each other, and first doting on, then later tormenting, their baby sister. Their parents thought it might be best if they played different sports so as not to encourage unhealthy competition. Their plan failed miserably; whatever one tried, the other one wanted to try also.

MVP had always been a good athlete. Then a teacher talked him into trying Water Polo. Suddenly, he was a great athlete. It was the sport for which he was built and he loved it. In due time, as these things often went, Danger Boy tried Water Polo also. What do you know, it was his sport also, although for different reasons then it was MVP's sport. MVP had the build and the bulk, DB had the heart and intensity. Neither one of them ever backed down.

So it was that during MVP's senior year and Danger Boy's freshman year of high school, they played Water Polo for the same high school team. MVP was captain of the varsity squad and, no surprise here, MVP. Danger Boy was captain of the freshman team and MVP. He also played on the JV squad and in all the varsity tournaments. He got to play on the CIF team which went to the second round, a big accomplishment for their high school, under his big brother's leadership.

For the whole year before MVP was to leave for college, they rode to school together, rode to practice together, went out to eat with their teammates together, watched game film together, and generally spent a lot more time together than a 14 year old and a 17 year old might be expected to.

Like the long toss in the backyard when they were 6 and 9, watching them play Water Polo together made their mother's heart sing. In fact, someday she may have to tell the story of Danger Boy passing the ball to MVP who scored the winning goal in a tournament. Picture included.

You Call It Spying; We Call It Parenting

 

Yeah, katydidnot might have a copyright infringement issue here!

Overheard

MVP opens his new graduation laptop that is resting on the couch:

MVP: What have we here? (Holds a popcorn kernel skin aloft for all to see; rotates it to catch the light). Who do we know that both eats popcorn all the time and is addicted to the computer?!

Me (looking shamefacedly at floor):

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While watching the last episode of Season 3 of Weeds.

Me: I'm beginning to think Nancy Botwin isn't a very good mother.

MVP: Ya' think?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Social Butterfly and I are driving along, listening to a Hip-Hop station. I decide it's time for a lesson in metaphor:

Me: Do you know why all these songs are always talking about lollipops?

SB: No.

Me: What do you do with a lollipop?

SB: You su . . . Oh. EWW!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This one is from my BFF (Other Mother of my Kids), OMomK. She is driving up the road to Lake Tahoe with her 13 and 18 year old daughters, Care Bear and Big Sis. OMomK is reminiscing about driving this road with their dad, her late husband, long before they were married.

OMomK: It was about 3 in the morning and we were on E.

Care Bear: Mom! That's so dangerous.

OMomK: Yeah. Your Dad used to be a little irresponsible about those things when he was young. He was always on E.

Care Bear: I can't believe you guys would do something like that.

OMomK: Well I was really nervous, but he was sure it would be fine.

Care Bear: I just can't believe you would be so irresponsible. You could have been killed!

OMomK: I don't really think we would have been killed.

Further discussion on this topic revealed two different conversations taking place. In one, OMomK was discussing driving a twisty mountain road in the middle of the night with the gas tank needle on E. In the other conversation Care Bear heard her mother confessing that she and her Dad had driven this same twisty mountain road in the middle of the night while high on Ecstasy. Aaah, the generation gap!

The New Sheriff In Town or, More Accurately, Visiting the Town with the Tough Sheriff

This is a post about how things are going with my BIL and nephew staying with us. But first you need to understand my parenting philosophy.

I  believe, very strongly, that children do best when they are raised in an environment that offers routine, stability, safety, and clear expectations. I think that some kids could be raised by wolves and turn out fine, but that most kids really need the aforementioned environment. I'm not saying there's not more than one way for that environment to look, I'm just saying I think it's what kids crave.

My nephew has never had that environment. My sister had Borderline Personality Disorder. Her mental illness was extreme. If you've ever had a parent or sibling with a mental illness, you know that everyone connected with them suffers. With my sister, everything was her way or the highway; she called all the shots in the parenting arena. My BIL really had no say. If you're baffled by how that could be it's because you've never had an up close experience with someone with BPD.

Danger Boy, and my nephew, Gangsta Boy, are eight days apart in age. The homes in which they were raised could not have been more diametrically opposed. My BIL and I are on the same page in that some reeducation of GB needs to take place. It just makes sense for me to take on the job as their life is in transition and this is my house.

What is my starting point? First off, he's genuinely a good kid. Beyond that? He's never, and I mean never, been asked to conform to societal  expectations.

One example? He doesn't eat unless it's processed crap. You  might assume that's hyperbole, but no. We've had a joking but really serious conversation about how Fruit Punch Monster Energy Drink does not qualify as a fruit. He's totally offended by anything not purchased from a store or fast food place. I am introducing the concept of regular meal times and real food. A couple of days ago I just said, "you can't leave the house until you eat." He ate a PB & J, an apple, and a glass of milk. WOOT!

He's failed at least two classes every year since elementary school and was slated to be retained in eighth grade, but then he moved. I let him choose which books from the summer reading list for the high school he was being forced to wanted to read. In addition to regular food he's now on a diet of 25 pages a day of "All Quiet on the Western Front."  Pop quizzes included. This should begin to develop the homework habit--necessary if you ever want to graduate from high school.

He's doing regular chores and recycling cans and bottles for walking around money. There's no more sleeping until three or four--he's up by noon. (If that doesn't sound like a big deal you haven't seen how some teenagers sleep). He realizes that two hour-long showers per day just ain't gonna happen.We're letting the sagging pants and XXL shirts slide for now. (Although suburban, White, wanna-be gangstas really rub me the wrong way).

So back to paragraph one and how it's going? Phenomenally well. Everybody is getting along great. Danger Boy's been gone at water polo camp since GB got here; I know two fifteen-year old boys wrestling around will change the climate a little. Still though, I'm very pleased (as is the previously somewhat skeptical Mr. Fix-it).

The best part. GB is proving my parenting theory. He actually seems pleased (behind the obligatory groaning) to abide by the new laws. He's happy, happier than I've ever seen him in his entire life (also not hyperbole). All of us, BIL, Mr. Fix-it, MVP, SB, and I, are very hopeful that right now is the beginning of a whole new life for GB. Wish us luck!

A Picture, a Winner, and a Couple of Awards

A Picture . . .

 

Why is this a Wordless Wednesday photo? Because paying 700 plus dollars for this outfit left me speechless!

A Winner . . .

The Winner (chosen by Random Integer Generator) of A Summer Affair is PhD in Yogurtry. She was number 2. What makes this funny is that she was number 1, but popped back to clarify something, so was also number 2. E-mail me your info and I'll get the book in the mail.

The Awards .  .  .

I bet Grandy at Functional Shmunctional thinks I forgot  about this, but no. I've just been waiting for the right day.

 

And the lovely Suz at Busy Bee gave me this award, which is sweeping through the blogosphere. The Arte & Pico award is fun because you can visit the orignial site for the backstory--of course it helps if you speak Spanish.

 

Thanks to these lovely bloggers for their kindness and encouragement. As per tradition, I am forwarding these awards.

For the first award I'm going to use the adjectives on the award to pick the recipients. I know .  . . how clever am I?!

Informative: PhD in Yogurtry  for this very informational post.

Humorous: My good friend and fellow mother-tyrant Suburban Correspondent, who makes me laugh (maniacally) every day.

Unique: Kalynne Pudner. I'm pretty sure having 9 kids and a PhD in Philosophy fits the bill for unique.

Edgy: Who else has Everybody Can Bite Me Fridays? It has to be Suzy at Hollywood: Where Hot Comes To Die.

Bold: I'd say living Next Door 2 My Ex (or your ex as the case may be) is pretty bold!

For the Arte y Pico award, I'm going with those whose art inspires and impresses me.

Janet at Fond of Snape for her photography.

Melanie at BeanPaste for her photography.

The Smitten Image for her photography. (I think I might have a thing for photography!).

ChattyCraftyCook for her amazing job on the Weekly Word Challenge.

Gary at Potter's Blog for his incredible pottery. I don't own any. Yet.

Ok Award Winners, go forth and spread the love!

Toddler Vs. Teenagers 3: Movie Smackdown

Watching a DVD with your toddler:

Obviously they get to pick the DVD. You're likely to end up with Bob the Builder or something animated with a princess. It will quite possibly be your 9,701st viewing. You don't want to start it too late--no one wants to spend the next day with a mother of a toddler toddler that hasn't had enough sleep. Best not to bring out the snacks--not if you like your couch clean. Do not try to pretend your watching while actually reading or blogging-they're toddlers, not idiots.

Watching a DVD with your teenager:

Realize that since they can now see X-rated movies if they desire there's not really any point in being a censor. Woohoo--it's now totally appropriate to send them to Blockbuster for all 3 discs of Season 3 of Weeds. Have a marathon viewing session in which you watch 15 episodes over 2 days, pausing only to send the teenager out for Mexican food (eaten on the couch). Finish the final episode at 2:00 a.m. Sunday night--what the heck, it's summer and you can both sleep as late as you want the next day.

VS 

The One In Which I Totally Saw It Coming

Danger Boy and Social Butterfly are 20 months apart in age. Because of their birthdays (in March and November respectively) they are only one grade apart.

This picture is from when they were 2 and 4. I remember looking at it and thinking that one day there was going to be a whole lot of teenage drama in my house.

That day has arrived. They're 13 and 15, 9th and 10th grade. So far it's not drama so much as it is "tension." Would it surprise you to find that both her friends and his friends like hanging out at our house? That there is much giggling and posturing involved?

The funniest kids are the ones who come from all girl or all boy families--they are fascinated and bewildered by the opposite sex. DB and SB have been seeing each others' friends in their p.j.'s for so long that it's old hat to them, but not so for some of their friends.

Some things haven't changed though--DB and SB are still driving each other (and me) crazy!

Overheard

I am repeating a conversation to MVP:

Me: And then she said "Not only do I have to take my very spoiled daughter Cindy to college, I have to move four horses and a groomsman."

MVP: What's a groomsman?

Me: He takes care of the horses.

MVP: Well then isn't he the one moving the horses? What's she complaining about? All she has to do is pay for it.

I must admit that I myself was having trouble mustering appropriate sympathy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Fix-it is watching TV and I'm writing my Open House post. With half an ear I can hear that there is a Levitra commercial on. I glance up at the t.v. to see a cuddling couple on screen. The male is in profile, gazing at his about-to-be-satisfied woman.

Mr. Fix-it: Looks like the Levitra worked on his nose.

Me: Bwahahahahha!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm laughing at something someone said:

MVP: Enough of the levity, wench!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Watching Law & Order SVU--Benson and Stabler have let a suspect leave the interrogation room, with terrible results.

Me: Why didn't they arrest her as she walked out of the room?

MVP: Now that wouldn't make for very good TV now would it?!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edited to solve a grammatical error involving a comma. Thanks Kalynne.