Juggling Life

More Meme: Seven Deadly Sins

Minnesota Matron tagged me for this. There's no way I'm going to be as funny as she is, but I'll give it a shot. Here's the deal:

The meme is sinful: "Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don't tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this meme, lie to me. Then tag 7 other folks (one for each sin) and hope they can lie."

Pride

What is your biggest contribution to the world?

I invented them. And don't let those b*tches Romy and Michelle tell you any different.

Envy

What do your coworkers have that you wish was yours?

A job (oh wait, I'm supposed to lie). Bon-bons, lots and lots of bon-bons.

Gluttony

What did you eat last night?

Not a thing? I just don't get hungry much.

Lust

What really lights your fire?

I love a man with soft hands, a high voice and a tight 'fro!

Anger

What is the last thing that really pissed you off?

I came home from a day at the spa and my teens had cleaned the house from top to bottom. Without my permission. Grrr.

Greed

Name something you hoard and keep from others.

The special tea that keeps my looking like I did when I was 20. You know . . . thin and beautiful.

Sloth

What is the laziest thing you ever did?

Did? Or do? I haven't cleaned my house since I bought it . . . which would be 1995.

This was so much fun I'm tagging anyone that wants it--be sure to let me know when you do it--I can't wait to see what you come up with!

The Mothering Meme

I am (or should be) getting ready to go on vacation this Sunday. It is our annual two-family trek to Mammoth--for 10 days this year. I like to make and freeze some casseroles and spaghetti sauce and the like to take with us--we do about half and half eating out and eating in. Two families is a little bit of a misnomer, too--we are a more-the-merrier crew so we have two tag-along girls, Music Man will try to squeeze in a visit and MVP's backpacking buddies will be there for a night, plus there's Bugs' boyfriend. I think I'm cooking for 13, but that's a low-ball estimate.

Anyway . . . what better time than to catch up on some Meme tags. This one was from Fannie at This Isn't What I Ordered. Stop by and say hi to her--and read her parenting hits and misses. There's some good stuff there.

Admit that ONE thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you’ve written it down, you are NO LONGER allowed to feel bad. It’s over with, it’s in the past. Remember, you’re a good mom!

Social Butterfly is strong-willed. Where strong-willed equals you can't budge her with a Mack truck when she digs in her heels. I am strong-willed. Where strong-willed equals you can't budge me with a Mack truck when I dig in my heels.

I remember this day very clearly, because it was Danger Boy's sixth birthday. I let him stay home from school and DB, SB and I had a great time all morning long--a lazy morning, game-playing--a really delightful time of the type that are all too rare once the kids are in school full-time. I think it was one o'clock when we needed to get dressed to get the older kids from school. Grandma was going to come over for dinner.

Now this is an aside, but very important to the story. My mother did not believe children should wear black. Ever. She felt strongly about it. I absorbed her position, but was okay with one garment being black, but not a whole outfit (I know . . . in hindsight this sounds pretty crazy).

SB went to get dressed and came out wearing her new, black Mary Kate and Ashley yoga pants and a black shirt. I told her to change either the pants or the top, but she couldn't wear all black. We went back and forth for some time, neither of us giving an inch (I know . . . in hindsight I was the adult). This is how our "discussion" ended. I took a pair of scissors out of the kitchen utility drawer and cut them off her flailing, tantruming body. I believe my parting words to her were, "We won't be fighting over those pants ever again."

Definitely not my finest parenting hour.

To remind yourself that you ARE a good mom, list SEVEN things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself of EVERY DAY that you rock!

Nobody makes my kids do something they don't want to do (except me and then only sometimes). I cannot think of a single instance of any of them bowing to peer pressure. This is not just me saying this--other people comment on it too.

They all have great senses of humor. Sarcastic and smart-alecky sometimes, but funny, really funny.

My children have empathy and compassion. They are the kids teachers pick to pair with the kid in the class with special needs or the one that just doesn't mesh with other kids.

I love doing outdoor stuff with them--the are adventurous and fearless and very fun to watch. Watching SB mountain bike down Mammoth mountain is the bomb.

They are team players--whether in sports (MVP, Danger Boy and Social Butterfly) or theater (Grownup Girl). Not a ball hog in the bunch.

They treat their father's and my birthdays and Christmas as just as important as theirs. They scheme over presents, pool money and buy excellent, thoughtful gifts. They do this for grandparents, too.

They can all cook and/or bake and they all know how to clean a toilet. Even though they wish they didn't have to do it, and they are not above delaying tactics, they do a good job when it comes down to it.

I'm tagging the following bloggers: imom, Bad Mom, Miss M (who may not get it for a while, what with her being ready to pop and all), Little Miss Sunshine State, Phd in Yogurtry and I Miss My Sanity. These ought to be good!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday and a Meme

                    First Date/Senior Prom 1982: The boutonniere survives.

Suz tagged me this meme about your spouse and I happened to have this photo.

1)Husbands Name: Mr. Fix-it (okay, that's only for the blog)

2)How long have you been married? 21 & 1/2 years (8/1/87)

3)How long did you date? 6 years

4)How old is he? 46

5)Who eats more sweets? He eats more ice cream; I eat more chocolate

6)Who is the better singer? Him, without a doubt. I'm so bad I'm not even allowed to pick up the microphone on Guitar Hero World Tour!

7)Who is smarter? I'd say we both have our areas of expertise.

8)Who does the laundry? I do now, but he's more than capable. He did all the laundry for the first few years after we were married (I hurt my back in a car accident and that was back in the laundry room days).

9)Who pays the bills? Him. I have number dyslexia so you really don't want me near the checkbook.

10)Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me.

11)Who mows the lawn? Him and he actually really enjoys it. I think it's the sense of completion.

12)Who cooks dinner? Me. Unless he wants his favorite childhood dish of Kraft mac-n-cheese mixed with a can of tuna and a can of peas. Then I leave the house until the odor dissapates.

13)Who drives? Him--he likes to drive and I like to read while he drives.

14)Who is the first to say they are wrong? I'd say that as the years have gone by we're both more likely to apologize and admit wrong-doing.

15)Who kissed who first? Definitely him, but I'd been waiting!

16)Who asked who out first? He did--but again, I'd been waiting.

17)Who wears the pants? Back to #7--we each have our areas of expertise.

No tagging, but feel free to play along!

Jenn's Post On Jen's Holiday Home Tour

Have any of the rest of y'all noticed there are a lot of Jen/Jenn/Jennifers in the blogosphere?

Jen on the Edge is graciously hosting this holiday event--and I've embraced it as a way for my kids to be able to remember how things used to be after I'm gone and my Christmas stuff is parceled out. I'm happily morbid (or morbidly happy) sometimes.

I know these are the best years of my life. The ones before I had kids were great and the ones when they are grown up will have a lot to offer, but, really, I'm pretty sure the family-raising years will prove to be the highlight of my life.

I think maybe my kids like it around here for the most part. At least I think that was supposed to be the message they were sending me.

 

Stockings hung by the chimney with care? Check. Though the fireplace itself could use some updating from it's 1973 glory days. It's on the list.

Have you ever noticed how the oldest child often has the hand-crafted stocking that took forever to make and then you never had time to do another one after the first kid was born, so theirs are all store bought? My kids have.

                    Grownup Girl's Stocking

I like the transformation of the house for this time of year, so I put a lot of my regular stuff away and it becomes all about the Christmas. I have all of my mom's Christmas decor also, so I take special joy in having it all on display.

My mother was not religious, but she did appreciate a lovely nativity scene. I must thank my mother-in-law for the lovely wall hanging and the Hummel figurines.

Giant Carolers prepare to stomp small village. As soon as the song is over.

I have been eating candy canes (not these same ones) from this sleigh since my mother bought it at the Sav-On on Lincoln Blvd in Venice Beach in 1967.

This is one of my favorite decorations in the holiday season. I gift wrap the door leading from the kitchen to the garage and hang all the cards we get. As it gets closer to the 25th more cards come in until you can barely see the paper. Christmas letters? I love them all, even the braggy ones. I really want to know how you're doing and what your kids are up to!

The tree, of course, is the centerpiece. Ours is artificial and has been for several years. We came very close (firefighters battling flames in our backyard close) to losing our house in the Cedar Fire. Six weeks later, when it came time to get a tree, I had an anxiety attack at the idea of knowingly bringing a fire hazard into my home. Irrational probably, but the feeling was real.

           I made this for my mom in Girl Scouts when I was 8.

For all of us, so much of what makes decorating for Christmas special is the memories attached to each ornament, or nutcracker, or candlestick as well as the memories of the wonderful meals eaten off the special plates with the best silver.

Maybe that's the point of Christmas culturally (versus the religious reason); to make us stop at least once a year and think about the memories we have and the ones we'd like to make. And to make us reconnect with one another and with our extended families--it's not always easy, but I've always found it to be worthwhile.

I'm really annoyed that I've got a duplicate photo in here--and in the same row--but, I'm going to take a deep breath and let it go since I already exited Mosaic Maker and I need to get in the shower or I'm going to be an odd sight at my neighbor's holiday brunch in bathrobe with bed head (and not the sexy kind).

Like Sand Through An Hourglass . . . These Are The Days Of My Life

The inimitable Mrs. G and I share a love for routine in our daily lives. My routine is like an invisible security blanket, keeping me and mine safe and happy.

As I set out to document my routine I realized I don't have so much a daily routine as a weekly one. Here's the agenda that keeps me sane and functioning.

Practically the first thing I do every morning is feed the 2 dogs and 2 cats. The snake? Not my job!

Monday: Up at 6. Shower, make-up hair, make lunches, check gmail, say bye to the high-schoolers--out the door at 7:15 to meet my carpool buddy at the park-and-ride for the 20 mile drive to Cal State San Marcos where I'm in the last year of my teacher credential/Liberal Studies degree program. I have class from 8:30-3:45.

Home about 4:30 to make a simple dinner (lots of quesadillas and spaghetti with oil and garlic lately) and do a little a lot of blogging. Asleep by 10 p.m.

Tuesday: Up at 6:30, make lunches, start laundry, say bye to high-schoolers. OMomK, my bff, comes by about 7:10; we watch the TiVoed Daily Show from the night before then set off on a 2  mile hilly walk to our swim club where we use the weight lifting machines and them walk home. Home about 9:00 for some blogging, more laundry, The View, shower, make-up, hair and off to work as a Pharmacy Tech from 12-9 (a job I've had for, yikes, 25 years). Happily devote my lunch hour to whatever recreational reading I have. Try to avoid checking the computer when I get home so I can be asleep by 10:30.

                                 CSUSM aka Stairmaster U.       

Wednesday: Same as Monday except classes last until 5. Pick up a pizza for dinner at the place by the park-and-ride. Danger Boy has water polo games and Social Butterfly coaches cheer, so it's just Mr. Fix-it and I until about 8. Definitely asleep by 10!

 

                                   Again with the laundry!

Thursday: Same morning routine as Tuesday but the workout includes a Pilates/strength training class so I'm not home until 10. After The View I head out for my weekly errands. Trader Joe's, Henry's, Costco, maybe Target. I get some cleaning in. I try to make a slightly nicer dinner on Thursdays since I'm home earlier. This is the night we watch Survivor and The Office (we TiVo Gray's Anatomy for Sunday night). Asleep by 10:30.

 

                     Other athletes throw balls; cheerleaders throw other athletes!

Friday: Same morning routine as T/Th, but I hit the books hard when I get home about 9. I don't shower until 3ish when I get ready to go to the high school football game to watch SB cheer.  After the game it's usually catching up on blogging until I sack out. Of course, more often than not, there is ferrying of teenagers to and from their active social lives.

Saturday: Most Saturdays in the fall will find Mr. Fix-it and I at a water polo tournament where we get to watch DB play his sport with heart and fire--which is all kinds of fun. Depending on my  homework load I may have books or my laptop with me. Saturday night is again with the ferrying of teens and maybe a movie from Blockbuster for the grown-ups.

                    You know there's a little of this in every day!

Sunday: No waking up early! Yay! There will be laundry and much homework, but usually Mr. Fix-it and I find the time to take in a movie in the afternoon (Body of Lies this weekend). Dinner is always hamburgers on the grill followed by The Amazing Race and Desperate Housewives and then straight to bed to start again next week.

Okay, it sounds a little boring when you write it down like this. I do manage to go to my book group, meet up with blog friends, maybe take a walk with Mr. Fix-it or have lunch with a friend. I get to go to Mime and Puppetry workshops, stay late at school to work on a science project and even cut the occasional class. If this didn't put you to sleep or you're new here and still interested, I've actually done an entire post on my laundry routine and how happy it makes me to take care of my family.

What makes this routine not so routine is a family that is always up for a laugh and can turn any situation into a chance to bond.

Open House: Brain Power Central

Manager Mom wanted to expand on Mrs. G's Heart of the House post with a look at where we do our thinking and working at home. We don't have a home office at our house--that's by design. Even though we have a big house, I still like to live like we did when we had a small house; everyone together as much as possible. That's why the kids don't have TV's in their bedrooms. With three laptops and a desktop, the great room is often one big office/social networking space.

My "thinking work" consists of schoolwork toward my teaching credential and blogging. Both activities require the computer. I've had a laptop for about 18 months and I honestly don't know how I lived without it. The laptop's portability means I have the choice of two places to work.

My preferred place is here, where I can be in the middle of the action.

When I need a little more quiet, I head upstairs.

A Note About The House Tour

There were comments made (yes, I'm talking to you Gary) that my house looks a bit too tidy. You know I'm all about the keeping it real--remember that one time I took a picture of my dining room table without polishing it first?Anyway, yes, the photos on the house tour do reflect the way my house looks 99% of the time. I admire some of you and your homey clutter. Really, I do. I have this allergy problem though. You know how some people break out in hives when exposed to cats? I break out in bitch when exposed to clutter. Sad, but true. I do allow my children to keep their rooms as they wish as long as the doors are kept closed, so my neuroses is somewhat controlled and you don't need to feel too sorry for my family.

Now keep reading for the real Saturday post!

Realtor Caravan: Mrs. G's Open House

Mrs. G has put out a call to her legions of loyal readers--share the heart of your house with me. What  a grand idea. In fact, most of my (Almost) Wordless Wednesdays have featured things I love in my house, many of them inherited from my mother.

I have always taken my job as a "homemaker" seriously, and I love the home I've created for my family. Everything has been done on a budget, and eclectic is definitely my decorating scheme. Of course it's a work in progress. It's definitely a labor of love.

We began our house search with a list of our priorities. I found a house that fulfilled everything on the list that was non-house related (cul-de-sac, canyon location, walking distance to swim club/grocery store, specific school we desired). The one thing that wasn't that great was the actual house. Ever the visionary, I realized the house is the only thing on the list you can change.

And change we did. Over the course of 2 major remodels we took an 1100 square foot house on pie-shaped cul-de-sac lot to 2600 square feet. It was easy-peasy. Actually, it was a nightmare that I've conveniently blocked. You know how childbirth wasn't that painful in retrospect? It's a lot like that.

 

                Now for the tour . . . Let's step into the foyer.

Like Mary Alice, this dresser is where I store my table linens. Also, thank you cards and art supplies.

 

              Can you tell I'm into displaying my family photos?

Formal living room what? How about we put a pool table in there instead? Did I mention that I love natural light. Window coverings why?

The kitchen/great room is truly my vision. If I'm in the kitchen, I'm still in the thick of things. I have the perfect work triangle.

Please, sit at the bar and have a glass of wine while I finish dinner.

Yes, it's a big couch. Then again, we are a large (in quantity, not necessarily bulk) family!

          Formal dining room, why? Let's just eat in the great room!

    Separate office/computer room? No, then we wouldn't be together!

Spend a fortune on bookcases? Not after I found these on clearance for $10.00 each. Yeah, baby--10 bucks apiece! On my wish list? New wooden frames for all my photos, adding more, and rehanging them. What's stopping me? A little thing called sending 3 more kids to college in the next 4 years, starting NOW.

To me a house just wouldn't be a home without an animal or two (or four or five if you want to include the cats and the snake).

                       Controlled chaos--the "staging area."

                                               Back hallway

                                     Area rug/floor sampler

Thanks for stopping by. I can't wait to see your place! Thanks again to Mrs. G for hosting, isn't she the best?

A Must Read For . . . Everyone Who Has Or Works With Kids

I am an information junkie. Newspapers, magazines, books, on-line magazines--I read them all. I totally disavow all t.v news programming, but that's another post. I'm also a natural researcher. Give me a problem or dilemma and I'll get you twice the information that you needed. Did I mention that I totally pink puffy heart Google and IMDB?! Anyway . . .

Whenever I've had a problem or concern or area of interest related to child-rearing, I read a book. And, boy, have I read a lot of books. I can tell you how to deal with your Difficult Child, your Spirited Child, and how to Raise A Fine Young Man.  I know how to Revive Ophelia and all about Queen Bees and Wannabees as well as having read pretty much every book for parents or children on Tourette Syndrome. So when Jenn says this is one of THE BEST and MOST PRACTICAL AND HELPFUL parenting books she's ever read, you might want to listen.

I think most of the people I know in the blogosphere live in similar neighborhoods to mine, and we are the people Rosalind Wiseman is writing for. The parents with enough time and money to make our kids our number one priority--for good and for ill. And if I didn't love this book already I surely did on page 313 when she says (envision me in my sweltering bedroom reading this and mentally jumping up and down screaming "Yes!" because it was too hot to actually move), "Here's what I think stands the greater chance of ruining your child's future: never punishing him or her in a way that really hits home."

The subtitle on the book is actually a little misleading--Ms. Wiseman waits until the inside to point out that you might be the difficult parent in your child's life. She uses her pinpoint accuracy and easy-to-grasp sociological and psychological insights to describe various parenting styles that make you squirm a little with introspection.

It wasn't difficult to recognize myself in the description of the "Proud-to-be-a-pain Mom" and there's no doubt that Mr. Fix-it is an "Invisible Dad" (not as bad as it sounds: "They're good, well-meaning parents who try to attend all the school functions and never say a word . . . They can't identify with the other parents asking question after question . . .").

And she nailed it when she says of me and my compadres, "The truth is, Proud-to-be-a-Pain Mom enjoys her role as gladiator. And secretly, her kids often enjoy it, too. Someone's got to do the dirty work." Can I get an amen, sister?!

This book provides a practical guide to virtually every situation you might encounter as you raise your children in a conscientious and loving may. Your interactions with teachers, coaches, principals, other parents and your own children WILL be positively effected by having read this book.

She includes advice on birthday parties, sports, cliques (adults' and children's), partying, schooling choices, college applications and more.

I referenced this earlier, but it cannot be emphasized enough, Rosalind Wiseman not only works in our communities, she's raising children in one just like yours. Communities where everyone starts out with the best intentions, but where parents sometimes get lost along the way. Where competition is king and it's easy to lose sight of your values in the quest of wanting the best for your child.

If the copy I was reading was mine, I would be doing a giveaway. Alas, it's borrowed (I cannot wait for the book group discussion on this), so you're on your own. If you have read this book or you end up reading it, please let me know what you think. While this may sound like I'm getting paid or am a personal friend of Rosalind Wiseman's, neither is true. I do actually have a paid gig from MotherTalk on July 2nd, so if you're into book reviews please stop back then.

Mosaic Meme

Jennifer H. at Thursday Drive told me to do this, so I did. (There was the fact that I loved hers, too). We even ended up with a matching picture--It's that whole every other girl in a 15 year time span being named Jennifer thing! Can you guess what my favorite color is?

1. ~Ocean Playground~, 2. Mid-Week Treat #5, 3. MMHS., 4. Cobalt-blue ocean, 5. 4978-John Cusack, 6. Dom Perignon, 7. extraordinary symbols, 8. fondue, 9. Excelsior, 10. Latest Family Portrait, 11. Gliding George, 12. juggling life

Here’s how it works . . .

• Answer each of the questions below.
• Surf over to Flickr (set up an account if you don’t have one–it’s quick and easy) and type your answers (one at a time) into the search bar.
• From the choice of pictures shown only on the front page, click on the one that moves you.
• Once the page with your picture opens, copy the URL.
• Surf over to the Mosaic Maker, set up your mosaic, and paste your URLs.
• Click “Create!”

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. Where would you go on your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. Choose one word to describe you?
12. Your Flickr name? (I had to substitute for this one, since Flickr didn’t recognize my account name).