Juggling Life

To Answer your Question . . .

Mrs. G. asked, in of her question posts, about if/when you’ve ever feared for your life. I felt my answer deserved its own post. Here it is.

Our home was a one-bedroom duplex in the sketchiest section of Venice Beach, California. This was in 1968 or 69, and the difference between Venice now and Venice then was like Times Square today and in the seventies. That is to say, not Disneyland.

Outside was peeling stucco, cracked pavement and grass that was at once dying and overgrown (I plagiarized the last half of that sentence from a book, I’m reading; review coming soon).  It was homeless men; we called them winos. It was not a place my single mother planned on staying very long, but when you’re on welfare, with your kids in Head Start while you take secretarial classes, it’s what you can afford.

Inside were an Indian bedspread, a few throw pillows, and lots of Mexican pottery. The furniture, like our clothes, came from Goodwill. It was sparse, but homey and always clean.  My sister and I were asleep in our bunk bed, while my mom slumbered in her bed next to ours the night it happened.

I woke to the sound of pounding and the sight of my mother, with a butcher knife in one hand and the telephone in the other. My sister and I ran to her and, with the third hand that mothers seem to acquire when the need arises, she held us tight and smoothed our hair to comfort us.

“I don’t KNOW who it is. There are two men—they’re trying to break down the door. You need to get here NOW. I have two little girls!”

She was on the phone with a police dispatcher, screaming, pleading for help. We could see the shadow of one of the men as he rattled the window. My sister and I sobbed hysterically.

As the minutes—agonizingly long, a lifetime in each one--ticked by, my mother’s fear turned to rage as the police still did not arrive.

“If I was calling from F***KING Beverly Hills the police would be here by now! If anything happens to us, the Los Angeles Police Department is to blame. I cannot believe this!”

The men gave up before the police got there. It took them twenty minutes. The police were very apologetic to the beautiful white woman with the blonde, blue-eyed daughters. We weren’t what they were expecting.

Turnabout is Fair Play

I was watching The View the other day (I TiVo it and just watch Hot Topics) and Elisabeth Hasselback was up in arms because President Obama had suggested, at the National Prayer Breakfast, that Jesus would support raising taxes on the rich.

Elisabeth was FLABBERGASTED and OUTRAGED that the President would DARE to bring religion into the political realm.

This was the part where I stood in front of the TV in my bedroom, hairbrush in hand, screaming "Are you f****ing KIDDING me?!"

Luckily, I can always count on Joy Behar to be just as outraged as I am. She did not disappoint. For years I have been wondering when the Democrats were going to wise up and quit letting the Republicans have the corner on the God/Jesus angle. In addition, I pretty much agree with him. "For me as a Christian, it also coincides with Jesus's teaching that for unto whom much is given, much shall be required," Obama said, quoting the Gospel of Luke.

If the above didn't have me riled enough, I was listening to NPR the morning after Rick Santorum won all the "beauty pageants" and other primary contests and they played the snippet where he promised that if elected he would "return your freedom to you."

This time I was alone in my car when I screamed "Are you f***ing kidding me?!

Why is it that his idea of freedom is predicated on denying freedoms to others? How does being anti-gay marriage and anti-choice promote freedom? It seems to me (and granted I am using logic and reason in my thought process, so that might be the problem) that the aforementioned are antithetical to freedom.

It's going to be a looooong election year, methinks.

 

In Honor of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals . . .

This is the gluten-free cake Social Butterfly made for a friend's birthday--but it would be perfect to celebrate the decision to rule Proposition 8 unconstitutional. It would be even better if the cake was heart-shaped!

What IS Hard?

Like many liberal Democrats I can't tear my eyes away from the Republican nominating race. As much as I would have loved to see Newt be the nominee, it would appear that cooler heads have prevailed and the non-certifiably crazy Mitt Romney will prevail. Why the Republicans chose to pay no-nevermind to the reasonable Jon Huntsman, I do not know.

Back to Mitt . . .

What absolutely drives me nuts about him is that I think he is 100% disconnected from any sort of awareness or knowledge of how many people make their way through their lives.

The "safety net" comment sent me over the edge. I will tell you that the single mom in my class (whose husband left her and their two kids and isn't paying child support) and is having to take loans to finance her education because she doesn't qualify for grants is not feeling the safety net. Neither is the student whose wife's cervical cancer was just diagnosed because she hasn't had a pap smear in the three years since her husband lost his job and insurance. As another student pointed out, "the very fact that we need a safety net shows that we're walking a high wire."

The other thing (besides the above and the dog on the car roof) that chaps my hide is how he goes on and on about how he knows how to work hard. Bullshit. He knows how to work hard at easy work. That is a totally different thing from working hard at hard work. I feel absolutely justified in saying that because it's true of me as well--and probably some of you, too.

The type of work that upper-middle class, or even middle-class, people do and the hours we invest in that work pale in comparison to what so many struggling Americans go through.

My student that gets up at 4 a.m. to use public transportation that gets her to class at 8 am. and then she stays at school until 4 (class is over at 1) because that's the only way she can have computer access and then turns around and spends another 3 hours getting home to her unheated trailer--while getting top grades--that's hard. By the way, she is 50 years old and her old career was as a pilot. She would readily admit that what she thought was hard in her former life wasn't that hard in retrospect.

I'm not going to apologize for the life I have, but I'm also not going to pretend it's HARD work. I believe that is because I have empathy and I can use that empathy and my imagination to gain an idea of what other's lives are like.

I don't want or expect Mitt Romney to apologize for his life, and there are things he's done that are accomplishments of which he can be proud, but working HARD? I don't think so. And I think it would show some empathy if he was aware of that reality.

 

 

 

 

Cute Hair: What does it really mean?

I've been thinking deep thoughts about aging, looks, women and consumerism. Maybe that's what happens when you hit 47 +3/4 years old. Not bad thoughts, just (possibly) profound ones, pondering a variety of related topics. And what's a blog for if you can't share your deep thoughts?! So, consider this the first in a "series."

I really loved reading all the posts attached to Jen's holiday picture challenge and seeing all the women and reading both what they thought about posting their photos and the comments on their posts.

One type of comment I consistently get when I post photos of myself is complimentary in regards to my hair. Now, this is a huge deal for me because I have terrible hair. Thin and fine and mousy brown (dirty blonde when I was a kid) are the kindest things I can say about my god-given hair. (I'm gearing myself up to post a photo of what I would look like if I did NOTHING to my hair--stay tuned.)

Anyway . . .

I actually like my hair, too. When I leave the house in the morning, wearing work clothes and makeup, I feel confident and like I project a professional image.

That confidence comes with a price tag.

The hair cut/color portion of my confidence costs $140 every six weeks (that includes the tip). Gulp. I am sure that some of you will be aghast at the price, while others will find it reasonable. I'm okay with posting the number because just recently my husband became aware of how much I spend on my hair (note, that this number does not include styling products . . . baby steps). For many years he's had a vague idea that my hair stylist wasn't cheap, but he never knew the actual number. Now he does, and we're still married.

There are whole conversations that might be sparked about the fact that I spend so much on my hair--societal pressure around looks, the patriarchal society in which we live, advertising . . . the list goes on.

I will concede that their are outside pressures affecting my need to have cute hair.

However.

I am a pragmatic person and the above pressures are not the battles over which I choose to get my knickers in a twist. If I want to feel confident and have others perceive me in a positive light, especially in the workplace, my hairdressing bill is the price I must pay, so pay it I do.

The connection between the money I spend on my hair (and on my makeup and my teeth and . . . you get the picture) and larger societal issues is that I truly do not believe I would have the job I have, or have gotten the raise I asked for, if I didn't look good(ish).

Really, this is all part of the bootstrap argument I've previously made. Bootstraps come in many forms and those that don't believe that being white and pretty and being able to afford a haircut that makes me feel confident and professional make it easier to accomplish my goals are just not living in the real world.

I am not going to say that cute hair is MORE important than a strong work ethic or intelligence, but I am going to say that it matters.

This post invites conversation on many points (from the important to the ridiculous) and I'd love to hear your thoughts on any or all of them. Am I an idiot for spending so much money on my hair?  Does your significant other know the price tag on your haircut (or clothes or manicures or . . . you get the picture)? ? Do you agree that looks can be an important component in being able to achieve one's goals?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What we're up to these days . . .

Social Butterfly became a brunette. Lest you think she's only about the aesthetic, she's also pondering and questioning Tuesday's vote on the Personhood Amendment in Mississippi. Thank goodness for high school government teachers who make current events part of the curriculum and give assignments a 21st century twist--they are currently making Facebook pages with friend lists and status updates for government leaders.

I had my say about testing in the local paper.

Examining the value of testing and assessment

I certainly hope we are rethinking school assessment. Test scores are driving instruction rather than reflecting instruction. The following anecdote proves my point. I was subbing in a seventh-grade classroom. The teacher had left a story for the students to read and a handout with comprehension questions. A student asked me where in the text he could find the answer to the question, “What do you think the author was trying to tell you?” I asked the student what he thought the story was about. His response? “I didn’t read the whole story. My teacher says we just need to find the key words to answer the questions.” This attitude is commonplace today.

In addition, if we suspended testing for one year we wouldn’t have had to lay off teachers and raise class sizes. Given the cost of testing it is my firm belief that testing, the way we are currently doing it, is lowering both the quantity and quality of the education students receive today. The current system is insane.

Jennifer Juggling

San Diego

 

 

This is the Face of Democracy

I'm sure you're all up on the Occupy Wall Street Movement--which is not, as I've heard some Fox propagandists newscasters surmise, a movement arranged/funded by/driven by the Obama campaign. This is a grass-roots movement--and one I think is way overdue. When I heard there was going to be a march and occupation in San Diego I knew I had to particpate. And particpate I did. My friend Theresa--a bigger political junkie than I am and the one who makes sure I see/hear all the really great op-ed pieces--and I made signs on Friday afternoon and then hit the streets of Downtown San Diego.

 The lighting in the park where we met was a photographer's nightmare--our signs say "We are the 99%. When working hard and getting an education aren't enough to get ahead . . . is it still AMERICA?" and "You know it's bad when middle-aged white women march." Theresa's amusement at the wording overrode her reluctance to proclaim herself middle-aged.

This was my very favorite sign,

but it definitely wasn't the only sign

The most incredible and heartening thing about this march is that it truly was made up of all types of people--every demographic you can imagine was represented.

Why was I there? If you read this blog regularly you know exactly what I think--and that I think that if you're going to complain about the problem it is incumbent upon you to become part of the solution. Part of my "why am I here" answer made the news . . .

Argh! Why I could embed this on my Facebook page, but not in Typepad I do not know, but here is the link. My 10 seconds of fame start at 1:10--though I think the whole piece is worth listening to if you have not been to one of marches/rallies.

I will have more to say about this populist movement as time goes on, but the important thing to say todays is this:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Free Market Death Panels

I have a lot I want to say about this subject but, due to the fact that I have a head-cold so severe that I almost ripped my earrings out of their holes in front of my class today because they were so DAMN HEAVY, I will be less verbose than is my wont.

You know how when you're involved with something you become hyperaware of it? Like when you are thinking of buying X model car and all of the sudden you see X model car everywhere? I thought you did. Since I'm back in the pharmacy field I am all about the drugs. In a purely educational way of course.

I both heard a segment on NPR and read an article in the last couple of weeks about the current shortage of chemotherapy drugs. Manufacturers have quit making some commonly-used chemo drugs. Why? Because they are no longer under patent and are not as profitable as they once were. The manufacturers have no legal obligation to notify anyone that they're not going to make the drugs anymore so oncologists are scrambling to figure out how they're going to treat their patients. You know, people with cancer who will die if they don't get the chemo.

This is the free market being left alone.

This is the free market free from government regulation.

Personally, I'd rather take my chances with an Obamacare Death Panel.

 

Class Warfare? Bring It On.

I didn't hear Obama's whole speech about his deficit-reduction plan and I didn't hear Boehner's entire explanation of why he opposes it--but I did hear the snippet where Boehner accuses Obama of engaging in "class warfare."

Honestly?

I would LOVE it if Obama got down to it and engaged in some serious class warfare--because the Republicans have been at it for quite some time and the upper-upper class is kicking every other classes' asses.

I used to feel that my family was "lower-upper-middle class." Now I would say that we're "high-middle-class" and hanging on to that spot with our fingernails. I think my kids are going to be lucky to hold onto that designation.

We are the lucky ones and I know it. Whether it will stay that way I don't know, and I sure would love to see a larger portion of our society become lucky.

A system where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer is a broken system and more of the same ol', same ol' is not going to cut it. If tax cuts for the wealthy created jobs we'd know it by now. It doesn't and there are plenty of studies to prove it.

This whole partisan politics (which I think is just a cover for racism on the part of many people) on the part of the Republicans has got to stop. It's destroying this country. The Democrats aren't blameless either--my father recently reminded me of a Will Rogers' quote that sums up exactly how I'm feeling:

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

 

 

 

Playing Chicken

I watched the evening news tonight. It was a huge mistake. First off, Diane Sawyer was wearing a hideous yellow blouse; given that Diane Sawyer always looks amazing, this was disconcerting. Then she started talking about the Debt Ceiling High Noon showdown and I rapidly spiraled into a severe depression.

These people seem just crazy enough to actually let this country go to hell in a handbasket over ideology that doesn't have any evidence to back it up--as in closing tax loopholes will NOT kill jobs. Truly. The evidence is clear. Also, ALL experts agree that spending cuts AND revenue increases are the only answer. ONLY--as in that's the one viable option.

I want to scream at John Boehner, when he blathers on about how the Democrats must compromise, that they ARE compromising. If you agree with the old saw that Democrats just want to tax and spend and said Democrats are agreeing to reduce spending--that's a compromise. Am I right?

Where is the compromise from the other side?

It looks to me, like the Republicans are so blinded by Obama-hate that they will screw this whole country just to teach him a lesson. I hope I'm wrong.