I had this amazing original idea to write about whether or not kids should have how opposed I am to kids having TVs in their bedrooms. Then I opened this morning's paper and their was an article taken from The blog Tara Parker-Pope does for the New York Times. Of course I immediately scrapped the idea, I don't want people to think I'm a copycat decided, "Hey, if it's good enough for a real journalist to write about, it's good enough for 'lil old me to write about!"
Photo: NYTimes
Plus, this way you can pop on over to her post to read the actual research while I just spout my opinion!
I would never, ever let one of my kids have a TV in their room. That includes one they might buy with their own money. If a family can't come together to watch TV, when can they come together? It's not like you're asking them to sit at your feet as you read the Bible by candlelight. You're probably not even asking them to choose between American Idol and Survivor since most of us have DVR's.
Some of the greatest skills kids learn by being part of a family are compromise and negotiation. Have you ever been around a person who has always gotten everything their own way? So not pleasant. Picking what show you're going to watch on TV together, or what movie you're going to rent at Blockbuster, teaches the arts of compromise and negotiation. Not getting to watch what you wanted teaches you to lose hopefully gracefully. And if it's something you really don't want to see you always have the choice of going to your room and READING A BOOK!
There are those out there that are against TV completely, and I can see their argument. However, I personally love me some TV myself, so the no TV thing would never work in this house. We definitely have limits though, like no TV on school nights (unless it's something I really want to watch!), and no video games during the week. How much more TV would my kids watch if they could just head off to their rooms and tune in and out at their own discretion? Too scary to contemplate.
If you want to hear from the professionals all the evils that result from kids having TVs in their rooms, head on over to the New York Times article; or you can just agree with me vehemently and leave me "Go Girl" comments! If you really don't agree with me, I'd love to hear the pro-TV-in-the-bedroom argument!
I'm first. Yikes!!!
Not a tricky one for me. I'm with you 100%. I think you have similar rules to me for much the same reasons. None of my children will ever have a TV in their bedrooms, nor do I have one in mine. My children are allowed one hour of computer time a day (weekdays and weekends) and they are allowed to watch a dvd/video on Mondays after school. They watch very little live TV - some sport, some nature programmes, occasionally the news, and Dr Who when it is on - it probably averages out at about an hour a week on top of their video on Monday. My three boys are younger than your children so they are in bed by the time I watch TV. If my daughter is at home she will occasionally watch something if I am - but she mostly reads or texts her friends!
Children should be doing things, not vegging out in front of TVs or computers. People often ask me how I get my children to read so much - it's easy, if they don't have TV/compter to veg out with all the time, then they tend to occasionally veg out with a book or listen to some music.
It would save me a lot of clearing up and make the house a nice quiet place if my children had TVs in their bedrooms - they wouldn't run around wrecking things, and treading mud into house. But I want my children to be active, and adventurous and thinking of ways to make my life more difficult!
We tend to have our family together time/negotiation (arguing) time over meals rather than TV.
Posted by: Reluctant Blogger | March 13, 2008 at 09:25 AM
I'm first. Yikes!!!
Not a tricky one for me. I'm with you 100%. I think you have similar rules to me for much the same reasons. None of my children will ever have a TV in their bedrooms, nor do I have one in mine. My children are allowed one hour of computer time a day (weekdays and weekends) and they are allowed to watch a dvd/video on Mondays after school. They watch very little live TV - some sport, some nature programmes, occasionally the news, and Dr Who when it is on - it probably averages out at about an hour a week on top of their video on Monday. My three boys are younger than your children so they are in bed by the time I watch TV. If my daughter is at home she will occasionally watch something if I am - but she mostly reads or texts her friends!
Children should be doing things, not vegging out in front of TVs or computers. People often ask me how I get my children to read so much - it's easy, if they don't have TV/compter to veg out with all the time, then they tend to occasionally veg out with a book or listen to some music.
It would save me a lot of clearing up and make the house a nice quiet place if my children had TVs in their bedrooms - they wouldn't run around wrecking things, and treading mud into house. But I want my children to be active, and adventurous and thinking of ways to make my life more difficult!
We tend to have our family together time/negotiation (arguing) time over meals rather than TV.
Posted by: Reluctant Blogger | March 13, 2008 at 09:26 AM
ooops sorry I seem to have said it all twice!!! One rant was bad enough.
I have no idea how to delete it. Can you do so?
Posted by: Reluctant Blogger | March 13, 2008 at 09:27 AM
I like your rules, they make total sense to me! I once lived with a single mom and her son. He demanded his own tv in his room. She gave it to him. He demanded to be served his dinner in front of his tv. She did. I couldn't stand it and moved out.
Posted by: Janet | March 13, 2008 at 09:51 AM
There was no tv in our kids' bedroom until a couple of years ago. It is not connected to the cable and serves only static. It is used for video games, and those are easy enough to turn off. There's no tv in our bedroom either.
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen | March 13, 2008 at 09:55 AM
You GO girl!! We don't need no stinkin' "expert" to know that having a tv in every room is a bad thing.
We only own one and the only time it's ever on is during any down time we may have on the weekends. (OK...I *might* have it one during AI, but that's my dirty little secret)
Posted by: susan | March 13, 2008 at 09:57 AM
NO TV in a bedroom (except for mine). My oldest begs for one and I've told him he can have a TV in his room when he's 25. Same for the other two.
Your points are all excellent--esp. the one about compromise which I'd never considered before.
A little TV is a good thing. Too much? You can't reverse that damage, so why go there???
Posted by: Melissa | March 13, 2008 at 10:33 AM
I knew someone awhile ago whose children had tvs, phones, and stereos in their bedrooms (back when they were called stereos). She couldn't figure out why they weren't doing their homework, were doing badly in school, and never wanted to spend time in the common family rooms.
Duh.
My kids will never have tvs, phones, or computers in their bedrooms.
Posted by: Alesia | March 13, 2008 at 10:35 AM
We don't have tvs or computers in bedrooms here. I think they provide too much temptation to not do anything else. Plus they steal precious sleep hours.
Posted by: Mrs. G. | March 13, 2008 at 10:53 AM
No TV's in my kids rooms. We have one in our bedroom but only because we had a third TV and no where to put it. It is old and crappy and we never turn it on. Well, I take that back. I turn it on in the morning to listen to the weather report about 2 times a week. I think we are going to put it in a corner in the basement for video games. I got used to the TV in my bedroom when Brian traveled 4 days a week on average. If I was going to sit and watch TV by myself, I would rather do it in my bedroom where it wasn't so creepy. I'm a fraidy cat.
I agree with the no TV in kids rooms. My kids don't even have much for toys in their rooms - books and puzzles and a couple action figures. I want to know what they are doing and where they are - moreso when they are older. This starts the habit.
KEEP BELIEVING
Posted by: Angie | March 13, 2008 at 11:22 AM
I'm with Melissa. I knew TV in the kids' bedrooms would provide too much screen time altogether, so it's a continuing policy. But I never thought about the compromise/learn to get along aspect. It's true though, and with four boys in a 3 bedroom ranch with no basement, we NEED compromising skills!
Posted by: Marie J | March 13, 2008 at 11:35 AM
If kids watched TV in their rooms, who would we have to change the channel. Oh, am I showing my age? Before the days of remote controls and automatic garage openers that is why people had children in the first place. I know my parents took advantage of us for these activities. In fact, even after we got a remote they didn't tell us and then relished changing the channel remotely behind our backs and making us get back up...
Posted by: AmyBow | March 13, 2008 at 11:53 AM
We are a one TV family. Needless to say none of us has a TV in our bedroom.
Posted by: Deb D | March 13, 2008 at 12:32 PM
My kids will not have TVs in their bedrooms, although we do have one in ours. My five-year-old was recently introduced to the PlayStation 2 that I gave my husband pre-kids. Our rule is only on Saturday OR Sunday with oversight.
My sister did allow a computer in my teenage niece's room but didn't hook it up to the internet. They have a small office off the kitchen so when someone's online, you know what they're doing. I have to say I thought this was a brilliant compromise.
I'd never thought of the socialization opportunities of shared TV watching. We socialize the animals during mealtimes (long, painful mealtimes).
Posted by: Manic Mommy | March 13, 2008 at 03:59 PM
I first found your blog because of Tink and the WWC with 'glass', in which you posted a lovely picture of a cocktail. Then I come back to see this week's WWC and read this lovely entry. So I HAD to stop and comment. YOU GO GIRL! Our deprived little girls do not have tvs or computers in their rooms either (in fact we don't even have cable outlets in their rooms!). We don't really limit either one (I'm too lazy, plus then someone would start asking why mommy can be on the computer all day!) but they spend as much time outside as inside without us having to push them. They share one computer and one tv, and have never known any different. In fact until about 6 months ago they shared a bedroom by choice. Our main reason for not having them in their bedrooms though is so we can keep an eye on what they are watching and accessing on the internet. Can't be too careful with such things!
Posted by: Karen | March 13, 2008 at 04:12 PM
My folks felt the same way. Thus, I went to college knowing all of the Lawrence Welk singers and non of the MTV bands.
I survived...barely.
Posted by: Wenderina | March 13, 2008 at 04:25 PM
You go girl! :)
Posted by: CircusKelli | March 13, 2008 at 05:18 PM
You go, girl! . . . except that, honestly, I wish I had a TV in our bedroom JUST FOR ME, b/c I'm sick of watching my husband's sci-fi/Speed Channel/Family Guy repeats.
Posted by: The Mom Bomb | March 13, 2008 at 05:48 PM
My boys have a tv in their bedroom. Homework is done in the kitchen. No video games on school nights. There's one computer in the office that the kids and I share. Between homework, school, various extra curricular activities, and the fact that they'd rather play outside, the tv in their room has never been a problem.
Posted by: Tootsie Farklepants | March 13, 2008 at 05:51 PM
My girls are going to hate me.
I don't want them to have TVs in their rooms, a cell phone (other than one with an emergency plan), video games or boyfriends.
Of course, before they were born, I also said I'd feed them only homemade food and diaper them in cloth and that went to crap.
Posted by: Deb | March 13, 2008 at 08:30 PM
The only pro-TV-in-the-bedroom thing I can say is, "Have you ever seen an episode of Dora the Explorer? The SAME episode? 429 times?"
Just kidding. I think you're right on. (fade to...Dora, Dora, Dora, the Explorer...Grab your backpack, let's go ...")
Where was I?
Posted by: Jamie | March 13, 2008 at 08:42 PM
I'm in the never, ever camp.
I think if they had a tv in their room, they'd never come out!
I limit my kids to one hour a day. Once tball starts and the weather gets nicer I bet they'll watch less.
I veg in front of the tv (or computer!) at night after they're in bed.
Posted by: Life As I Know It | March 13, 2008 at 08:46 PM
Testing 1, 2, 3 . . .
I've typed in a long-ass comment twice and it doesn't appear. ;-(
So here's the short version: I agree.
Please appear, please appear, please appear Comment of Mine.
Posted by: Cheri | March 13, 2008 at 10:38 PM
Look! Up there! A Comment from me!
So, I'm gonna try again.
You go girl!
Laura came home from a play date with a child who had a TV in her room. Needless to say, she wanted one to. Of course, I said no. Laura then proceeded to make herself a giant, flat-screen plasma TV, a remote control, a DVD player, and a bunch of DVDs out of construction paper. Then she taped the flat-screen TV to her bookshelf so she could "watch TV" from her bed. It was a very artistic and creative effort, in which she invested a lot of time and talent. She never would have done all that if she'd been watching TV in her room.
I rest my case.
Posted by: Cheri | March 13, 2008 at 10:42 PM
Ugh! I hate typos that make me look like I have no grammar skillz.
It should have read: " . . . she wanted one too."
Posted by: Cheri | March 13, 2008 at 10:44 PM
Sorry, this comment got too long. Read it anyways!
Similar to Tootsie Farklepants, my kids have TV in their rooms. (Thank you, I didn't want to be the only one.) Younger one does homework in the kitchen, older one does homework in his room with no TV. Video games are downstairs, because that's where the HDTV is, when the homework is DONE. We usually watch a movie together as a family in the evening. Their bedroom TVs are used early morning weekends (younger) or later night [9:30-10:30, not really late](older). They self-censor, so I don't worry about what they watch. Hey, South Park's totally inappropriate but it's really funny!
Oh yeah, we eat dinner together at the table almost every night. (Almost, because sometimes I just don't FEEL LIKE IT! Give the mom a break!)
Computers: for a long time we had only one computer in the living room. I got a laptop last year, which I allowed them to use in the living room only. Oldest child (17) recently got a laptop as an early graduation present. After a week, it died and he was required to troubleshoot it with Dell. He fixed it. He can do homework in his room, but for gaming (world of warcraft) he he comes downstairs.
There is no TV in our master bedroom. (OK, it is said the MB should be used for sleep and sex only. So I abide by that.)
My confession is we have more TVs than people, but most of them are always off. (We just never get rid of the old ones, we move them to another room.)
I am TV deprived in this house. Because 3 males to one female equal no chick flicks. So I spend too much time on the internet.
So, I say: Moderation. Strike a balance. It's what we do throughout our lives.
Posted by: Smalltown Mom | March 13, 2008 at 11:41 PM
No TV in the boy's rooms ever for me. I will let them fight it out with their eventual wives.
Posted by: HRH | March 13, 2008 at 11:42 PM
AArrrgh! I made a really articulate post (for me) but apparently I clicked one too many keys and Typepad thought I was a spammer. I'm sorry! If it appears, I hope you save it. Thanks!
Posted by: Smalltown Mom | March 13, 2008 at 11:54 PM
ok, now I'm embarrassed to let you know how many tvs we have in this house! We used to have a tv in each of the kids rooms but then we moved to a house that wasn't wired. The kids totally didn't care! So now we have two tvs just collecting dust in the garage. We tried, but we couldn't even force tv on our kids. Those darn kids rarely watch tv.
Now myspace... they can sit in front of that hypnotic crap for hours! Arg!
Posted by: Mary | March 14, 2008 at 12:44 AM
Go Jenn!
There was a t.v program on channel 4 here a couple of years ago - it was called "The F***ing Fulfords" - about a upper class family in Devon - to say that they are disfunctional would be an understatement....and guess what their children did with their time?
You guessed it!
Mother Fulford got so annoyed with her unresponsive brats that she ripped the T.V. away from the wall, carried it across their stately lawns....and threw it in their lake - hahahahahahahah!
I'd love to do that!!
Posted by: Domestically Challenged | March 14, 2008 at 03:49 AM
Issei (10 yrs. old) has gotten onto this "but why can't I have a tv in my room?" kick. It seems that some of this friends have them so he thinks he should too.
Sorry...but...no.
So...I'm with you...you go girl!!
(though...I am with Jamie and the plus side of them having one...I could actually watch something I wanted for a change and wouldn't have to watch for the bzillionth time *insert animated movie here*!!!)
Posted by: debbie | March 14, 2008 at 11:54 AM
Sorry, I'm going to have to befriend Tootsie Farklepants on this one - it'll be us against the world. Everyone in my house has a tv in their room. As far as TV time goes, at least 90% of the time they are in the living room watching something with us - The other 10% TV viewing time is the only time I can breathe through my lungs without one or more children siphoning off my air. They are all healthy, happy, involved with sports and/or extracurriculars, do their homework under my beady little gaze from 3-5 each night, make A's and B's in school and are generally good kids. I don't know if this would work in other families, it works for us. We don't have problems related to the bedroom TVs.
Posted by: Virginia | March 14, 2008 at 06:00 PM