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April 14, 2008


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Tootsie Farklepants

I've never been to mass but I did go to a Catholic wedding once. A skirt was a poor choice. Knee pads would have rocked.


Yup, we have decoder rings. You can get one at the Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast every second Sunday. ::giggle::

Another Catholic secret.... you only sit in the front row if you have enough kids to fill the pew. Everyone prefers the back pew!

Sounds like it was a nice service. Happy First Communion to your nephew.


Never been inside a Catholic Church - but they look beautiful from the outside, too!



Jenn, Mass at the Vatican, which I did last year (Easter Vigil) was like 3 1/2 hours long -- mostly in Latin.

Having said that, it was fantastic.

This is a great list. Absolutely GREAT.


Yes, it all comes flooding back and reminds me why I left the Catholic Church when I was 13.

I know Bossy is your new husband, is that why she's on your sidebar twice? Is she Catholic?

Mary Alice

We're Episcopalian and we do all the up and down pew aerobics too. We might need knee replacement eventually, but we work off the coffee hour treats!


The one and only time I was ever in a Catholic church was for my friend's wedding...and she had us wearing these God-awful dresses with really bad shoes...thank goodness we had wine before the ceremony or I don't think I would have made it. Did we kneel alot? hmmmm...I might have to ask her about this...I just remember the wine!!!


You just made me feel so much better about my own religious choices.

The bread wafers are pretty good, though.


Yep - it's just like riding a bike! Fun observations!

Have a good day, Jenn - Kellan

The Mom Bomb

. . . "worship at the altar of youth sports"! Too funny. We worship at the altar of Pokemon. Maybe we'll start our own cult.

Jennifer H

Yeah, I would be scouting out the BACK row. In any church.

I wish I were 5'8".


I was raised as a Protestant, but our next door neighbors were Catholic and I went to their services a couple times...it was so much more ceremonial than ours LOL!


I've been to a few Catholic services. One mass was all in French. didn't really follow that.


OMG! You're not going to believe this, but I was just thinking about a post somewhere along these lines, but then I chickened out. But seriously, sitting on a hard pew for 1 1/4 hours is really, really tough. For so many reasons.


Very funny.
I have been to catholic churches before too.
It is a workout! :)
I accidentaly took communion in a catholic church as a kid, my Step Mom was horrified that I did it, and took the cracker/bread out of my mouth and ate it herself!!!
perhaps I should blog about this weird happening...

Green Girl

As a non-catholic, I really related to your observations--Every. Single. One.


As a kid who was raised Catholic, I really related to your observations too! It all does come flooding back, and so funny your observation of the manicure...

Reluctant Blogger

I was raised as a good Catholic girl but I rather think I wouldn't be terribly welcome at Mass these days! Not that I am tempted to go.
Catholic services are SO long - i can't last that long without needing a wee.

My children are not baptised Catholics - they are not baptised at all. We had a Naming Day for each of them and nominated Beer Parents and it is their duty to take them for their first drink in the pub when they reach 18. The Beer Parents (and some of the guests) also each bought a surprise present only to be opened when the child reaches 18. My daughter's ones were very very funny (she opened hers a year ago)


Thanks for your blog. Please check by blog out again to learn a little more about me.


I too related to your post; and I go to Mass EVERY WEEK. And about the communion cup? Have a little FAITH I'm just sayin' ;)


Thanks for sharing, I thought I was the only one that out of place!

mike golch

We got married in a catholic church,My wife is I'm not but before we were married I had to have the church's approval to be married,and in order to do that i had to have the church consider my first marriage analed in their eyes.I even was going and taeing my Mother In Law to her church as worshoping with her untill it got to the point that I could not drive.


Having grown up Catholic, attended Catholic schools for 12 years and going to mass daily for about 4 years from age 8 to 12, this post is hilarious to me. My first communion was more about the dress than anything, and my parents are quite spiritual, really. My grandpas were the best at sleeping sitting up which evolved into sleeping standing near a fencepost, etc. We used to get to mass 10 minutes early so we could get the best seat in the BACK of church. Having been to Rome and Paris, I can tell you the US Catholic churches got NOTHING on EUROPE.



Though I am not Catholic, I went to Catholic school. While I respect the religion and those who are part of it, it's not for me. I enjoy my church - I am protestant. It's not always easier getting up and out on Sunday morning, but I am always happy afterwards. =)

Little Miss Sunshine State

I nearly screamed out loud in a Catholic church once when the priest asked us to pray for the "poor unfortunate girls with embarassing pregnancies". My next church was much better, more social activism than I had ever seen in a Catholic church.
I'm also old enough to remember when you had to wear a hat and the whole Mass was in Latin.


I know that whole chalise thing freaks me out. But I don't have the decoder ring either...maybe it is anti-bacterial.


"I'm just sayin"...Wasn't you was it? Just askin!!

phd in yogurtry

Yes, it does "all come flooding back." I'm a lapsed catholic who tried going back in grad school (why? WHY?) but found it too uninspiring. And frankly, I just didn't believe in ANY of it. Over the years I've migrated to coy athiesm. Its a struggle, raising children without religion. I plan to post on this eventually. Its GREAT on Sunday mornings, though!

Great post!!

phd in yogurtry

as for the chalice, it IS alcohol you're drinking. it does kill lots of germs. but not if someone drools down the outside and all it gets is a napkin swipe.

but.. are those napkins the priest uses still so magnificently white and starched? i was always in awe of those beautiful white linens. the purity of it all.

Manic Mommy

I survived 12 years of Catholic school and I all I got were these (stopping to count here...) five sacraments.

Went to a funeral yesterday and it is like riding a bike.


But, was there a good party afterwards?


I love this! My daughter's first communion is next month. Rethinking the manicure now. (Not the hair though!) The chalice thing never used to bother me, but now, with four kids who could potentially give each other a stomach virus, I forbid it! (Probably going to hell for that.)


I could SO have written this post. In fact, last year I wrote this:


See if I have anything you didn't put.

Darth Doc

Actually, God protects you from germs if you take the the blood of Christ.

There's nothing wrong with looking good for your First Holy Communion. It's almost as big as the Bar Mitzvah.


I am not Catholic, didn't grow up with any religion. Hubby is Catholic and the kids were baptized Catholic. We go to church almost every Sunday. I can relate to this post!

One comment above made me respond: "actually I think it's challenging raising kids WITH religion."

It's my oldest daughter's First Communion next weekend. I am doing her hair myself - nothing else occurred to me. I'm sure I am not doing stuff I'm supposed to be doing for this. Whatev.


I loved your observations, Jenn!

As for me: not Catholic -- Protestant of varying stripes. Not a card-carrying Atheist because I don't disbelieve strongly enough to carry the card. I guess I'm a listless heathen, but probably one of very few of my ilk who are active members of their church's hand bell choirs, while not being active members of their churches.

Does this make sense?

Nora Bee

I feel the same way about church attendance. Can't seem to get into the rhythm of it.


As an Episcopalian, we have some of the same habits, with kneeling and the chalice of wine. You get older and think about what kneeling means (subservience to the priest or what?), and drinking out of a germy cup, and you start to consider going Mennonite.

mandy g.

I am an atheist married to a lapsed Catholic (now atheist). When we go to Catholic Church for weddings, etc, I find it interesting... almost like an out of body experience.

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