Flashback Friday: My Husband's History As A Father

Father's Day 1995. For many years every Father's Day Mr. Fix-it would take them all out on a boat on the reservoir near our house. One year everyone was too big to fit in just one rental motorboat. Sigh.

 

I was one of those girls that always new she wanted kids, and always wanted to be a SAHM. My mother was a huge fan of all the domestic arts and would have made a perfect SAHM, but her life didn't work out that way. One of the reasons it didn't work out for her was that she made really bad choices in the men she married. Since my mama didn't raise no fool, I figured you needed to marry someone with the same life goals you had in order to be happy. I wanted whoever I married to be a great dad as well as a great husband.

Enter Mr. Fix-it. Since we knew each other for 7 years, dated for 5 years, and were engaged for 2 years before we got married, I knew our goals were the same. We wanted to have and raise a great family.

If I didn't already suspect I'd hit the jackpot with Mr. Fix-it in the fatherhood department, I knew it for sure when my niece was born. My sister was 18, I was 20, and Mr. Fix-it and I had been together for 2 years. My sister was troubled before she had a child, and she was even more troubled afterwards. My sister and the baby lived with my mother. Grown-up Girl was 2 when I moved back home to help my mother with her because my sister was heavily involved in drugs and was a neglectful parent. Anyway, all that's another story. The upshot is that my mother, me, and Mr. Fix-it became Grown-up girls de facto parents even before we were married.

After we were married, the four of us continued to be a tight-knit family. When opportunities for promotions for Mr. Fix-it arose that required relocating we barely discussed it; leaving Grown-up Girl was not an option and the complicated and tenuous guardianship relationship between my mom and GuG's parents was a boat that nobody wanted to rock. Without a backward glance, Mr. Fix-it sacrificed moving up rungs on the career ladder for our family. He's done that in other ways too; choosing to not be a workaholic, making spending time at home his biggest priority.

Soon, our own kids began to come along. MVP, followed 3 years later by Danger Boy, and then 20 months later Social Butterfly. We all lived together, 2 households, but 1 family. Big, mostly happy, definitely a family. When my mom died it was never a question of who Grown-up Girl would live with. She had always referred to her grandmother, me, and Mr. Fix-it as her "parents" and we were.

Mr. Fix-it is a great father in so many ways. As a provider, as an example of a responsible man, as a man that knows how to do a load of laundry and run a vacuum, as a coach, as a chauffeur, as a playmate, as a disciplinarian, as a good husband, as a gift-giver (the girls do love getting their jewelry), but mostly as a man that was a Dad, first, last, and always to all his kids, whether or not they were his biological offspring.

Today I salute you, Mr. Fix-it--Happy Father's Day--all the ones in the past and all the ones yet to come.

Comments

[kcinnova]

"Mr. Fix-it sacrificed moving up rungs on the career ladder for our family. He's done that in other ways too; choosing to not be a workaholic, making spending time at home his biggest priority."

This is also a description of SuperDad. We married wonderful men, didn't we?

Happy Father's Day!!

[Kellan]

What a nice tribute to you wonderful (and cute) husband. What a beautiful picture - gorgeous kids! Hope he has a Happy Father's Day. Take care- Kellan

[Smalltown Mom]

You have a wonderful husband. This was a lovely tribute. Happy Father's Day to Mr. Fit-It.

[AlphaDogma]

What a wonderful salute to your husband. And your family. And the life you've built.

And I read the post to which you linked -- it was very powerful.

[Domestically Challenged]

You have a very special husband - spoil him today!
x

[Manager Mom]

awww. happy FD to Mr. Fix-it and to all of you!!!

[Suzanne]

I Love this Jen. You brought tears to my eyes. He is very similar to my Coach. Great guys...we got lucky and the funny part is I DID not have a role model either..my Mom chose the bad ones.
We did good.

[Jen on the Edge]

What a wonderful tribute. And the photo is particularly cute.

[wisewomencoffeechat.com]

This is a wonderful tribute to your husband. Sounds like a great guy. As a working Mom with four kids as well, we know that it takes a true partner to make everything work as seemlessly as possible - and even at that, there are typically a lot of bumps in the road. But that's life!

[standing still]

Awesome post. You chose well. As did he.

[Hilary]

What a lovely Father's Day gift. (sniffle)

[MamaMo]

All that AND he does laundry... oh my! Nothing better in life than a solid marriage to an awesome person. Enjoy your weekend!

[Nap Warden]

Great Hubby tribute!

I sent you an email...I wondered if you got it?

[david]

this was so nice. Thank you for sharing Mr fix it's aka Dad's story with us. I so enjoyed it

[kalurah]

What a sweet tribute to your husband!
The ones that do laundry and vacuum are definite KEEPERS!! :)

[Susan]

What a wonderful post! I, like you, got extremely lucky in the husband/father department. You got a great guy there and a beautiful family!

[Memarie Lane]

Your sister sounds a lot like my sister.

[Suzy]

It's women like you Jenn, that make me realize that I could never have done it. I was too busy chasing a career and didn't pay much attention to 'choosing' the right man. If I had, I'd like to believe that I would have made the same wonderful choice that you did.

Hummina hummina and he's cute too!

[Mrs. G.]

I love good men. Good grown up men.

[mandy g.]

It sounds like you a blessed with a fantastic partner.

[San Diego Momma]

There's so much man-bashing on blogs these days, that it's really nice to hear from a woman who loves who she married.

Loved that.

[Kristin]

Happy Father's Day to your husband - a real man!

[kate]

you are both lucky ducks. wonderful.

[Just Jamie]

That is absolutely the definition of a good man. Congratulations for finding him, keeping him, and celebrating him.

[Tootsie Farklepants]

I could have written the first 2 sentences in this entry.

[myra]

i really love reading about people in love. you have IT. and you are lucky. now go hug him.

[Mike Golch]

sounds like you hit the jackpot when you found Mr.Fix-it.My hat is off to him.I have know too many men that would not have doom what he has done.they were my co-workers.
but i thought that some if their brains were tnt it wount not even make one firecracker.

[Grandy]

What a family. I'm so impressed by you both. Sweet post.

[Sharon]

What a wonderful tribute! This was a touching post, thanks!

[Reluctant Blogger]

I sometimes think about bloggers when I am walking about - you know, when I should be compiling a mental list of everything I need to do that day - and when I think about you, what I ALWAYS remember is that you took in your sister's daughter when you were such a young thing yourself. Well, I do think of you cleaning cupboards whilst talking on the telephone as well.

I may not have been very good at picking male partners for myself but I think I did pick men who were good as fathers. So I guess that is something! Al is always here with the boys (making a mess of my house and leading them into trouble!)

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

Blah blah blah, he's a great dad. Blah, blah, blah, he fixes stuff. BUT HOLY SMOKES JENN! No wonder you have all them there children! He's HOT!!!

[JCK]

OK, you totally made me cry. Lots.

[kcinnova]

It just occurred to me, you and I had the same goals when we were young things: have children, be a SAHM, and marry a wonderful man who makes a great father!
Sometimes life works out beautifully this way. I'm so glad it did for both of us.

[Carrie]

Hope you all have a wonderful Father's Day with each other!

[Chatty]

God Bless Mr. Fix-it. Even though I'm sure he gets more than he gives (because he loves and is loved by ALL his children, and that in itself is a gift - the rest is all "extra", when a father is as good as he is - though much deserved) it is obvious that he has always gone the extra mile to make things even more special for his family. And thank you to you, for posting such a beautiful tribute.

[Gina]

A good man is a blessing. That was a beautiful post.

[Janet]

He sounds like a fantastic guy :-) Wish him a Happy Father's day for me, k?