We're on the 17th shot for my Bossy Photo Collage submission. I have rejected all previous photos for various reasons (mostly having to do with forehead wrinkles and undereye darkness):
Grown-up Girl: Damn these cameras and their insistence on capturing reality!
(I should have read this post from Next Door 2 My Ex before I hit send)
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Things I never expected to say and hear (seeing as how I started out with a no violent toys policy) in my house.
Me to MVP and Danger Boy: No pistol whipping in the house!
Danger Boy: Mom! He's got the blow gun!
Grown-up Girl and DB and I are laughing:
DB: Just because It's funny doesn't mean it's not serious!
DB is pointing the airsoft gun at MVP:
DB: Put the blow gun down!
MVP: I don't negotiate with terrorists.
DB: Put it down!
MVP: 4th amendement!
(Minnesota Matron, this is your future!)
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DB: You invited ____________ to the party?!
Me: You know what they say, you can't pick your relatives.
DB: I know, but you can pick whether or not you invite them!
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Me: How's your job going?
Music Man (who's first post-college "real" job is in IT): Apparently I'm getting paid so little that I'm actually putting Indian outsourcers of business.
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Me: What part of the sentence "I don't want to hear anymore" indicates that you should talk faster and louder?
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Step-sis, MIL, Social Butterfly and I are sitting on the couch. SB has her raging fever.
SB: Look at all these bruises on my legs. I wonder if I have anemia again; I haven't been taking the iron pills.
Me: You have a physical scheduled on the 26th. We'll have the doctor check.
MIL: My niece had a lot of bruises. It turned out she had Aplastic Anemia.
Step-sis: Is she okay now?
MIL: Oh, no. She was dead inside of 2 months.
Me (Inside my head: Good lord, woman---wtf is your problem?! Are you an idiot?!): SB, you DO NOT have Aplastic Anemia, you just have a lot of bruises from holding people up during cheer practice.
I Love your snippets! How do you remember them? Do you write them down? Sometimes my kids say hilarious things, but all I can remember later is they said something funny...sigh...And thanks for the link!!
Posted by: The Girl Next Door | June 21, 2008 at 12:45 AM
Life in your house sounds like fun. And I complement you on your memory.
Posted by: Smalltown Mom | June 21, 2008 at 01:21 AM
my youngest is a chronic worrier and that quip would have cost me many sleepless nights. I hate when ppl make such thoughtless remarks!
Posted by: ms_teacher | June 21, 2008 at 01:25 AM
These were great. I especially love the razor wit of your kids. And yours, of course!
Posted by: JCK | June 21, 2008 at 02:28 AM
I need a cheat-sheet of Who's Who in your family. I was picturing MVP as, maybe, 11 or 12. If so, and he can cite the 4th, he needs a better nickname. Like "Perry Mason."
Posted by: Kalynne Pudner | June 21, 2008 at 03:56 AM
I want to come visit you guys. So funny, all of you are. I love that kind of humor!!!
Posted by: Suzanne | June 21, 2008 at 07:53 AM
Your MIL needs to be bitch smacked. Just saying...
Posted by: Claudia | June 21, 2008 at 08:11 AM
I love these each week. I personally think teenagers are quite funny, when they're not, you know, being teenagers.
KEEP BELIEVING
Posted by: Angie | June 21, 2008 at 08:55 AM
I love when you do these - so fun and funny! I loved this one, "Me: What part of the sentence "I don't want to hear anymore" indicates that you should talk faster and louder?" - HA!!!
Have a good weekend, Jenn - see you - Kellan
Posted by: Kellan | June 21, 2008 at 11:35 AM
Your Music Man has a great sense of humor...but I'm not surprised, as you all seem to find the funny in life's circumstances.
We also started out life with boys having no violent toys...and they made guns out of Duplos! There is definitely something genetic going on!
Posted by: kcinnova | June 21, 2008 at 01:06 PM
My camera seems to have a way of bringing out dark circles and crows feet that don't exsist in real life too!
Posted by: Mary Alice | June 21, 2008 at 02:21 PM
Soo funny! Sounds like the noise around my house.
My daughter is a bit of a hypochondriac too. I don't know where she get's it. It's not like nurses sit around thinking of different medical conditions we have...
Posted by: Heidi | June 21, 2008 at 08:13 PM
dead inside 2 months...what is wrong with people?
Posted by: kate | June 21, 2008 at 10:50 PM
Great moments captured. All except the MIL comment. Eesh. Yuck.
Posted by: Just Jamie | June 22, 2008 at 06:35 PM
I love this tidbits!
Your mil is cracking me up...
Posted by: Kristen | June 22, 2008 at 10:34 PM
Please tell me you gave said MIL "the look".
By the way...I'm liking your new look over here. Looks great!!
Posted by: Grandy | June 23, 2008 at 12:48 AM