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July 25, 2008


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I had a moment like that in Aprilish of last year. It was at the big comedian's party and memorial event for comedian Richard Jeni. I put two pictures of myself with others on my blog.

A month later an actor friend of mine called and said "I was reading your blog. About the party? DELETE DELETE DELETE!"

I did. I'm in show business, we're even more vain than normal people.


All the emotion really is conveyed through this picture. So glad you didn't delete. Thanks for sharing!!! Really good picture!


What a great subject. I think it is all too easy to edit and delete ourselves these days. And then where will be the honest photos, the lives captured. They'll be in pictures like this one. It is lovely. And you DO look so happy.

Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy

A very good lesson for us all. Thanks, Jenn.


Awesome picture! It show the real you, laughing and happy being hugged by your sweet girl.

This shows so much more beauty than any perfectly stylized and highly edited shot.


I love that shot! You are gorgeous in it, a genuine beauty that comes through. I like what you said about editing your life's record. I tend to do that myself--and I need to stop.


I noticed and admired the photograph before I read much of the post. My reaction? What a wonderful picture! I heartily agree with both Susan and McSwain.
And crows feet? I only see those on women who smile and laugh often. I think they're beautiful!
That said, I like to hide behind my camera, because pics of me are like a 3am phone call: horrifying.


oh, i do this to. don't allow my photo to be taken, don't want anyone to see my photoso....

i think this photo of you is wonderful. how beautiful to see the two of you together so comfortable with each other, so happy.



Mary Alice

You do look wonderfully happy and the love your daughter is so evident. You are right, we have an idea in our mind of what we think we should look like and I am guilty of it too.

Sass E-mum

I received an email like that... only I was wearing a bikini.

You've reminded me that the photo was taken because Recaro, Peaches and i were all having such a great time.

I won't delete it now, just don't expect to see it online any time soon.


Good topic and you're quite right. I love the easy delete option. Good food for thought, Jenn.


OK, I've learnt my lesson, I will think harder before hitting the vanity button!

You do both look very happy - and those are moments to cherish.

Just off to see Mamma Mia...

standing still

This one truly resonates with me. Thanks for the reminder.

Little Miss Sunshine State

I feel the same way about pictures of myself.
The very first thing I noticed about your picture was your daughter's arms around you and how BEAUTIFUL you both looked.


I dunno, looks like a sweet picture to me!


Jenn, you are beautiful in EVERY way. I loved this post. And needed it.


Happiness is beautiful.


Timely post - I was just looking at the pictures Larry snapped of me at the beach last week and contemplating deleting them all.


There are almost never pictures taken of me, for the same reason, I am always the one with the camera. But in the last few years, I've been trying to hand it to others, at least a little. I want pictures of me with my kids too, not just daddy. And last week I posted pictures from my class reunion for all the internets to see. AHHHHH! So I'm right there with you working on this vanity thing.
ps That picture of you with your daughter is lovely.


When I was a kid I never understood why my mother was always mumbling when someone took her picture with her hair undone and makeup off...I thought she was beautiful no matter what. And now that I'm a mom I am doing the same mumbling and I have to remind myself that my daughter will (hopefully!) feel the same way. And that having those pictures of joyous moments is what really matters. Thanks for bravely sharing a photo even if it makes you a little uncomfortable. The moral of the story is poignant.


That is just a beautiful picture of the two of you. It captures so much. Thanks for keeping it and sharing it with us!

Mom Taxi Julie

What a great post! And it really is a great picture! You can see the love from your daughter and look how happy you look!


You look vibrant in this photo. I understand what you're saying though, because I'm always very critical of my own pictures, good or bad.

Smalltown Mom

I love it!

phd in yogurtry

Oh I know all about the delete button. I've even had a spell of getting carried away with Photoshop and airbrushing and thought, this is addictive. And wrong. Stop.It.

You do look beautiful. You do look happy. And bravo to you for posting it.

Angie @ Keep Believing

Thanks for this post. I can't tell you how many family photos I delete because when choosing the one in which "we all look best" I really am choosing the one in which "I look best." I will look differently.



Beautiful! The love in that picture is so evident...my daughter isn't a hugger and I respect that - we adore each other - but sometimes I really wish she were.


You are both beautiful--your love for each other is evident :)


That really makes you think to look at yourself through others eyes and not just your own. I am always dieting thinking I need to lose that pesky 10 pounds, when everyone tells me I look great.

Jennifer H

It is a great photo, and I'm glad you posted it. I'm glad for you, and for your daughter, that you didn't delete it.

I'm guilty of overusing the delete button.


Oy. The main reason I am the family photographer is so that I can be behind the camera and not in front of it.

If someone should wrest the camera out of my hands and point it at me, I inspect every photo for extra chins, crazy eyes, etc.

Your post absolutely nails me. And makes me sniffle a little.


The memory you can attach to that picture. I am so glad you kept it. Why oh why are we so critical of ourselves?

Mrs. G.

Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than loving and being loved.

San Diego Momma

I agree with the others. I see a lot of beauty in that photo. And I'm glad you do now, too.

stephanie (bad mom)

OMG - your daughter looks just like the adorable Jodie Foster in "Freaky Friday"!

Yes - gorgeous, meaningful shot and thank you for sharing.


My blessing is that I can't see my face in the morning.

We see flaws in ourselves that go unnoticed by others



I let a picture of me slip in every once in a while so that history will know that I did indeed exist. Otherwise they'd all be in the delete bin. You're right, though, that it probably isn't a good idea to erase yourself just because you aren't happy with the way you look. Your picture is beautiful.

Shamelessly Sassy

I am the same way about photos. This is a fabulous mother/daughter shot. I'm glad you put it up here.

grumpy momma

It's a GREAT picture.

I am guilty of the same thing, and my mom was guilty of the same thing. We have very few pictures of her today, but I love and treasure every one. (She passed away in 2001 at 49.)

I try to remember this with my own kids - THEY"RE not looking at all the physical "flaws", they just see the momma who they love and who loves them.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!

Isn't it interesting how we see ourselves so differently than others do? I think you are so wise and forthright and real. I just adore you. And that photo? I see such radiant beauty, happiness, the bond between with you daughter, joy, and light in that photo. Thank you for sharing it, and for your insights.

I had my blog for well over a year before I posted any photos of myself. I had used a "Lucy Ricardo" avatar in my profile. And even in my profile photo (taken by Jamie at Kate's house), Trish photoshopped out a green glooberdoo that was stuck in my teeth (which I hadn't even noticed, but Trish has the artiste eye). I'm the family photographer, but when someone else would take a photo, I would cringe inside. It is still hard to stand still for a photo (WHY IS THIS?), but when I think of all the photos that I missed with my kids in the past, I feel sad that they won't have recorded memories like the one in the photo you posted with your daughter. So now I stand still and let the pictures be taken. And cringe inside, just a little.

Just Jamie

Who me? Enhance a photo of myself? Uh, yeah. Okay. I confess.

Good reminder. Maybe I'll try it too. Maybe.


Oh, I am so glad you didn't delete it. You are gorgeous, beautiful and full of happiness. It is perfect.

Manic Mommy

As I'm sure you understand, I am not in the majority of the family pictures taken - as I am the photographer. And what shots I was in, I found the need to criticize.

About a year ago, I decided that I'd rather be IN the family record, whatever my appearance*, than absent.

* Note: This does NOT apply to the beach pictures of me on day 27 of a 28 day cycle. I think I'm retaining at least as much salt and water as the beach!

Oh and I think it's a lovely picture.


I'm sensitive about my pictures, too. I am always a little surprised at how I look to others when the way I look in my own minds eye is so different!

But this one of you is really a wonderful photo.

I'm testing the waters on my blog, putting the rare photo of me on it without much fanfare.


Ok, I'm totally guilty of Photoshopping a bit...now I just have a picture of an orangutan for my user pic so I could quit that.
The feeling of your picture is just so sincere, so sweet...you can tell that both of you are happy and enjoying the moment. That's what life is all about. I'm glad you didn't delete it.


I think it's a beautiful photo!

We are too hard on ourselves, are we not!


I love the sentiment, and the photo!


It's a beautiful shot of two happy people...and perfect in it's own right!


I love this. I LOVE the picture.
I think the true feelings always come out when WE are not posing.....

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