I've already made my feelings clear about wanting my kids to be independent. Apparently, it's not just my kids that I want to be independent, it's your kids too. What brings this up? Every year our high school does a thing called "kick-off." Natch, kick-off relies heavily on volunteers and even more natch, yours truly has been there, working diligently, every year since they started this.
Kick-off is held the week before school opens and is a chance for the students to turn in all their paperwork (downloadable on the 'net), buy ASB cards and P.E. clothes, get their schedules and pick up their textbooks. It makes the first day of school go a lot more smoothly. Even though I work kick-off, my kids always go on their own (there are staggered days and times to make things manageable--we are talking 1800 kids here).
Last Tuesday morning from 8-11 (for my regular readers, that would be the day after my first day of school and not too long after my energy-sapping 36 out of 96 hours in a car and yes, I do need my head examined) I was there for Freshman kick-off, manning Station 1, the paperwork station. I was a Gatekeeper. Your mom didn't sign your Zero-Tolerance form? No schedule for you!*
I would say that perhaps 10% of the kids came on their own. Amazingly, these kids were the ones that had everything together and projected a confident air. Another 10% of the kids had parents with them, but the parents stayed a respectful 5 feet behind them and let them handle everything on their own. The remaining 80%? Should have stayed home. 'Cause it was definitely the mom or dad show--they were treating their 9th graders (for those of you who can do the math, these kids are 4 years away from legal adulthood!) like toddlers.
Moms and dads shoved their children aside to write the kid's name on the form I handed out that was to be carried station to station. This was after I explicitly directed every comment and question at THE STUDENT and handed THE STUDENT the form. They didn't let their kids look at the forms, much less turn them over to me. Digression: I'm assuming these were the same parents who didn't teach their kids to tie their shoes before they started elementary school. Yes, it's time-consuming and yes, it's easier to do it yourself. But for the teacher with 20 Kindergartners to teach? She can do a lot more teaching when she's not tying 20 pairs of shoes!
My point here? Let your kids grow up! Let them be anxious and nervous in a new situation and make it through that situation okay and say to themselves "Hey, I can do things on my own! I rock!" Every time you think your child can't possibly to something independently, think about this: In ____ years, they'll be off to college, or getting a job, or joining the military. Then count back from that and think about what they should be capable of doing on their own.
*Actually I did a lot of this: Looking straight into student's eyes, blinking like a gnat just flew into my right eye, saying "Go out to the parking lot where your mom is waiting and have her sign this and then come back to me." Wink, wink. For those that obtusely maintained their mother was not in the parking lot? Sorry, there's only so much I can do. Unless I personally know your mother; in that case I'm more than happy to forge her signature.
That loud crash you heard? That was me falling off my soapbox!