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August 31, 2008

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Julie

OH I love you! clap clap clap!!

I TOTALLY agree with everything you just said. I dropped my daughter off for her freshman orientation and she was telling me how there were some parents there (the ones from her old school that run everything). I was like WTH?? Parents don't need to go to the highschool for things like that.

I do have to say I'm a bad mom and Trevor can't tie his shoes yet though. But I double knot them. Can I get a C- for that lol.

kcinnova

I am guilty of hovering in the background for EB's high school orientation last week. In my defense, it was for parents AND students. Also, he took off ahead of me and I watched with pride from a distance as he managed the crowds and picked up his schedule.
I was slightly useful - I could point out a small short-cut from one class to another, since I went through orientation his his older brother one year ago.

Joyce-Anne

I'm with you. It's important to encourage a child (even as young as 4 or 5) to do something for himself/herself. While my 4 year old isn't tying his shoelaces yet (I'm working on that--very slow process--he has fine motor issues), I do expect him to choose his own clothes and dress himself everyday. Some days this takes longer than I want it to, but I know that in the end he's proud of himself and so am I.

smalltown mom

Right on, Jenn!

I might drive him there...but then I'll sit in the car.

And the shoe tying??? I deal with that fallout. First graders should be able to tie their shoes. And say I Need to Use the Bathroom instead of I Have to Go Potty. That's my soapbox.

Mary

This was Magnificent! I took my oldest to his Freshman Orientaion last week. I don't know who was more nervous. I sent him on his way with 2 signed checks. I went to the parent meeting and listened to the most insane questions ever. Elementary school anyone?
He made it! I made it!

Hurdle one....complete!

suburbancorrespondent

I have a friend who is worried about letting her 16-year-old son ride his bike places or use the stove when she isn't home; yet she is getting ready to let him have his driver's license. Go figure...

Suzy

ACH! The helicoper mom! My parents were like you. Thank God. I have a 29 year old friend who has been calling her parents on their European cruise to ask them what she should do about her TWO DAY job. Her parents turned her into this person. They pay her credit cards, make her dr.'s appointments and call her 6 times a day. She's an emotional cripple. It's kinda gross to see up close.

MamaMo

Whenever I'm tempted to "step in" (and being a control freak - it happens ALOT), I try to remember the kinds of things my parents allowed me to do at certain ages - for example, at 12 I lived in Panama and would blaze my own trails through the jungle with a machete!
This is NOT going to be easy for me! But I'm going to do it nonetheless.

Hilary

Agreed.. totally.

grumpy momma

I LIKE it when you get up on your soapbox...always sensible and inspiring. I was just telling my Sis how I decided there was certain things Big Nut should be able to do on his own, and so I just started telling him that I won't help him until he tries. And lo and behold, even some of the things I didn't REALLY think he could do on his own, he is doing.

grumpy momma

Oh, also? The kid obtusely maintaining their mother wasn't out in the parking lot? That would have been me as a kid.

Deb

Here Here! Moving Engineering Guy into college yesterday I got to see a fair amount of these who had never been allowed/expected to take control of their lives. We blew off the parents presentation because I had done one last year with Computer Dude and just this spring with the Engineering faculty. I went to Computer Dude's freshmen orientation at high school because it was supposed to be for parents and students but I soon realized how superfluous I was and went home. I didn't bother going the next year when Engineering Guy was a freshman.

Green Girl

Girlfriend, you are totally ROCKING that soapbox! Amen to the backing off of parents--there's "concerned and involved" and there's "LET THEM GROW UP AND ACCEPT SOME RESPONSIBILITY SO THEY CAN BECOME PRODUCTIVE ADULTS SOMEDAY." (do I feel a wee bit passionate on this topic? apparently...)

jenrantsraves

(Applause) Amen, sista! My 21 month old puts away his own socks and helps unload the dishwasher, so I guess you could say, I'm riding that soapbox.

MamaHenClucks

So I'll admit, I am a bit of a control freak mom, who is in rehab, trying to quit the habit!

Chickie Boy was the one who has gotten the brunt of this controlling nature, unable to dress himself, tie his shoes or various other things until he went to kindergarten. Not because he couldn't, but because I wouldn't let him.

We often joke about how having a baby sister saved his life. Being that she was colicky and cried every moment of her life until the age of six months, I couldn't focus soley on him anymore.

So I'm working on giving them more independence because I don't want to be like the parents you describe. Whew!

Suzanne

I love this. You are so insightful and smart.
I have to push mine a bit more.....she is independent to a certain degree, then she relies on me for the very important stuff....you are making me think more closely about how I handle things...Thanks Jenn.

Tricia

If I lived in CA, I'd help you with the forgeries. It's hard to shoot down our own helicopters, but I agree that it's critical. I cant' tell you how proud my four-year old was when I insisted he walk up to a stranger and purchase a raffle ticket all by himself. He was really nervous, but after he did it, he was dancing and giving high fives.

San Diego Momma

I think you need to give parenting seminars. Seriously. I would pay to hear you say these things.

Shelley

I know I've said this before, but I am so right there with you. I did take my daughter to freshman get-your-paperwork-turned-in thingy two years ago, but only because she couldn't drive herself. And since it was July in Arizona, there was no way I was waiting out in the parking lot. But, I hung around the front door and let her take care of her own stuff. I always make them handle their own stuff. I make my 5 year-old get her own drinks, snacks and cereal, pick out her own clothes and tie her own shoes. I've seen too many "babies of the family" that are cripplingly dependant. (Like my husband's 34 year-old brother who can't hold a job.) I keep telling myself that they'll thank me someday. :) It probably won't be today, though.

phd in yogurtry

Those parents who treat their 9th graders like toddlers? They will be same parents complaining of never-empty-nest-syndrome. And my-kid-has-no-job disorder.

Kudos to you for your volunteerism. I'm ashamed to say I've pretty much given up on voluteering at my kids' elem school and have done little to nothing in Jr Hi. Shame on me. I do want to get involved in HS, however. The big bad world of monster teens.

Little Miss Sunshine State

I went to the Parent orientation at Sorority Girl's college because we had only moved here the week before. I felt like I need to hear the seminars on campus security (there are about 50,000 students there) and the Hurricane Plan (your kids won't be coming home because they throw a HUGE HURRICANE PARTY in the arena?.

The talk on Black Hawk Helicopter Parents was a riot. One Mom asked what her daughter was supposed to do if the shuttle bus was running late.
We were also informed that if your child skipped a class "My mother forgot to call and wake me up" is NOT a valid excuse.

We only live 45 minutes from campus, but the first time she called and said "I'm sick", I said "Well, go walk yourself over to the Campus Health Center"

ms. changes pants while driving

ooohhhhhh.... you're awesome. you remind me of my mom. is that weird? i mean, not that you're as old as she is. because she's like, almost 70. i mean the no nonsense crap.

i think i'm still asleep.

Fannie

I was smiling as I read this remembering Precious Oldest’s freshman COLLEGE orientation. The first thing they did was funnel the kids into one auditorium and the parents to another. Moms (and some dads) were losing it when they realized their baby was in the next room FILLING OUT THEIR OWN PAPERWORK! I wonder how many of those “babies” made it through freshman year?

Kristen

I have to admit to having a hard time letting go and stepping back, but I do. And I even remind my hubby to do the same. considering my mom filled out all my college paperwork at orientation, I think I am doing a pretty good job with my own. You inspire me!

bacelar

Scusate l'intervento che esula dall'argomento proposto ma orvrei sottoporVi queste domande:Perch sono state eliminate queste funzioni dal sito?:I voti nei post sono stati eliminati, perch ?Penso che se un intervento risulta essere maleducato o insolente, sottolineando la disapprovazione degli altri utenti si instauri in chi l ha lasciato un timore o una riflessione su quanto ha scritto.Altrimenti, a meno che non ci sia una supervisione accurata degli amministratori, essendo il messaggio anonimo si potrebbero verificare degli abusi. Bannarli servirebbe a poco essendo l iscrizione anonima. Questo senza nulla togliere agli iscritti che mi sembra siano molto corretti e responsabili.Un altra cosa, molto pi importante di questa, ho notato che non pi possibile scrivere recensioni. E una cosa momentanea o c stata qualche decisione in merito? Sarebbe un peccato perch molto utile sapere com' un determinato gioco e come viene considerato

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