Letter to the Editor and a Few Photos

I am so proud of San Diego--the biggest turnout in the nation. Laid back who? (photo from the San Diego Union Tribune).

I'm also proud of this girl:

 

The following is a letter I've sent to the San Diego Union Tribune. I'll let you know if it gets published.

I am a heterosexual woman, married for 21 years and the mother of four children. My life, and my marriage, is about as “traditional” as can be. My youngest daughter, 14, and I were among the thousands who marched on Saturday in protest of the passage of Proposition 8.

I marched because when I hear people say things like the quote from Janae Perez in Sunday’s article about the march, “We simply believe in traditional marriage” I want to cry in frustration. In my lifetime traditional marriage in many states would not have included interracial marriage. Should we have held to that tradition?

When people say, as the article states, that “those wanting to support same-sex marriage should have rallied before election day,” I agree and I feel ashamed. My only excuse is that I never believed that California, the state of my birth and where I’ve lived my whole life, would do this. I overestimated the compassion and belief in civil rights of many of my fellow citizens. I march now to attempt to right a wrong.

I don’t have gay kids, or gay relatives, or, really, any gay friends*, so this is not particularly personal for me. It is about right and wrong and equality and fairness and civil rights and the separation of Church and State. So now I must march.

Jenn

My apologies to Jason--I didn't feel that I had the space to get into the whole bloggy-love friendship thing!

                          OMomK, Bugs, Jenn, Social Butterfly

  (I'm pretty sure everyone thought OMomK  and I were a lovely lesbian couple with two beautiful daughters--not that there's anything wrong with that!)

Photos by Social Butterfly and innocent bystanders pressed into service.

Comments

[mandy]

I applaud you for standing up for others' rights. Vancouver has long supported those who choose to openly support and live an "alternative" lifestyle. Long live tolerance and acceptance and love.

[Nora Bee]

Yay for you. I hope it gets published.

[suburbancorrespondent]

I think this issue is becoming like the abortion issue - unnecessarily polarized. Are you a babykiller or prolife? Or, do you believe in women's rights or are you in favor of a patriarchical society that oppresses women?

In this case, it's Are you a homophobe or pro gay marriage? Or, are you interested in destroying the basis of our civilization or dedicated to saving it?

How about trying to understand each other? Many people (in the center) are truly offended by the gay community's use of the word "marriage." To them, "marriage" is a sacrament, bestowed by their particular church. These people would have no objection to civil unions for gay couples, however.

But what about all the male-female "marriages" that are performed by a Justice of the Peace (i.e., outside a religious setting), you might ask. Those are not sacramental in the least. Fine, then; what is called for here is a change of law. The state should not be allowed to marry anyone (gay or straight); in other words, my husband and I ("married" in a county courthouse) would have a civil union, not a marriage. I'm okay with that. Leave marriage to the churches; make state-sponsored marriages civil unions for everyone. Problem solved.

If both sides are willing to compromise, that is...

[Suz]

Great pictures and a wonderful letter. I hope they publish it. Although it seems that most of the people who are against this, will stay that way. They are the "crazed" part of church that I don't understand.
You and OMomK would make a lovely couple.

[kellyg]

First: I agree with suburban correspondent. Let the religious groups keep the word "marriage". The states then have domestic partnerships or civil unions or whatever other name we want to call it for heterosexual and homosexual couples. Basically it is the contract between two people who want to combine their lives. So if you get married in a religious ceremony, you get 2 pieces of paper -- a marriage certificate from your officiant and a civil union contract from your local municipality. (And you get to do the Superiority Dance.) What I don't want to see happen is a "marriage license" issued for heterosexual couples and a "civil union license" issued for homosexual couples from the local government. It smacks a little too much of "separate but equal" to me and we all know how well THAT worked. I'm not sure if this would appease either side, but I would hope it would be a place to start

Second: I must apologize. There was a Prop 8 rally here in my town and I did not know about it until Sunday. I didn't read Saturday's paper at all so I missed any announcements they had in the paper. When GA passed their "marriage amendment", I vowed I would do more to put an end to this discrimination. I'm going to have to get on some email lists to keep up to date with what is happening.

I'm glad to see SB and Carebear with you (and your wonderful partner, Omomk ;). My feeling is that while state recognition of gay unions seems impossible in the short term, in the long term it will be inevitable. It's just that I want to see this happen in MY lifetime. I really don't want to leave it to my children to overturn all of these "marriage amendments".

[kellyg]

ooops. sorry. it was Bugs, not Carebear that was with you. I should have checked the captions before hitting post.

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

Perfectly put Jenn-style.

[gary]

Funny, seems to ME that some gay folks just want to get married and have a 'traditional marriage' for themselves!

[Amy]

When did marriage become the foundation of our society?

I thought the entire basis of our society was founded on freedom, expression and the obliteration of oppression?

Why shouldn't those gay folks be able to get married and have a traditional marriage and have children and embark on the Great Almighty American Dream? Why must those gay folks live in the shadows of government, behind the locked gates of "traditional" marriage simply because of whom they love? Why can't you patriotic people fight for THEIR rights as American citizens? Do they not pay taxes, serve in our military to provide YOU with YOUR freedom? Teach your children? Handle your money? What makes them any less deserving?

What makes them shunned to civil unions when the rest of America can enjoy the dream of marriage?

If it is because of religion, it's time to reexamine what our country was founded on. Because I'm pretty sure it was freedom and not staunchly adhering to traditional Christian politics.

When it comes to marriage, America should be the first place to stir up tradition.

[Jen on the Edge]

*standing ovation*

I applaud you for marching and for writing that letter.

[Lori]

That gave me goosebumps. Good for you guys. I wanted to go here in town, but had a sick little one and my husband was working.

[Mrs. G.]

Good woman you.

[Green Girl]

I'm so proud of you & your daughter for taking your stand to the streets! Way to go !

[Janet]

I love the sign, "I am str8t but do not h8". That was an awesome letter, Jenn, I hope it does get published!

[phd in yogurtry]

Hooray for you attending! We did too. I'll be posting about it. I could have written your same letter, except I do have loved ones and friends who are gay. Makes no matter. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

[kcinnova]

I'm guessing that took some guts on SB's part. There are probably kids at her school who would make negative comments about her participation in the parade.

[Suzy]

I've been waiting for 8 yrs for people to march against the Iraq War, like they did for Vietnam. And which ultimately helped stop the war and make Lyndon Johnson not run again because he couldn't stop it.

Its sadly too late to march after the fact. All you can do is go thru political and judicial channels. And the fact is that there are more tradtionally minded people than we thought.

[HIlary]

Good for you and your daughter. I hope it helps. I think it's silly to offer up a "civil union" for gay marriage so that it doesn't interfere with what has been deemed traditional marriage. With divorce rate so high, it's a bit of a joke to place marriage on such a pedestal anyway. In Canada, marriage was legally redefined to include gay marriages among heterosexual unions. Straight marriages haven't suffered any further for this inclusion.

[Jason]

The fact that you feel so strongly about this, and you act upon it, and you don't have any other gay friends besides me (and we haven't yet met in person) speaks volumes and volumes. When someone is close personally to a gay person it instantly becomes a completely different ball game than for those who don't really have a homosexual person close to them.

So kudos to you!

Notice I said that we haven't met "yet"!

[Just Jamie]

Sweet!

[Amy the Mom]

Good for you-all of you!

[Don Mills Diva]

That's a fantastic letter. The whole Prop 8 thing looks shocking from here in Toronto where gay marriage is completely legal and not hugely controversial. My feeling is it is obviously coming for everyone, unfortunately it's just coming a little slower than it should in some parts of North Ameriac and that's a shame.

[debbie]

I am seriously sitting here with goosebumps on my arms...these are the times that I truly wish I were "home"...I miss how passionate people are about things...that so many people..straight and gay alike...would get out there and try to change the rules.
I'm so proud of you and your daughter and friends and everyone else who was out there.
Your letter needs to be published!!!

[Helen]

NICE! WELL DONE!!!

My problem is those who talk about 'traditional marriage' have been married more than once!

[Angela]

Great for marching
and I hope your letter gets published

[JCK]

This post made me teary. The letter is so good, Jenn. So good. If they don't publish it, send it to the LA Times!

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

You are on the blogroll of peeps today:

http://blogthismom.blogspot.com/2008/11/shout-out-to-my-peeps.html