Spouting Off

In several places lately (on and off the web) I've heard it opined that as long as teenagers aren't doing drugs, having sex, and are passing their classes with C's you should be happy and get off their cases.

Umm, I'm thinking that's a pretty damn low bar you're setting there. Really? Just no drugs? Mouthing off and not contributing to the family via chores is okay with you? Barely scraping by in school lets them keep their MySpace and cell phone privileges?

Can I just say, "Hell, NO!" I think a lot more of my kids than that and would never do them the disservice of being such a lazy parent that I let them get away with that crap.

It's not as lengthy as my usual rants, but I feel better having said it.

Comments

[Jessica Bern]

I coached a soccer team and there were three sets of parents who decided it was okay to ignore the rules and lie. Some role models these people, I only ask they keep their kids a far distance from my own. Kids deserve better (parents)

[Little Miss Sunshine State]

How do these parents think their kids will grow up to be decent adults?

Do they realize some colleges are only accepting 50% of the kids that apply?
I have worked in retail with 20-somethings that have NO work ethic. They think someone is going to pay them to stand around and look pretty. They get all huffy if you ask them to do a little manual labor.

I'm with you on the HELL NO!

[Gina]

I couldn't agree with you more! My kids know that I expect a lot more than that.. they also know that if they decide not to live up to my expectations things will get very bad very fast.

[Gina]

Oh.. and in all fairness I should point out that I still didn't manage to keep my oldest away from drugs, sex, bad grades, and a bunch of other things.. but even that fact doesn't give the three younger kids a pass.

[JCK]

And this is why you are such a great mom.

How sad that people feel that way. So ambivalent about their own children and preparing them for life and being good people in it...

[allmycke]

It's not always the "wordiness" of a piece that makes it good - you said it all very succinctly.
Too often I meet teenagers who seem to think that someone owes them a living, who think they have a right to expect being served and serviced, who think that life should all be about fun...
Now, who gave them those ideas??? Could it be that their parents (that's us!) got our priorities messed up along the way?

[Cheri @ Blog This Mom!]

Teenagers not having sex? They have those?

[kcinnova]

Someday my kids will thank me. Right now? Probably not. Too bad!

As you already know, I'm with you on this 100%.

[Deb D]

There were days that my kids wished I was one of "those" parents but in truth not too many I don't think. Kids tend to live up to expectations. Expect little and they will achieve little.

[Suzanne]

I agree completly. My girls have both lost phone and computer use until the grades are brought up. No drugs or mouthing....chores are mandatory.
High standards and discipline are the best things we can do for our kids. ;)

[gary]

Seems to me that your kids work hard and are good people, and that is a great start!!!! Didn't you say your older son won a scholarship to college? C's would not have done that!

[Marie]

My boys heard at an early age, "I am your MOTHER, I deserve a little better than that." I think that any mother, even the really lousy ones, deserve a level of respect (like not having their kids call them names). My kids are more than welcome to disagree with me, but they have to do it politely. And still probably do it my way at this point, unless they have a really good argument!

[Manic Mommy]

Set the bar low and you'll get an adult who achieves little and expects much.

Personally, I'm expecting more out of my children.

[Professor J]

You are a good mother.

[Fannie]

AMEN! Children will rise to the level that is expected of them. Low expectations does no one any favors.

[Heidi]

Parents lowered expectations of their children sometimes leave me speechless. And you are right...it comes down to laziness. Each kid has a unique personality and needs a different style of parenting. I am appalled by some children's lack of respect for their parents. But I know who to blame....

[Smalltown Mom]

Good rant, Jenn. C's won't get them into college, for one thing. Bad attitudes won't get them jobs, etc.

[apathy lounge]

Preach it, my sister! Preach it!

[Mary Alice]

I know...I actually had a school counselor express surprise that my children have the grades and the work ethic they do in spite of the fact that they have had to move schools seven times. Apparently, if you move often that is a "get of keeping up your grades" pass in his opinion. My opinion is you do the best job you can in spite of difficult circumstances....or I'll make your circumstances difficult. You don’t need to spend time on facebook if it is interfering with time you need to study and do well.

[Janet]

And this is what makes you such a good Mom :-)

[Grandy]

What she said!!! You tell them Jenn!!!

::Grandy holding up her "Rock the Parenting" sign and waiving her fist::

[MamaHenClucks]

Hear Hear! I always think that A) Kids with boundaries and expectations know that they are loved and B) Kids perform to about half the height the bar is set at, so if you want good kids who are respectful and kind and honest, then set it high and see what they can achieve. I want soooo much more from my kids than that. Sooo much more.

[Lori]

Amen! It's hard, though, to be that parent that does expect more, because so many of their friends aren't expected to do more.

[CC]

I'm totally with you. And I'm like that at school too, "You WHAT????" I don't think so mister!

[Minneota Matron]

The bar for my 12 year old? A's and the explainable B here and there. Community service, putting self before others and eyes on the prize- college. Well said!!

[Kristen]

Expect less and you will receive less, far less.
I think my bar is quite high, and purposefully so.

[jenrantsraves]

The problem is that everyone wants to be their kids best friend, instead of having the courage to be their parent first. Parents have no idea how to discipline, and it is only going to get worse every generation, because we aren't giving children a sense of responsibility. A lot of parents have to work so hard, that when they are around their kids the last thing they want to do is fight with them. I understand that, but they are doing them a huge disservice in the long run.

[Coast Rat]

Good for you for not endorsing mediocrity in your children! Someone once said that people in your life will pretty much perform as you expect them to, especially children, your children. Expect little, and that's probably what you will get. Expect more, and that's what you will probably get, too. Encouragement and love go a long way, too.
Good job, Mom!

[Angela]

I think there are many lazy parents out there.
Parenting isn't supose to be easy

[kate]

i'm with you. raise the bar, man.

[HIlary]

You're a good Mom with the right stuff. It's a short comment.. but it was a short rant. ;)

[Kathy H]

Set the line closer and if the kids cross it, they won't probably go as far as they would otherwise.

Are kids in your town still on MySpace? Everyone in ours has abandoned it for Facebook.

[shelia]

Yep. The bar is too low, and they KNOW it. I talk to these kids every day!!! They KNOW they can do more!

[The Girl Next Door]

Adding an AMEN to your HELL NO!! IT's hard, but I'm convinced it's worth it.