Toddlers Versus Teenagers: Keeping Them Safe

Note: I am not a panicky, fearful person. However, I do have a mind like a steel trap when it comes to remembering every story I've ever heard about a child or teen getting injured or dying by accidental means. I also think that if you know the risk you'll be more likely to avoid it. So I have a family and friends reputation of It may be that I'm known as They call me the Encyclopedia of Tragic Events. So, how do we keep them safe?

Toddlers: You watch them, as in you don't take your eyes off of them. They may have thought they were alone, but I was always watching them.

Teenagers: You can't watch them all the time. It would be bad if you did (for sure you wouldn't like what you saw sometimes). You have to hope that they have internalized the Encyclopedia of Tragic Events.

Toddlers: The dangers are things that can be controlled, for the most part. You have to be vigilant for buckets with standing water (as little as 1/4" inch!), you have to make sure their hot dogs and baby carrots are cut length-wise, not cross-wise (perfect as a plug for a toddler esophagus), yes I was the co-op food police you must make sure all balloons are mylar (you did know a latex balloon can pop and they can inhale a small piece which will cover their airway, right?), of course you want to start the helmet habit when they first hop on a big wheel, life vests must be the special ones that hold small children upright . . .  I could go on all day.

Teenagers: The danger is everywhere and the scariest part is that much of it comes from the teenagers themselves. They just don't have a lot of common sense sometimes. My response to this is to try and cover every eventuality with my cautionary tales and to make sure my kids see firsthand the effects of other kids' stupidity. To this end I will take them to visit the roadside memorials of local teens killed by speeding or drinking and driving or falling off skateboards while not wearing helmets. You do your best and then something like this happens to your friend's child and you know that a lot of keeping them safe comes down to just being lucky.

There are a lot of things about child-rearing that get easier as your children get older. I'd have to say that your worries increase exponentially when they hit the teenage years, though. Sometimes I long for the days when I was (or at least I thought I was) in control.

Comments

[kcinnova]

I'm so sorry for this girl & her family -- and all the teens involved.

Teenagers (and toddlers) have been known to have the common sense of a duck. Parenting is not easy!

[Susan]

Oh man...one of the things there is no way to prepare for. I think I need to go hug my girls...

[phd in yogurtry]

Oh dear, that poor girl and everyone involved. Who knows, maybe she was trying to get out of the way but skin tight jeans and four inch stilletos prevented her moving fast enough (thank you, Madison Avenue).

This reminds me of a woman I sat next to at a swimming pool. She moved in very jerky fashion, it took five minutes to walk from one end of the pool to the other. Her story: she was stepping out of a car that was in park, but the driver had her foot on the brake, and when she released the brake, the car rocked just slightly enough to knock the woman off balance. Down she went and conked her head on the pavement. 100% disability thereafter.

Life is a tight rope walk.

[Mary Alice]

Really, sometimes when you write...I get a little freaked out by how very similiar we are.

[Reluctant Blogger]

Yes, you are very like me. I always played it cool when my children were toddlers - appeared to give them a lot of space and freedom ie I let them do things that looked dangerous - but yes, I watched them like a hawk. It never ceases to amaze me how some parents do not - their toddlers can be chucking sand in each other's face, running around with sticks and poking others in the eye or heading for the road and they have no idea at all!

haha it was good to get that out of my system!

But yes, now I cannot possibly watch my older ones all the time. But like you, I talk about"other children' and what they get up to and what happens to them. I use that not just for dangerous things but for other behaviours I think are unsuitable. They do rather give me "the look" though which says "oh no, here she goes again, another tale from the Annals of Mum". But touch wood, so far it seems to have worked.

But we cannot prepare them for everything. Terrible things will sometimes happen. That poor girl.

[Suzanne]

My thoughts will be with this young girl. So sad.
You are so right on this Jenn. When they are little we just have to WATCH them. When they are teens we can't be there all the time. I also bring attention to all the bad stuff that happens to both my girls...just to let them know all the dangers out there.
Oh, I would love to keep them in a safety bubble!

[Shelley]

I can so relate to this. I can never really sleep soundly until I know everyone is home at night, you know? Especially the one with the car. That story was scary because just when you think you know everything that they should be careful of/watch out for/NOT DO, they come up with something new, like lying down in a parking lot. The scary part of that is not the actual act itself, but that it could be anything, anywhere, anytime.

[Manic Mommy]

How awful. Try as you might, you just can't cover every eventuality. Teenagers and Toddlers personify Chaos Theory.

PS - I was the mom who broke their Cheerios in half.

[jenrantsraves]

I definitely think that it must be harder to raise a teenager than a toddler. It will be hard for me to give up that feeling of being in control. Luckily, I have many years to hammer the right things into his head!

[Memarie Lane]

Gawd, I'm supposed to cut up my kids' hot dogs???

[Lori]

Oh goodness, I hope that girl is ok. I know what you mean, though. I was just talking about this very thing w/ a friend. I get much more nervous with my 14yo than I do for the little ones.

[mrs. g.]

I long for those dictatorial days as well.

[CC]

Stop scaring me. Aaaaaackkkkkk!

[Green Girl]

and here I thought I was entering a safer time as a mother...

[Marie]

The fact that my oldest turns thirTEEN in 5 months literally just hit me yesterday. I knew I wanted to tell him the story of the kids riding on the trunk of a VERY slow moving car, that braked and one boy went through the back window. I will add this to that conversation.

Never lie down in any parking lot.

[Trooper Thorn]

There is no danger for teenagers during the morning as they are in bed until noon. However, the evening danger is much larger than with toddlers who are not yet driving.

Thanks for your comments on my blog. I'm glad you have recovered from your temporary personality change.

[Fannie]

I'm sorry for the girl of course - but here's what gets to me; SHE WAS LAYING DOWN IN A PARKING LOT! Where are these kids' brains some days?

[Baby Favorite]

Oh, I know. I have that same kind of encyclopedia of tragic events vault in my brain.

Eleven years ago, my older brother (44 yrs old at the time) was hit as a pedestrian by a speeding driver. Totally not his fault, either. And to this day, as a result, he resides in a neuro care home in the L.A. area. He can't speak, walk, or even eat. It's amazing he only spent 6 months in a vegetative state after coming out of his month-long coma--knowing the extent of his brain injury.

That being said, my level of paranoia went through the ROOF from that moment on. I had a barely one-year-old at the time of his accident, so every moment of his, and my daughter's, life has been monitored and worried about to an extreme. It's really no way for me to live, but what can I do? I now know how quickly life can change. It's both a blessing and a curse.

[Suzy]

Here's your book pitch:

The Encyclopedia of Tragic Events:
How to keep your kids safe

[Larue]

My daughter did a cartwheel with a pole in her mouth and gave herself a partial tonsillectomy when she was a 1st grader. And where was I during this pivotal moment? In the same room. I had turned around, hung up some clothes in the closet and turned back around. 5 seconds max. She could have hit her carotid artery and died and there would have been nothing I could have done about it.

I am still paranoid to some extent, but it completely made me aware that sometimes there is just nothing you can do - that things will happen.

[Kellan]

YES - it definitely getts harder the older they get. You never believe this until the time comes.

Take care - Kellan

[HIlary]

I always swore that I wouldn't make the stupid mistakes. And thankfully, I didn't. I never left them unattended, never answered a phone when they were in the tub, never stepped away from the change table and never neglected to install child-proof locks. Now my older one is gearing up for a career in the military. And I can't do a damn thing about it. I still want those child-proof locks to protect him.

[~annie]

You are so right!
And December 11 must have had some really mis-aligned stars...
http://www.newsvirginian.com/wnv/news/local/article/suv_pins_teen_in_hardees_lot/32692/

[JCK]

That's a horrible tragedy.

So many scary things ahead...