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January 18, 2009


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Whew! BPD is a tough one! I've read a lot about it and narcissism (my mom is a narcissist!), and both of these illnesses wreak havoc on families.

I'm sorry for the suffering your sister endured and for the suffering she caused your family.

May your family continue to heal!

mike golch

I'm sorry to read the pain in this post.My mom was taken by cancer in 2003,she had lived a full life.and got to see my sister give her grandchildren. At least one of the three of us could.

By the Grace of God healing comes to all.


Oh, Jenn. I remember reading about your sister's passing. I know it was a sad, devastating time for you and your family. But, like you said, it has been a time to heal. Perhaps with time comes understanding and acceptance. Perhaps it just gives us time to let the scars fade . . . if even a little.


I know how tough it is to deal with a loved one with mental illness. Your strength and your willingness to love your sister (with conditions that needed to be set, I'm sure) is an inspiration to me.


Jenn, that was a powerful letter. They SHOULD publish it.


A powerful and heart-felt letter. Kudos to you, Jenn, for turning your pain into awareness for others.

Jen on the Edge



God bless you, Jenn. Give yourself a big hug from me to you.


not sure words will be adequate but I'll send a hug anyway

Manic Mommy

May your family's healing continue.

Mental illness is an isidious disease that affects everyone with whom it comes in contact.


I am so sorry for you and your family. All of you will be in my prayers.


What a great way to remember your sister.


What a great letter...they should publish it. I never read that post about your Sister....really, really painful for you. What a loss for your family...and hers.
Sending good thoughts your way,


Jen I lived with someone for 14 years with BiPolar disorder. He did something unspeakable to my family. I was a psych major in college I should have seen the signs and known that his mania and depression could send him to the darkest pits of hell. I just didn't think he would take us with him. Yes I learned that mental illness doesn't just effect the inflicted, it effects those around them.

I'm sorry for your loss. Your sister is at peace and that is a good thing.

green girl

I cannot imagine how difficult--mental diseases are as grueling on other people as anything else.


It's so hard to realize that a death can promote healing. I'm sorry for your loss and for the damage your sister caused her children.


Does Time have an online comments section like NY mag? I've noticed they post more online letters than regular ones. Try both?


Beautifully written. The have to print it!

Baby Favorite

Oh, Jenn, I am so sorry about your sister--and having to deal with that awful anniversary. I know so well what that is like.

My sister was bi-polar and took her own life at 49 years old. Mental illness is so devastating, both to the sufferer and those who love them.

My thoughts are with you.


That post about your sister's death was the first I ever read of yours, I think. Hope this year brings a little more healing.


well done for informing others on something that you have personally experienced. therefore, it was not all totally in vain.
it may help someone else.

Amy the Mom

I wish my sister could benefit from that therapist's help. Great article...if nothing else it give me a little more insight into my own sister's illnes.

stephanie (bad mom)

I am so sorry for you, your family, for your sister, and that I didn't know you last year when you were grieving in my neighborhood.

You have done significant things in the aftermath. *blessings

The Mom Bomb

Wonderful and heartfelt letter. Messages like yours help people see beyond the stigma and seek help.


Some letters HAVE to be written, sent in and published for others to read... THAT one is one of those.
Healing takes time...this will help the process.

phd in yogurtry

When I get a whiff of BPD, I refer to therapists doing Linehan's DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). Excellent clinical work. I've got her books.

phd in yogurtry

Oh, and thanks for the Time mag link. I'm always looking for good "plain english" reading material for those I'm seeing in recovery from a BPD loved one.

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