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June 29, 2010

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Brightside Susan

I have always wished for that kid of friendship and I can't imagine having it and then losing it. I am so sorry about this but glad you found some solice in the company of the Women's Colony.

busy bee suz

The bigger thing to do would be to let YOU know why it ended. I agree with you on that.

This Jodi Picoult book sounds great too.
Looking forward to my next cupcake read.

Suzy

I have walked away from many, MANY, MANY friendships. I walked away from my best friend in 2008. After telling me over and over and OVER that he would take a bullet for me, when I asked him to come to India with me (with me paying his airfare)for a surgery, he declined because he had auditions for pilot season.

I asked him to go for 5 days.

I guess he could only take a bullet for me when it wasnt pilot season.

A year and a few months later he left a message on my vm saying he had been a "bad soul mate best friend." He also said he had quit show business. 7 months after I asked him to go to India.

I emailed him and said never to DARKEN MY DOORWAY AGAIN. I felt no need to hash it all out because I knew by the vm that he still thought he was right not to go with me.

Asthmagirl

Because we moved so much as I was growing up, I missed the life long friendships bus! But there have been friendships I've walked away from over the years because they were unhealthy. I'd rather be happily self contained than a convenience. I have a few healthy friendships today, not close, but they feel good. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a bosom buddy.

Yo is Me

that was a beautiful book. beautiful. i love/hate her books. they're so tough, but so beautiful. i've read them all.

i think i commented at the women's colony about this... and i've been on both sides of it. i've side stepped the confrontation because i felt that everything had already been said. nothing would be resolved, everything was out in the open, on the table. discussing it wouldn't have done anything to better anyone's "side".

i know how this feels. it's grief. allow yourself to grieve.

green girl in Wisconsin

Ah, I've done the confrontation when it's about an ISSUE. If it's just a "we've grown apart" thing, it seemed pretty natural to let things die their natural death.

jenrantsraves

I will definitely have to read the book. I will also have to email you about my new bff dilemma, after reading this post.

yogurt

I have walked away from a friend in the past. Was exhausted and worn out from worrying about his choices. Different comfort level with risk. With financial decisions. With romantic choices. Not my place to judge and disapprove, I guess is why I kept quiet. And because I don't want to hurt feelings, or confront hurt feelings and likely indignant feelings given my reasons. So I quietly skulked away.

kcinnova

I have lost BFFs thanks to multiple moves. And I still miss those friends, but there just doesn't seem to be any going back. We still love each other, but we move in different worlds now. *sigh*

suburbancorrespondent

Definitely your friend's issues drove the break up - although I don't think that knowing that makes it hurt any less.

Janet

I love the blogging can help a person :-)

Btw...I got the book! Thank you!!!

Deb D

I have the book - haven't read it yet but it's slated for my holidays.

Wenderina

I'm sorry to learn of your lost friendship. I always envyed what you had (even though I have a lot of it myself, but spread across many people) in that one foremost friend. When I read your blog I always feel you would be the most fantastic friend to have.

I know my mother, after my father died, changed many of her friends...and when I asked her why she didn't have a clear answer..I think she found it painful to be amongst all those happy couples that had shared so much with my mom and dad in better years. I have no idea if this is linked with your situation or not, but wanted to share that little insight.

klcrab

I still remember the incredible sadness I felt when I realized I could not stop life from changing people and relationships. I suppose in retrospect I was growing up, but oh how I missed those precious times. There is now more armor, but I stay more present in relationships- holding them with an open hand, lightly so that they will not feel pressured.

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