I had been composing a light, lovely, reflective post in my mind today, but I will not be writing that tonight.
Instead I will be screaming into a pillow. For hours on end.
I got a letter today that alerted me today to a problem with Danger Boy’s transcript—he was missing a grade. He had re-taken a class that he failed (Advanced World History) first semester of his freshmen year. I’m a big “learn from experience” person—I knew he was falling behind, but I let him keep digging himself a big hole and so he would see how much easier it is to keep up in the first place rather than make up work later. Besides, colleges look at your 10-12 grades, so freshman year is the best time to learn a lesson.
It was all good; he learned his lesson and re-took the class in an after-school program—arranged by his counselor.
Except. The after-school program never sent the grade. And the school failed to alert his parents to the fact that he was missing the grade until now. I never reviewed his entire transcript with a magnifying class because I know he’s been taking more than enough classes to meet his a-g requirements (he’s exceeded the minimum number of years required in every category) and I assumed* that every class he took was on his transcript.
Which means:
An incomplete transcript has been sent to the NCAA and to the colleges he’s applied to so far. Will this make a difference? I don’t know. I’ll be calling the NCAA tomorrow. If he had been going early-decision somewhere this would be a total catastrophe.
What really frosts me:
The counselor says she talked to DB last April and told him the grade was missing. He doesn’t remember the conversation at all. I have no idea whether or not they spoke (he’s a good kid, but he’s still a 17-year old boy and if you’ve ever had one you’ll know what I mean by that), but in any event I think she was totally remiss in not following up with an email or call to a parent. He’s a minor—his parents are legally responsible for him, so we need to be informed about things that involve him—especially something this high-stakes.
So (in her version) the counselor had a conversation with a 17-year old boy in April and then, when she hadn’t heard anything for over 6 months, she sent a letter to his parents? And that strikes her as the proper and responsible way to do her job? I disagree.
One phone call to the administrator of the after-school program has the mistake corrected and I will be picking up and mailing corrected transcripts tomorrow.
*I guess there’s a reason that they say that assuming makes an ass out of you and me. When will I learn?
What do you think? Am I wrong that the school had a responsibility to inform not just the minor student but also his parents in a situation such as this?
If I was a helicopter parent this never would have happened—there’s definitely some irony there.
It was the school's responsibility to notify you of this discrepancy. I've had two 17yo boys and I know exactly what you are talking about!
I'm still waiting for EB to learn the hard way that it's better to keep up on your studies. He's a senior. *sigh*
Posted by: kcinnova | November 01, 2010 at 10:30 PM
She definitely should have notified you. No 17 year old boy is going to really consider what actions need to be made after meeting with their high school counselor. The fact that she waited six months to follow-up just makes me think that she never did explain it to your son, so now she's trying to cover her own butt for taking so long to catch the mistake. Hope it doesn't have any negative impact on your son's college plans!
Posted by: Jj. | November 01, 2010 at 11:10 PM
Yes, she absolutely should have notified you and your husband. A conversation (that cannot be verified) is unprofessional and out of line. Can I say that I "smell a rat?" I hope this gets cleared up and does not affect his offers. And, I love that you gave him the opportunity to learn a lesson while still guiding him. That is the type of parenting I most respect.
I am so sorry and will truly hope for the best.
Posted by: Denise | November 01, 2010 at 11:26 PM
Having been the mother of a 17 yr old son, I agree that you should have been notified of the missing grade.
I would hope high school counselors don't play that loosely with a student's records, knowing that college acceptance could be riding on it.
Posted by: Little Miss Sunshine State | November 02, 2010 at 12:32 AM
You said it - incompetence!
Posted by: allmycke | November 02, 2010 at 04:23 AM
Giant echo here - this is ridiculous! I do talk to my students about their school issues ... and then I immediately contact their parents or guardians because, as you said, I've met teenagers before. Good luck in fixing this infuriating error ASAP!
Posted by: lanes | November 02, 2010 at 06:06 AM
I think it's pretty common sense that they should have contacted you. But I have had so many scenarios like this getting my three girls through high school that I'm not shocked.
Posted by: Diane | November 02, 2010 at 08:40 AM
The guidance counselor is supposed to be on top of these things and not let them slip by. This is THEIR job.
The same thing could happen to many of us Jenn...I hope this does not affect his NCAA eligibility.
Posted by: busy bee suz | November 02, 2010 at 09:08 AM
I got agitated just reading your post. When I think of the millions (okay, 10's) of things I have to constantly monitor just for myself, (WHEN DID THEY RAISE MY CAR INSURANCE AND WHY?)I can't imagine having to follow up on kids and their stuff.
And yes, the school should have BYPASSED talking to DB and gone straight to his parents. I remember high school and I can assure you my teachers didn't waste time telling the students anything if they wanted a good result.
Posted by: Suzy | November 02, 2010 at 09:19 AM
It seems to me that she should have followed up in April. She works with teens so she should have known to follow up. At least it's fixable. A lot of work, but fixable.
Posted by: Slow Panic | November 02, 2010 at 10:21 AM
I agree with you completely!!
Posted by: Kelly, The Glass Dragonfly | November 02, 2010 at 10:49 AM
Yes, she was right to talk to DB first, but she definitely should have followed up with you and your husband. Letting you know after transcripts went out is an egregious error. I hope it doesn't affect his NCAA eligibility, but I'm willing to bet they've seen similar incidents before and it won't adversely affect your son.
Posted by: Mandy | November 02, 2010 at 11:03 AM
We are all in agreement here.
Posted by: Smalltown Mom | November 02, 2010 at 11:11 AM
I think you are getting the gist of this - that counselor dropped the ball BIG TIME!
Posted by: Chrisitna | November 02, 2010 at 11:29 AM
This should have been followed up immediately. WTF? GARGH!
Posted by: green girl in wisconsin | November 02, 2010 at 11:49 AM
Any 17 year old, not just boys! I'm on my fourth . . .
Posted by: Marms37 | November 02, 2010 at 11:52 AM
while the Mom in me screams along side you, (insert small but here....) schools are big places and everyone of them is slashing away at jobs to reduce costs. (Bad grammar, sorry) So while I find fault with the counselor for not checking back sooner, I understand how it happens. In our district in a different state our counselor is also now our full time librarian at the high school- I don't hold out much hope of helpful scholarship info. sigh
Posted by: klcrab | November 02, 2010 at 05:03 PM
OMG this is a nightmare of mine! Not about my son (he's 5) but me. I am 40 and have a graduate degree and still dream sometimes that it is discovered I was missing a grade in highschool and it will all be taken away. Stress dream much?
Posted by: Becca | November 02, 2010 at 05:40 PM
Yup, echoing along w the majority. Her first call should have been w d/b but swiftly followed by a call or email to you.
Is it being followed up within the school?
Posted by: trash | November 02, 2010 at 05:54 PM
If that school is like ours, each counselor is in charge of HUNDREDS of students, so I can see how this slid by. Unfortunately we parents do need to hover, at least through high school and college app. time.
Then we go to stealth mode while they are in college ;-)
Posted by: JFS in IL | November 02, 2010 at 08:11 PM
Oh, sorry to hear that! Telling a 17 year old boy something is definitely not enough. (Heck my 45 year old husband forgets conversations 5 minutes after having them). You should have been told at the time she told him.
Is it wrong that I am glad you are going through these things now, so I can learn from your infinite wisdom and experience? ; )
Oh, by the way, throwing pillows against the wall while screaming is even better.
Posted by: Jenrantsraves | November 02, 2010 at 08:25 PM
As far as the NCAA is concerned, they need a "final" transcript showing date of graduation - so if the grade appears on that, you should be okay as far as his eligibility is concerned. It's supposed to be sent directly from the school, but if you go ahead and decide to send the interim transcript, just make sure it's in a sealed school envelope.
If you try and call them, prepare to be on hold for a l-o-n-g time. I had to call them in late September, and was on hold for 85 minutes (yes, I counted ... ) But the person I spoke with was very knowledgeable and very helpful - so it was worth the wait.
Counselor should have followed up with you immediately after speaking with DB in the first place ... seriously remiss in my book.
Posted by: Annie | November 02, 2010 at 08:56 PM
The other applicable saying? The Devil's in the Details Jenn.
Posted by: wenderina | November 02, 2010 at 09:17 PM
I don't know about informing you right away-- but six months is far too long to wait. Three months at the absolute outside at most, because there's letting them be adults and learning their lessons, and then there's missing things like this and also the fact that yes-- they are minors and OTHER PEOPLE ARE PAYING THE BILLS.
Ahem.
Posted by: bipolarlawyercook | November 02, 2010 at 09:30 PM
While I agree that many school budget cutbacks can affect the workload of the counselors, how long does it take to write an e-mail just to say I had a meeting with your son, please talk to him about it?
Posted by: Brightside-Susan | November 02, 2010 at 09:34 PM
For just such an infraction (and a multitude of others) Shaggy Haired Boy's counselor was "not invited back" last year.
Yes, it was her DUTY to notify you in a timely manner PRIOR to the summer (so that if truly missing, the class could be made up. What could you have possibly done NOW if that were the case? Yes, our kids are bridging that gap between child and responsible adult, but they still need the adults around them to do their "jobs" adequately.
PS...Algebra2 was our fall on your face lesson, and it was a HARD one! No helicoptering here either!
Posted by: Bramble | November 03, 2010 at 08:53 AM
I haven't seen any help from the councelors at all at my daughter's high school. Apparently you have to make appts way in advance to go in and see them and they don't give much advice.
Posted by: mom taxi julie | November 03, 2010 at 04:26 PM
As I like to say – If other people did THEIR jobs the way I do MY job the world would be a better place. ;)
Posted by: Fannie | November 04, 2010 at 05:25 PM
I don't have teenagers but... I would think that if the conversation happened then DB would have said "Oh yeah, I made up that class in such and such program." And she could have gotten said grade that was needed. Maybe teen boys don't work like that. I am betting the conversation never happened.... Yes I think she should have notified you much sooner.
Posted by: Heather | November 04, 2010 at 09:45 PM
fioricet imitrexwestward fioricet
These roots from foundations ply poor education more obvious and open to sections ties rapidly destabilizing a stronger technicality in differs to water-borne architecture.
Posted by: discreet fioricet | November 05, 2010 at 01:02 AM
School definitely had the responsibility. Glad it got worked out. Sounds like a nerve wracker!
Posted by: JCK | November 07, 2010 at 01:24 AM
No doubt you were correct in your frustration. There is a line where the communication is between counselor and student .. but there should be a follow up with the parents when it has to do with the student's FUTURE!!!
Posted by: Brandt! | November 11, 2010 at 03:42 PM