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November 01, 2010


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It was the school's responsibility to notify you of this discrepancy. I've had two 17yo boys and I know exactly what you are talking about!

I'm still waiting for EB to learn the hard way that it's better to keep up on your studies. He's a senior. *sigh*


She definitely should have notified you. No 17 year old boy is going to really consider what actions need to be made after meeting with their high school counselor. The fact that she waited six months to follow-up just makes me think that she never did explain it to your son, so now she's trying to cover her own butt for taking so long to catch the mistake. Hope it doesn't have any negative impact on your son's college plans!


Yes, she absolutely should have notified you and your husband. A conversation (that cannot be verified) is unprofessional and out of line. Can I say that I "smell a rat?" I hope this gets cleared up and does not affect his offers. And, I love that you gave him the opportunity to learn a lesson while still guiding him. That is the type of parenting I most respect.
I am so sorry and will truly hope for the best.

Little Miss Sunshine State

Having been the mother of a 17 yr old son, I agree that you should have been notified of the missing grade.

I would hope high school counselors don't play that loosely with a student's records, knowing that college acceptance could be riding on it.


You said it - incompetence!


Giant echo here - this is ridiculous! I do talk to my students about their school issues ... and then I immediately contact their parents or guardians because, as you said, I've met teenagers before. Good luck in fixing this infuriating error ASAP!


I think it's pretty common sense that they should have contacted you. But I have had so many scenarios like this getting my three girls through high school that I'm not shocked.

busy bee suz

The guidance counselor is supposed to be on top of these things and not let them slip by. This is THEIR job.
The same thing could happen to many of us Jenn...I hope this does not affect his NCAA eligibility.


I got agitated just reading your post. When I think of the millions (okay, 10's) of things I have to constantly monitor just for myself, (WHEN DID THEY RAISE MY CAR INSURANCE AND WHY?)I can't imagine having to follow up on kids and their stuff.

And yes, the school should have BYPASSED talking to DB and gone straight to his parents. I remember high school and I can assure you my teachers didn't waste time telling the students anything if they wanted a good result.

Slow Panic

It seems to me that she should have followed up in April. She works with teens so she should have known to follow up. At least it's fixable. A lot of work, but fixable.

Kelly, The Glass Dragonfly

I agree with you completely!!


Yes, she was right to talk to DB first, but she definitely should have followed up with you and your husband. Letting you know after transcripts went out is an egregious error. I hope it doesn't affect his NCAA eligibility, but I'm willing to bet they've seen similar incidents before and it won't adversely affect your son.

Smalltown Mom

We are all in agreement here.


I think you are getting the gist of this - that counselor dropped the ball BIG TIME!

green girl in wisconsin

This should have been followed up immediately. WTF? GARGH!


Any 17 year old, not just boys! I'm on my fourth . . .


while the Mom in me screams along side you, (insert small but here....) schools are big places and everyone of them is slashing away at jobs to reduce costs. (Bad grammar, sorry) So while I find fault with the counselor for not checking back sooner, I understand how it happens. In our district in a different state our counselor is also now our full time librarian at the high school- I don't hold out much hope of helpful scholarship info. sigh


OMG this is a nightmare of mine! Not about my son (he's 5) but me. I am 40 and have a graduate degree and still dream sometimes that it is discovered I was missing a grade in highschool and it will all be taken away. Stress dream much?


Yup, echoing along w the majority. Her first call should have been w d/b but swiftly followed by a call or email to you.

Is it being followed up within the school?


If that school is like ours, each counselor is in charge of HUNDREDS of students, so I can see how this slid by. Unfortunately we parents do need to hover, at least through high school and college app. time.

Then we go to stealth mode while they are in college ;-)


Oh, sorry to hear that! Telling a 17 year old boy something is definitely not enough. (Heck my 45 year old husband forgets conversations 5 minutes after having them). You should have been told at the time she told him.
Is it wrong that I am glad you are going through these things now, so I can learn from your infinite wisdom and experience? ; )
Oh, by the way, throwing pillows against the wall while screaming is even better.


As far as the NCAA is concerned, they need a "final" transcript showing date of graduation - so if the grade appears on that, you should be okay as far as his eligibility is concerned. It's supposed to be sent directly from the school, but if you go ahead and decide to send the interim transcript, just make sure it's in a sealed school envelope.

If you try and call them, prepare to be on hold for a l-o-n-g time. I had to call them in late September, and was on hold for 85 minutes (yes, I counted ... ) But the person I spoke with was very knowledgeable and very helpful - so it was worth the wait.

Counselor should have followed up with you immediately after speaking with DB in the first place ... seriously remiss in my book.


The other applicable saying? The Devil's in the Details Jenn.


I don't know about informing you right away-- but six months is far too long to wait. Three months at the absolute outside at most, because there's letting them be adults and learning their lessons, and then there's missing things like this and also the fact that yes-- they are minors and OTHER PEOPLE ARE PAYING THE BILLS.



While I agree that many school budget cutbacks can affect the workload of the counselors, how long does it take to write an e-mail just to say I had a meeting with your son, please talk to him about it?


For just such an infraction (and a multitude of others) Shaggy Haired Boy's counselor was "not invited back" last year.
Yes, it was her DUTY to notify you in a timely manner PRIOR to the summer (so that if truly missing, the class could be made up. What could you have possibly done NOW if that were the case? Yes, our kids are bridging that gap between child and responsible adult, but they still need the adults around them to do their "jobs" adequately.
PS...Algebra2 was our fall on your face lesson, and it was a HARD one! No helicoptering here either!

mom taxi julie

I haven't seen any help from the councelors at all at my daughter's high school. Apparently you have to make appts way in advance to go in and see them and they don't give much advice.


As I like to say – If other people did THEIR jobs the way I do MY job the world would be a better place. ;)


I don't have teenagers but... I would think that if the conversation happened then DB would have said "Oh yeah, I made up that class in such and such program." And she could have gotten said grade that was needed. Maybe teen boys don't work like that. I am betting the conversation never happened.... Yes I think she should have notified you much sooner.

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School definitely had the responsibility. Glad it got worked out. Sounds like a nerve wracker!


No doubt you were correct in your frustration. There is a line where the communication is between counselor and student .. but there should be a follow up with the parents when it has to do with the student's FUTURE!!!

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