Of Trips and Teens

So what does one do with a 16 and 17-year old when leaving town for a night? Conventional wisdom would tell you to never, ever leave them home alone. We’ve all seen the movies, right?

When I needed to go to Las Vegas for just a night—literally less than 24 hours—I had to decide what arrangements to make for Danger Boy and Social Butterfly. They both had things to do—practice, SAT prep class, that sort of thing. Since they both drive and have their own cars, that was no worry. It was really just overnight. If I’d really needed to I could have had them stay with friends, but DB in particular likes to sleep in his own bed—plus he wakes at what most other teens (and frankly, me too on the weekends) consider the crack of dawn—6:30ish.

After talking to both kids, we decided to leave them home alone. Both of them swore they would never have a party (they’ve seen the movies too) and we have fantastic neighbors to keep an eye on comings and goings. I did insist that they be home by 10 p.m. (legal curfew in San Diego), even though if we weren’t gone they wouldn’t need to be home until 11.

How did it go?

Swimmingly. Mostly.

Except for the part where Social Butterfly—en route home at 9:45 to make her curfew—happened upon a car accident involving a friend, stopped to make sure he was okay and ended up being questioned by the police, and asked to sit on the curb until they were sure everyone was telling the same story and they had legal ID. She didn’t get home until 10:30. Oh well.

I am really grateful to have such trustworthy kids—they don’t do everything right, but they do seem to do the important things right. The only thing I could find to complain about was they didn’t bring in the newspapers, and perhaps there were a few brownie crumbs from DB’s baking on the counter. I’ll take it.

Would you leave your teens home alone? Did your parents ever leave you home alone? How did that go?

Comments

[kcinnova]

Whew! I was worried there was going to be a fender bender to one of their cars. I'm pretty sure we have left a teen or two home alone (conveniently blocked memory at the moment) but all was well. Teens have also individually house/dog sat for others with no incidents (unless you count a dog getting into garbage).
My mom was gone quite a few weekends during my senior year but she always had a young adult from church stay over at our house. Sometimes it's not your own kids you have to worry about but that the word might get out to their friends and acquaintances (I've seen the movies, too).

[calamitysandra]

Yes, I would. But I am big on teaching responsibility, independence and live skills.
I would leave them home alone sooner than I would leave two of them together at home, but at 16 and 17 I would definitely have no problem with leaving them together. About 14 for one of my boys to stay alone.

But then, I left home at 16, so I might have a different outlook.

[Bramble]

Considering Shaggy Haired Boy (17) has been pushing his luck lately when we are home...not likely. He does have a level head on his shoulders most of the time, but it's that ONE time that scares the bejesus out of me. And as for his friends...well some of them are just fools! Was I left home alone, yes; but I was an entirely different kind of kid!

[janet]

My parents left my brother (almost 16) and me (almost 14) home for 4 weeks while they took a second honeymoon to Japan. But that was in 1973 in Parkersburg, WV, so I guess that makes a difference. It might have been another story if we had been city folk.

[Smalltown Mom]

I'd take brownie crumbs any day!

We left both kids alone for over a week when we went to Ireland 2 years ago. They would have been 18 and almost 13. They are trustworthy non-partiers and had no problems at all. We had two relatives who checked on them regularly, and I called them every day.

[Marms37]

My parents left me home alone on the weekends all the time. I never, ever had a party.

We left #2 and 3 in charge of 4 and 5 for a weekend once and while there wasn't a party, there were more people at the house than I would have liked and I never have gotten the full story out of them.

[Busy Bee Suz]

Your kids are just too smart to do anything bad. You know that....
We've never left our kids overnight alone. Yet. I totally trust them, but would be worried because we DON'T have any neighbors close by. {but we do have an alarm}
We left them on Saturday for 12 hours and I swear they were in the same spots when we got home as when we left!

I have many parties as a teen. And usually my Dad was in the middle of it.

[Bethany]

The first time the old people left me alone for the weekend, I was 13 and there was a party (of sorts) and alcohol poisoning... it was pretty ugly. Apparently I had seen the movies too but decided it all looked like so much fun.

The old people did not leave me home alone again until I was 16 and I had learned a thing or two so it was much more mellow.

[Mama Hen Em]

My parents left us home alone, but given the 15 year age difference between my oldest sister and youngest brother, we were too busy babysitting little siblings to even think about having a party! It's hard enough to keep small children from trashing a house, let alone party people! Perhaps that 15 year age span was on purpose for that reason....

[Slow Panic]

I can't remember how old I was the first time I stayed home alone but I was SCARED!!!

My oldest is very responsible -- I think I could trust him when he's a few years older -- but honestly I think he'd be to afraid to stay home alone until he's much much older.

My youngest? I'm so glad he's still only eight...

[Suzy]

My parents left my sister and I alone but we never had a party. No one did that kind of thing back when I was a teenager. We all came from "good families" or at least that was the thought of the day. Parties and trouble only happened to other people.

The moment I went to college overseas, lived in my parents' apartment in Paris, I had some serious parties!! AND PAID FOR IT DEARLY!!!

[allmycke]

I agree with Busy Bee Suz - your kids are too smart.
My own experiences in that department - is in a post on my blog in a bit.

[Heather]

When I was 16 I was left home alone (kind of- my grandma lived under is but was quite hands off) with my 13 and 7 year old sisters. I crashed the car going to fast around a corner (coming home from taking 7 year old to swimming lessons-see how responsible?). I just drove it limpingly home, and sweat bullets until they got home!

Then I made the money for the deductible to fix the car by taking care of 3 younger neighbor kids while their parents left them overnight.

[Life As I Know It]

yay for responsible kids!

yes, my parents left me alone a lot as a teenager, and I was not as responsible as your kids...

[Chrisitna]

Yes, my parents left me home alone - I was not a good girl every time ;-)

Yes, I didn't learn my own lesson and left my oldest home alone and have paid the price dearly for THAT mistake in judgment!

Youngest is only 14 so I have not faced that yet with him. Pretty sure I wont have to really as there are many more options for him than there were for his brother.

[MIME]

Totally depends on the kids and your neighborhood---I think parents usually have some intuition as to whether their kids are ready. We've left our 2 (older) teens home for the weekend many times, and I always tell the neighbors (in front of my kids) to watch out for them.

I do ask that they don't brings friends over because that's another layer of responsibility that's hard to manage.

[Jenrantsraves]

Glad it went so well. I don't really remember my parents leaving me home alone. I think it depends on the kid. Even if the kid was trustworthy, I would probably be checking in.

[apathy lounge]

My parents never left us home alone for an overnight. Never. Our middle boy was 19 when he spent a week alone at the house. He's okay with a night here and there...but a week bothered him a little. He's a people kind of guy and the house was just a little too big for his comfort.

[Baby Favorite]

I occasionally leave my kids (11 & 15) home alone when we go out for an evening, etc., and they are completely trustworthy. I get the feeling they're a lot like your kids.

I was left alone too and was way too conscientious and respectful of my parents to ever do anything I shouldn't have.

[Deborah]

Legal curfew? Goodness is that routine in the US? Is it for under 18's?
We don't have anything like it here in Australia.
I'm going to have to study up....just when you think you have an understanding of a country.....

[Brightside-Susan]

I was home with my siblings on occasion and alone for a week when they all went on vacation and I was working - no parties, no problems. I was good like that.

So were my kids. We have left them, including my 17 year old overnight. She usually has a friend stay with her so she is not alone and all was well. Lot's of checking in.

[Katie]

My sister and I were left alone as teenagers, and I never did anything, but my sister had 2 parties that I can remember. I attended, but didn't invite anyone and only attended because I was already there too. I didn't plan either or invite anyone - I was the one making sure nothing happened to anything.

We've never left our teenagers alone overnight - mostly because we haven't gone anywhere overnight during their teenage years that they didn't go too. Would I trust them? Hard question. Yes I would, but we also have family living all around us that would catch them.

[green girl in wisconsin]

I think I'd be okay leaving teens home alone--but I haven't got any yet! With good neighbors keeping an eye on things, that makes one feel more secure.