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April 11, 2011


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Oh my, this is hysterical. Does this play as an actual negotiation or is it just humor at this point? And how ever did you get to this point?!?


Hey, what works for one family would be a disaster for another. The trick is figuring out what works for your family, and not caring what the other parents think of your method! My parents demanded obedience, but they were big on asking me my opinion on things, and letting me plead my case.


A child learns by testing boundaries - I don't think this ends at any specific age. Having specific limits and consequences creates a safe environment for growth. And then the "bartering" marks times when growth has been achieved and the extended curfew becomes a sign that you have earned additional responsibility and respect...

green girl in wisconsin

We're working on obedience and honesty--my kids say "yes" and then don't do it. Grrrr.


Reminded me of when I was a kid...


My daughter (10 years old) reacts this same way more and more. It doesn't bother me terribly, because just like your kids, she does do what I've asked. In fact, sometimes we just play it for laughs. However, my husband has a very different personality --he can be very funny, but he doesn't really get this kind of humor, or the fact that saying no doesn't really mean she won't comply. It can be downright dangerous for this to play out in front of him :-)

BTW, I hadn't found your blog back when Pedro was with you --that was a very interesting discussion of sticking with things past our discomfort, in order to grow and really become capable of enjoying the new experience.

Busy Bee Suz

You know who you are dealing with...you raised them. I can see the puzzled look on your husband.
I always give a weird curfew time.
Example: 10:53.


Bingo! Everyone needs to be heard, whether they get their way or not.

I like Busy Bee Suz' curfew time. 10:53. Very creative!


My son is 4 and a half and the negotiating is already hot and heavy. On his part. On my part it is pretty much like you describe. I just repeat myself over and over until I win. Fortunately right now it is limited to discussions about whether or not a lollipop is an adequate choice for dinner or how many marbles he has earned for his marble jar by doing something I asked of him without arguing. HA. He argues about his reward for not arguing. I am so dead when he is 15.


Haha, sounds very much like our house.

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