Whenever something happens in my life that I either can't blog about or haven't gotten around to blogging yet, I feel like a little strange. Not that I owe my blog peeps all the details of my life (or that you even want to hear them), but I'm pretty open in this space and that's the way I like it. Since last week I've had something to share, but it's one of those things where I have to puzzle out what is mine to say and what isn't.
This particular item is made easier by the fact that the other person in this episode volunteered permission for me to blog it.
Almost two years ago I wrote about the fact that my best friend, OMomK (for "other mother of my kids"), and I were no longer friends.
Last Thursday we had lunch.
It was about three months ago that a mutual friend of ours let me know that OMomK was interested in us reconnectin. I took some time to think about it before I said yes.
One of the people I talked to at length about what I was thinking and feeling was Suzy Soro. I kid you not, that woman gives wise counsel of the sort that can only result from years of psychotherapy and uncommon common sense.
Her advice was that if I wanted to reconnect with my friend that I needed to do so with no agenda and no expectations. I took her advice to heart and spent some time thinking about whether or not that was something I could do. It turns out it was.
OMomK and I had a lovely three-hour lunch and we are going kayaking together on Friday. Things will never be the same, but that doesn’t they might not still be good.
I am so happy to hear this. I suspected and hoped this day would come. Happy kayaking.
Posted by: mrs. g. | October 27, 2011 at 01:32 AM
You are admiringly gracious, Jenn. I know that you've been hurt and puzzled, yet you've extended such generosity to new friends and OMomK. Blessings.
Posted by: Melinda | October 27, 2011 at 01:35 AM
As I think I told you, my best friend and I were estranged for 5 years, because I ended it. Of course when the shit hit the fan this past March, I knew I had to have him back. We are now back together but he wanted to rehash what happened. I knew no good could come of that so I told him to let it go. Whatever we had to learn in the time apart I assumed we both had learned.
Time apart is almost as necessary as time together. We are different people today. But just as tight as before.
You give me more credit than I deserve. You can say as much as you want but if the other person doesn't hear you, it's lost.
You listened. So the credit goes to you.
Posted by: Suzy | October 27, 2011 at 02:11 AM
wise advice....not so sure i could follow it, myself, i tend to have higher expectations than what i should in situations like that.
good for you, though...i know how hard that whole situation was...the fact that you are talking is a good thing.
no expectations.
i gotta remember that.
Posted by: dkuroiwa | October 27, 2011 at 02:21 AM
Sometimes it's impossible to tell how such situations (friendships that morph into estrangement) are going to go, but I like that you both wanted to be a part of each other's lives again. And the idea that it won't be the same, but it can still good = a great one to remember.
Posted by: lanes | October 27, 2011 at 05:45 AM
Wow! Was it awkward? Did you get any answers? I want to hear more about this! I recently tried to reconnect with my former best friend, and it didn't go so well.
Posted by: Jenrantsraves | October 27, 2011 at 08:42 AM
That must have been tough to do - to go into it without an agenda or expectations. Friendships are funny and odd and confusing as they all change and/or end and sometimes we don't even know what happened.
Glad you reconnected and it worked out wonderfully !
Posted by: Life As I Know It | October 27, 2011 at 09:25 AM
Good for both of you. I'm glad you did this.
Posted by: Aunt Snow | October 27, 2011 at 09:25 AM
This is wonderful news!!!!!!
Posted by: Busy Bee Suz | October 27, 2011 at 10:30 AM
This makes me smile. Hugs.
Posted by: Christina | October 27, 2011 at 11:58 AM
I am impressed :) And, you are a better person that I am!
Posted by: Marms37 | October 27, 2011 at 12:18 PM
I am glad the hatchet is underground. What a relief it must be.
Posted by: green girl in wisconsin | October 27, 2011 at 03:25 PM
It was the right thing to do! So glad!
Posted by: Becky | October 27, 2011 at 06:09 PM
I'm so glad!
Posted by: Karen (formerly kcinnova) | October 27, 2011 at 08:20 PM
Good luck and congratulations on being able to ditch your agenda. Grab all the good you can!
Posted by: cardinal | October 27, 2011 at 08:25 PM
I hope things work out for you to be friends again. It might not be the way it used to be, but it might be good anyway.
Posted by: Little Miss Sunshine State | October 27, 2011 at 09:09 PM
I'm happy for you. It's hard to lose a friend.
Posted by: magpie | October 28, 2011 at 02:43 PM
This is such nice news. I'm so glad you two reconnected.
Posted by: Jen on the Edge | October 29, 2011 at 10:54 AM
Hugs! I've had similar things happen. It isn't ever the same, but it can still be really good.
Posted by: CC | October 29, 2011 at 03:01 PM
Man's greatest blunder has been in trying to make peace with the skies instead of making peace with his neighbors.
Posted by: SMSF Fees | November 16, 2011 at 08:39 AM
I hope we could have the same chance with my "x-best friend" to reconnect our friendship again. It's been half a year since we got this misunderstanding and until now I still see no chance of winning her back. Buzzing her facebook and her inbox daily is not enough. She did not even bother to face me when I visit her in their house once. So sad.
Posted by: Database Design and Development Courses | December 14, 2011 at 03:22 AM
Problems make our life difficult. Challenges make our life worth living and LOVE makes the world go round, What do you think?Ü
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