Wake me when high school is over . . .

This past weekend Social Butterfly and Peanut took a little trip to San Francisco. The origins of the trip were that Peanut is looking at an art school up there and her mother and grandmother wanted to take her to the Open House. Both girls are also applying to San Francisco State University and they have a couple of friends that are freshmen there. The plan became that all four would fly up Friday, do the Art School Open House on Saturday and then Peanut's mom and grandmother would return home and the girls would spend Saturday evening and Sunday on campus with their friends then fly home Sunday night.

It took me exactly three seconds to consider and approve this plan. That's how much faith I have that SB has a good head on her shoulders and is trustworthy.

On Saturday I got a couple of texts from SB and she sent me some cool photos.

I got this photo at 8:15, while I was relaxing at home, after seeing a movie, enjoying an Amstel Light and chatting with my friend Sandra. When Sandra left just before 11, I texted SB "I'm going to bed, just text me back and let me know what you're up to."

Now the thing about SB (and the reason for my quick okay on the trip) is that she ALWAYS texts me back.

I'm sure your beginning to see where this is going, right?

She didn't text me back. Neither did Peanut when I texted her. Neither girl answered their phone, either. They didn't text back at 1 or 3 or 4 or 6 either.

I really, really tried not to get to worried. I reassured myself that statistically the odds of any trouble befalling them were infinitesimal, 24-hour news cycle horror stories notwithstanding.

At 7 a.m. I called the father (a neighbor) of one of the students the girls were staying with to get her cell number. I also got her dorm hall and room number. Of course she didn't answer her phone, either--why would she, it was only 7 a.m

By this time Peanut's mom and I had spoken and she also hadn't heard from Peanut.

I was at the point where I could just picture this all unfolding as an episode of SVU (as I told myself that was a stupid and ridiculous way to think).

I took a breath and called SFSU campus police and asked them to go over to the dorm room, wake the girls up and have my daughter call me. They did and she did.

Why hadn't she answered her phone at 11 on a Saturday night when she was in the big city, free and unfettered and with no curfew?

She was asleep. They'd walked all over the city Saturday afternoon and evening and they were so wiped out they were asleep by 10.

My daughter made me frantic by being not partying the night away.

I was somewhat shame-faced and apologized for calling in the cavalary. Still, I was relieved of my worry that her body parts were scattered among different trash containers on Market Street.

I blame myself for the whole debacle--if I just would have said to SB, "Text me when you are in for the night" she would have done that. Also? I should have had the dorm hall and room number before she left and the direct phone line to the room.

What do you think? Am I a crazy woman who should probably be medicated or just another worried mother?

I'm signing off now to go pick my daughter and her friend up at the airport. Where I really hope everything goes smoothly--otherwise I'm going to need to call my doctor for a Xanax prescription.

 

Comments

[Little Miss Sunshine State]

You're not crazy. Our 23 yr old is living with us. She usually gets out of work at 10pm and is home by 10:30.

Last night I was asleep when she came in. I woke up at 4am to go to the bathroom, spotted the 2nd door lock that hadn't been flipped and had a panic attack that she got into a car accident.
She was 4 feet away from me asleep in her bed.

SB knows you trust her. It's just a normal Mom thing to worry.

[lanes]

I think you were a worried parent -- but with good reason. As you said, it was out of character for neither girl to text back, and they were two seventeen year olds in a big, unfamiliar city. I'm so glad everything was all right.

P.S. As someone who worries like its her job (if only! I could be raking in the dough as I pace), I may not be the demographic you were hoping to hear from!

[suburbancorrespondent]

I'm not normally a worrier; but I definitely would have been hyperventilating by morning in this case.

[patti]

No Xnanax for you, your reaction was completely normal.

That's something I would have done to my poor daughter 8 years ago when she was a senior. And I would still be hearing about it today.

[Karen (formerly kcinnova)]

Worried parent? Yes. Unreasonable? No.

My oldest is 20 and spent Thanksgiving week at his girlfriend's family home. I didn't hear from him for the entire week. I was pretty sure he was okay, and since she is from a tiny town with sketchy cell service, I didn't panic. I might still be peeved at him for not calling.

That sad thing is, teens and young adults don't think to call and say they made it back okay, everything is fine, etc. *sigh*

[Karen (formerly kcinnova)]

So did you sleep the day away?

[unmitigated me]

I'd have done the same thing, though probably not have gone so far as to call campus security (mostly because it wouldn't have occurred to me!)

[Busy Bee Suz]

You are NOT crazy!!! I would have flipped out too. Glad the outcome was good...but you'll never get those years back that you took away from yourself during this episode!!!

[gary rith]

I mean, for all you knew she had been kidnapped and shipped off to Shanghai or worse! Don't blame you :)

[Brightside-Susan]

When we are used to them answering it IS worrying when they don't. I nearly called campus police a few weeks ago - won't go into the story, but now we have new rules in place and I do have some phone numbers that would have helped. I totally understand.

[KEM]

Not crazy at all! Kudos to you for thinking logically and getting an on-campus service to go find her. I honestly don't think I would have thought of that, especially not while panicking.

As a 20-something that ALWAYS texts back within minutes, I know I've worried people on the rare occasion where I've forgotten my phone at home and they don't get a response.

[Jenrantsraves]

Speaking as a mom... you are just a concerned mother. Speaking as a former teenage girl... you're a crazy person. ; )

[Jen on the Edge]

You did what I would have done. I'm glad the girls are okay.

[Jocelyn]

Lack of information is what lets thoughts spiral out of control; it's the unknown that gets us!

[Lisa]

You did the right thing.

[Deb D]

I would have done the same - I don't worry as long as things go as I expect lol!

[Arli]

If SB's norm was NOT to return your texts, you might have acted a bit crazy. It was the out-of-character behavior that caused the worry, and rightly so. Glad it all worked out ok. Hope SB and Peanut had a great time.

[get a girl]

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