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March 08, 2012

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Melinda

Jenn and SB,
You are incredibly kind to share your journey with us. I will be directing friends here, because I've never found a better description of eating disorders.

I wish you both -- peace and grace and continued courage for your journey. I hope I can exemplify you, the next time I face a hurdle. much love - Melinda

Catherine

Dear Jenn and SB, Thank you for sharing your experiences. I find I'm trying to maintain a balance between informing my 2 teenage boys about healthy food choices and nagging them to make sure they eat better. They are both athletes and top students. Your experience scares me and it helps me to be on the lookout for warning signs.

I wish you and your family all the best in your journey to recovery.

Suzy

Jenn, whatever is going on in ANYBODY'S head is always a mystery. And, having been a kid myself, I know there are plenty of things I didn't talk about. Whatever caused this shift in SB's thinking can always be helped by therapy, as I've said from the very beginning of this.

If you've been hurt by my comments I'm baffled.

Jamie

"America has become a fat country, the fattest in the world. I grew up in an era when we were all thin. We had one fat mom in a 20 mile radius and she stood out like a sore thumb. We always felt bad for her kids, one of whom is my age. That girl today is now as fat as her mom was!"

Not sure what our fat country has to do with SB's eating disorder, the most fatal of all mental disorders.

Suzy, I think you might be baffled because you are so connected to the "beauty at any cost" (I've read many of your comments on this blog) because of the busines you're in. You also come across as self-involved and insensitive.

I remember you making fun of actresses who, in your opinion, looked old at some awards show. Actually, they looked like women their age who hadn't fucked up their faces with plastic surgery.

Maybe Jenn doesn't want SB's appearance lauded when she is clearly ill.

Just my two cents. And please don't bust my balls for this because you never hesitate to offer your two cents.

gary rith

again, here is hoping for her health and best wishes to you all...funny to think that what people say can be so powerful---my wife is five 7 and a hundred pounds, I am five 9 and 125 and people give us BOTH a lot of talk about whether we eat or not...and we both DO. We eat exactly what we want and exercise exactly as much as we want, but just like if we were twice our weights and obese: shut the fuch up. For someone young to hear about an oreo or whatever, man, if people would just realize that somebody else's weight is their business and shut up.

magpie

Love to you both, Jenn.

cardinal

Jenn, this is an awesome primer on eating disorders. Great stuff from a great writer, I guess that's not a surprise!

gary rith

I must say, and sorry I have not said it before, but she has good parents who are helping EARLY on and in a supportive way. Goodness, how far things go sometimes before a kid gets help or it is simply too late!

Christina

HUGS

Becca

wow, in that last photo, she looks like my sister in high school, who had an eating disorder too.

allmycke

Big hugs to you all.

Brightside-Susan

I always think it must be a mix of things that then, through our own thinking/feeling lead to these disorders. That you can analyze what SB took in to create this behavior is so great. We can't really know anothers thoughts, but we can be aware of the fact that we all have our special way of proessing things and be supportive where we can when we see them heading the wrong way.

mom taxi julie

It's a slippery slope for sure.

My best friend from high school had a large mother, aunts, and grandma. She was always taking diet pills and the like. She was about SB's height and always thought she was fat at 120 pounds.

gary rith

Sounds to me like the girl was standing at the edge of the cliff and mom and dad each gently grabbed an arm and said "why don't we step back and move to safety and figure out what we can do for you to be happy and healthy?". Just in time :)

Elizabeth

I just wanted to let you know that I am reading, I am thinking about you, your daughter and family, and I am wishing the best for you all.

aaryn b.

To Jenn and SB,

I want to echo what others have said here: It is courageous and generous of you to share this story so publicly. I didn't think any of your journey would apply to me, but was reading because I care about you, Jenn, as a friend IRL, and you, SB, as her daughter I only know through the Internet.

But the photo of you and your dad really got me to thinking. My first reaction when I saw it the other day was, "Wow, she looks fit. I wish I could look like that." (Cue the needle being dragged across the record). Even though I know what you're going through, that was nevertheless the very first thought in my head. And it made me stop and think about my perception of beauty and what constitutes normal weight and good health, both physical and psychological. Clearly, I've bought into the myth, on some level, that skinny=better. (Not that this is why you, SB, have lost so much weight. I realize this is not about that anymore.)

But look: I'm 5'10" tall. I weigh 145 pounds. I'm fit. And I look good. Or at least, I should feel like I look good. But my whole life, I've wanted to be skinnier and fitter, to be something other than what I am, which is perfectly normal and healthy for *me*. It distresses me greatly that my first reaction to your picture was hmmm-she-doesn't-look-like-she-has-an-eating-disorder even though I knew as I scrolled that you do. It distresses me that my lizard brain is that powerful; it distresses me that I've bought into some unreal, unhealthy ideal.

My point is just to say that I've learned something from your story and have been percolating on it for days. Again, thank you so much for being so brave and open.

Karen (formerly kcinnova)

I am still here reading, still amazed by your courage in sharing your story, and still pulling for you all. ♥


Busy Bee Suz

Gosh, I just read this post 2 times and the comments 3x!
I thought I left a note...and I didn't.
I love that you are sharing and I can't say enough how I am glad that you and your husband are SB's parents. You've taken such a healthy approach to this, mentally and physically.
She has a solid foundation and wonderful support. AND sharing your story is helping others....my eyes are WIDE open.
xo

Jenn @ Juggling Life

You are wise to keep an eye open--anorexia is not just for girls, anymore. There are two boys in Kinseys program.

Jenrantsraves

I just wanted to say that I admire how you handle things so much. I hope it helps SB to know that she has a lot of people (some she doesn't even know) pulling for her.

Green Girl In Wisconsin

Those pictures really tell the story--and I look at them and see what you probably CAN miss when you're around a person every day.
I imagine food to be like alcohol. Problematic for some, not a problem for others. Who am I to judge. One beer can spell trouble for one person for reasons I may never fully comprehend. I think the lesson here is sensitivity for where others are at, even if it's not where WE are at ourselves.

Aunt Snow

Much love and support for you. I do not know what this is like, either in person or as a parent, so I will keep my foolish mouth shut and just tell you how amazed I am at your strength and goodness.

Jocelyn

Everything in this post: well and graciously handled, as ever.

JCK (Motherscribe)

Thank you for sharing this journey- SB and Jenn.

suburbancorrespondent

I missed this post. But, yes, it's clear from the pictures that there was starting to be a problem. When the face starts looking too big for the body, that's your clue. A lot of models look that way these days, which is why some people looking at that picture might think it looks normal. It's great that you noticed in time. Another month, and it would have been much harder to fix.

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