Eating Disorder Chronicles: Wise Mind

One of the things I'm loving about this program is the Dialectical Behavioral Therapy we do in the family sessions. It makes you really stop and think about how you process life. Last week they talked about the Wise Mind. The Wise Mind is when you integrate your rational mind and your emotional mind.

Your rational mind is clear and analytical. Your emotional mind is all feeling with no analysis. But when you combine them . . . you are thinking with your Wise Mind.

Anyone that raises teenagers needs to use their Wise Mind. You can't be too tough and you can't be too soft. You need to remind them of reality, but have empathy for them--being a teenager is hard work.

 Anyway, I am loving this therapy, so when I had a conversation with an offspring (who shall remain anonymous) in which I balanced pragmatism, warmth, understanding and calm to good effect, I had to tell Social Butterfly, "I used my Wise Mind!" It's what I would have done anyway, but I love that it has this name.

Comments

[gary rith]

That unnamed offsrping was probably your son at college wanting to go to jamaica for spring break ;)

[Green Girl In Wisconsin]

I just finished a book titled "Yes, your teen is crazy" and they refer to this as well. A useful tool!

[Brightside-Susan]

I do relate so well - had a conversation with my son this week and worked very hard for that middle place. Hope my husband can do the same when the discussion is with him this weekend!

[Jenrantsraves]

Maybe she will come to Gannon next year? I hope to use my Wise Mind when my son is a teenager, but I fear my emotional mind does rule most of the time.

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

Oops! That was just meant for Gary.

Jenn

[Jenn @ Juggling Life]

Not that I minded you seeing it, I was just trying to respect Jakes privacy by not posting it on the blog. Fail!

On Wed, Mar 14, 2012 at 5:40 PM, Jenn jennatjugglinglife@gmail.com wrote:
Oops! That was just meant for Gary.

Jenn

[amy]

Looked this up the other day after you referenced it, love the concept. I've done quite a bit of reading about mindfulness, etc. and this makes so much sense.

[suburbancorrespondent]

This is what I hated about DBT - to me, this is just common sense, wrapped up in way too many words. Or maybe it was just explained incorrectly. But I have always called it "parenting."

[suburbancorrespondent]

That last comment sounds a tad negative - sorry! Just venting pent-up frustration with the topic - nothing to do with you! I'm glad you find it helpful. Although, really, I think you already practiced it.

[Jocelyn]

I've been thinking this week about how one of the things that sets you apart from many bloggers is the way your advanced emotional intelligence comes through in your posts and the way you relate to the world. Now you've given me a whole new term to bandy about in my head in regards to you (and all the many others in the world I like to analyze).

[Busy Bee Suz]

I"ve never heard this phrase before...but yes, it is mandatory when dealing with teenagers!

[Karen]

Part of the reason I am reading your blog right now is because I am glad you got your daughter to help, and that she went, very early on. For partly, perhaps mostly, selfish reasons, I want to watch from afar as she heals.
I am almost 38 and I've had anorexia/bulimia for over 20 years. I can't stop myself now. I can't afford care and insurance doesn't cover things like this. I've ruined my teeth and I feel like a runaway train and am scared now.
It is so true that when you start you think, Oh I'll only do this another week/month/until I lose this many pounds, but without help, you can't.
Watching an educational film in school about eating disorders gave me all the ideas to start my own little weight loss campaign. I think it happens that way a lot. More girls need to know how bad it can get, and that you often can't stop, and sometimes you can't get help.
I am so glad that you, and she, did.

[Minnesota Matron]

DBT is just a wise way to live, in general!