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May 09, 2012


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Smalltown Me

Damn. You are one fine advocate. That not "doing" e-mail crap is just...well, crap. In this e- age, how can a teacher NOT do email?

Karen (formerly kcinnova)

Echoing exactly what Smalltown Me just wrote.

You are amazing. Ah-MAZe-ING!! Go get 'em, Tiger!


Let me step into the wayback machine and see if I can find a typewriter ribbon for the teacher. What an ass. Good work on your advocacy for SB, and by extension all with anorexia, with the principal. Today was a day for evolving minds!

Lisa G.

Wow, Jen - that's awful.
yay - yay- YAY for you (and SB) for standing up to this.

And REALLY? THIS is the "support" she's getting from the school? I feel ill just thinking about it...

Prayers and hugs to you, and thank you again for sharing. I get tongue tied and/or overreact when faced with this sort of thing - I'm a good example-follower, though -thanks for setting the example.

Lisa G. in CT


I thoroughly enjoy the reference to the wayback machine (and that spellcheck kept trying to make it "swayback machine") but I call complete nonsense on the English teacher "not doing" email. As an English teacher, I do email, faxes (when students are hospitalized and can only receive work a page at a time), and, at times, personal delivery for students who are out on what I call medical leave. Every single teacher I'm friends with does the same thing ... because it's our job. I do know teachers who grumble about getting work together and only send it after being prodded by guidance counselors. But even though they are jerky about it, they still do it!

I'm glad you have shown people the light, but I'm sorry that you had to and I hope that people's ignorance didn't make SB rethink her decision to attend her prom.

Busy Bee Suz

I'm so glad you are so fast on your feet....verbally speaking. We all have to advocate for our kids, and you are doing a fantastic job of this!!!!
The teacher in questions sounds like a stubborn idiot, refusing to be helpful to someone who is asking for it! He should be ashamed.

gary rith

it really does not seem like a big deal to accomodate a good kid and a good student, does it?


Appalling that you had to even deal with this, but glad the right outcome was reached in the end. If I was struggling, I would absolutely want you in my corner. SB is lucky to have such a great advocate. It's astonishing that excluding her would even be RAISED to you.

I last heard 'I don't do email' from an aged partner in a law firm. In 1998. It was a ridiculous attitude to have then, and 14 years later I would say it's grounds for disciplinary. Jeepers.


A - what was he going to do to get her the appropriate work?

B - kudos for you for standing up to let the school know that this is a MEDICAL issue and not some personality flaw in your daughter. Sadly, you know she's not the first child having treatment for an eating disorder and those who came before may not have had such a strong and eloquent advocate. I hope you write the school board or someone to be sure that the school does more to understand this.


Well, now I am mad! I really don't know how you maintained your cool enough to be so eloquent. Sadly, I think it was this sentence that caused the principal's tune to change..."Were you to deny her the chance to attend prom, that might threaten her recovery and I would consider that to be a very serious matter". Sad that fear of a court case trumps just plain being a decent human being.


What an Ass that teacher is. ....just saying! From my perspective SB deserves to participate in all of these activities. Go MOM!I hope this helps some other students too. So glad you stood up for what's right and your beliefs!
Why on earth would this teacher not "do" email to protect himself? Seriously, then what was said/assigned is right there for all to see? I don't get it. Jerk.


So was that teacher going to wait at school until you got off work and could get there to pick up the assignments? Geez. I feel like the world is getting more mean and petty as time goes on.

As much as everyone loves to hate lawyers, the threat of legal action sure gets action.


hooray for parents who actually go to bat for their kids! my mom would have done the same thing, though she'd have left either the principal or the teacher (or both) in tears before she was finished with them. sending my mom in was like sending in an atomic bomb...people were going to cower in fear by the end of the meeting.

...also, her class is reading Brave New World? that's fantastic. it's considered an evil book at my old high school, lolCatholicschool.

Green Girl in Wisconsin

What a dick. I'm glad you set both of these clowns straight! SHAME on them!


You are one fierce mom. Awesome job. She's so lucky to have you in her camp.

Katie Jennings

Just so you know that idiocy comes with all diseases... I'm a teacher and last year I had to go up against my head teacher because one of my form (like homeroom I guess? Not up on american terminology) dropped below the attendance requirements for the leavers dinner and he wanted to exclude her. The reason? Her mum had died of cancer three weeks before. Keep on advocating!

Cassi Renee

I am just so stunned by both these situations. A teacher who doesn't want to help a student on medical leave? Someone fire that teacher!

And a school that thinks a child who has been ill shouldn't participate in school activities?! That's beyond understanding!

I thought schools were supposed to advocate FOR their students. How incredibly sad.

I'm so glad you and SB fought back!


I can only agree with what everyone else has already said... I feel ashamed on behalf of teachers and principals around the world who go out of their way to help students - figure the odds that two numb-nuts like this would work in the same school.


BRAVA!!! Hooray for advocate Moms! I know it is second nature to you but seriously you are such an asset to your daughters recovery! WTF with the Techer and the Principal Anyway? If it were Leukemia they would nominate her Prom Queen and then invite Bob Dingaman to post a very extra special article about her struggle in the SRCA. Sheesh.


and really, I do know how to spell Teacher I was just all flustered on your behalf.

Claudia from Idiot's Kitchen

Good for you! My parents don't "do" email, computers, or microwave ovens. My sister and I affectionately refer to them as semi-Amish. They, however, are older and not teachers. Geez.

Jessie - a different one

What kind of teacher doesn't make the necessary efforts to help a student? If you don't want to rewrite the questions, scan them in and send them. Or, send them home with another student. Communicate in some way.

And for the not wanting her to attend activities to be "fair". I just wonder how many times this has happened to other students. SB is a very lucky girl to have you!

Deborah J

I empathise with every bone in my body. My younger daughter had 5 months off school her Senior year. (2011) She had an extreme case of Scoliosis which meant 4 spinal surgeries, and a long list of complications, physiotherapy...
I was astonished by the reactions I got, and how much fighting I had to do for her.
I'm still so angry about it that I'm almost in tears just writing about this.

The only thing she had to look forward to was her Formal(Prom)...and then that was ruined for her by cruel teenagers. She went, but it all ended badly.

Good on you, because it's true. We are the only advocate our children have.
...and they need someone who is ALWAYS on their side.


Happy Mother's Day! Seriously, I mean the exclamation mark and the sentiment. I was only a sporatic reader of your blog. You and your daughter's journey has made me a full time reader.

I live in So. Cal on the beach. My daughter is 15. Last year was the absolute worst year of our family's life. She was so unhappy at middle school and thought she had no where to turn. She would run away (barefoot and in the rain); seriously, just slam the door after a fight. We went to a therapist; didn't help. We got a 25 page and 6 week long evaluation. Turns out she has ADHD and we never, ever knew. (well, we knew once we started evaluations). 9 months later, she and our family are forever changed but for the better. She's at the massive public school. She's surviving and maybe thriving. She's on a low dose of meds. Me, I'm more involved than ever.

I so believe that kids need a "momma bear". YOU are a great mom.

I've never written a comment like this. Nor does anyone in my small beach town even know of our family drama/trauma.

Keep on keeping your daughter/kids loved and safe.

JCK (Motherscribe)

I love how you think on your feet!


OMG, these people should be celebrating your daughter, not putting her down and excluding her! Where is the common sense here? As a teacher, I would have no qualms dropping work off at a student's home or meeting a parent wherever it was convenient (and I have four kids of my own to deal with after school). A good student, an involved student, and an overall great kid? They should be happy to have her and do all they can to support her. Why some people go into teaching I will never understand.

Kudos to your daughter for all of her terrific progress, she's amazing! And kudos to you, too, for being with her every step of the way! Happy Mother's Day!

Aunt Snow

Good for you!! I am trying to be charitable toward the teacher - perhaps he/she thinks agreeing to email homework would become the "slippery slope" of having all students expect communication? But why not automate your homework assignements and send them to the entire class as a list? It doesn't take any more work than sending it once.

My son fell afoul of his junior high bureaucracy - in order to get something fixed, he was supposed to go to an office and speak to the staff during the staff person's lunch hour so they were never there. I could communicate with the staff person during different hours, but he refused to accept the request from me.....it was nuts.

Social Butterfly is lucky to have you in her corner! I hope she has a lovely time at the prom.


#1: What you said to the principal was amazing and perfect. Kudos to him/her for having the wherewithal to change that tune.

#2: OH NO YOU DINN'T to the teacher who doesn't "do" email. This is a *huge* pet peeve of mine and is a complete lack of professionalism masked as a personal preference. It behooves the teacher to use mainstream forms of communication and to get the hell over his/her bad self.


Kudos! Thank goodness your daughter has such a strong advocate in her mother. What a great response to the Administrator. Clearly needed to be educated about eating disorders.I also have a17y/o daughter who sounds like yours.... Great student, no discipline, (did) participate in many groups at school until ED showed up. Her Princicpal was wonderful. Has offered her to participate in anything she wants to even though she is finishing school online now. Her school counselor was another story. Pulled dear daughter into her office with concerns about her weight and actually asked her what she weighed! Then when we decided to change her classes to online school, actually suggested that maybe dear daughter could take a
nutrition/aerobics class online! This is a guidance counselor in our high school!! I calmly explained that dear daughter could not exercise based on doctors orders and was, at that time, in a wheelchair due to her low heart rate, so that course would not be advisable.
If I have learned anything along this journey, it is the importance of educating those who do not know or understand. Some won't listen or hear, but I'll keep talking for those who will.

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