Juggling Life

Ingenuity Rewarded

I find it humorous that two days after I posted about my solution to the problem of people not respecting my space, the VP (not really, but like that) came to me and asked if I would like a partition installed. Um, yeah! Turned out he couldn't stand look at that gaudy crib sheet (best $10 I've ever spent) another moment. I should have tried being aesthetically unappealing sooner.

Not an hour after the idea was broached, this is the new space:

It was my idea to move a worktable to the other side of the partition and now there's a great flat space with office supplies for staging copies. It's a total win-win. 

I told my friend/former student about this and she asked, "Why don't they know by now to just give you your own way to start with? You always get it in the end."

Which is actually very true. I like to think it's because I am only asking for reasonable things.

I am very happy in my new space; I am also happy that I don't need to get a t-shirt made that says, "No, I DON'T know where Dr. So-and-So is OR when she'll be back."

I should have more time to really get some work done. Or play more Words with Friends, check Facebook and Pinterest. Kidding! 

Ingenuity

When I first started working full-time, I had a cubicle in the third-floor educational office. It was very quiet and a good place to get work done. 

When we  had the layoffs a few months ago, the whole building was reorganized so that people would be with others in their department. Since the person that oversees my department had an office on the first floor, two co-workers and I were given desks in the open-plan area adjacent to that office. Also adjacent to the copy machine.

At first, I really hated the new location--it's noisy and a little chaotic with lots of interruptions. Then I realized that's actually my preferred environment. I've met lots of new people and I've embraced my role as the copy-machine whisperer. 

There is one big problem with my desk's location and that is that despite the presence of a work-table and some chairs, my desk is a very convenient place to set your stuff down. Sometimes even when I'm sitting there working.

It's not just setting things down though--in my absence the night instructors will push my things to the side, adjust the height of my chair and leave crumbs on my desk. Rude, no?

An email has been sent and I've left notes, but to no avail. The last straw was the morning I was working at my computer and went to take a swig out of my Kirkland water bottle and then noticed out of the corner of my eye my Kirkland water bottle. I had someone else's water bottle to my lips.

Hell to the no, right?

One of the other instructors I sit with had the genius idea to use a fitted crib sheet to cover my area when I leave for the day.

 

My desk looks messy in this shot, but I assure you it is not. That was part of the problem--I made the mistake of having room on my desk.

 

Apparently, I am now the talk of the office and people are divided on whether this is a good idea or I'm a b*tch. The people whose opinions I value are on the good idea side. 

All I know, is I rarely even share a drink with my husband; I'm certainly not up for sharing one with a stranger. Also? If the naysayers had cleaned up after themselves, I  would never have known they were there. 

What would you have done?

 

Time Warp Tuesday: Family Tree

This week Karen and Smalltown Me are playing for sure, Jen can't because of technical bloggy issues, and Janet and Gary almost always come through. Navhelowife is joining us for the first time.

This picture was taken (by my dear friend Thom) days after my mother was diagnosed with cancer and only a couple of weeks before she died. We don't have a lot of pictures of my mother later in her life because she never thought she looked good in pictures.

Thas was so silly because she was beautiful and thin and always looked great and younger than she was.

Anyway, why this picture this week?

We talked at Thanksgiving dinner about having a family photo taken with one of us holding a photo of my mom at Grownup Girl's wedding. It's a shame she won't be here to be joyful with us.

This is also one of the few pictures of me at close to my highest weight. During my mother's death and illness, I gained 30 lbs. in two months. I didn't stay that weight for very long and I worked very diligently to get down--it was not a healthy weight for me--not to mention I wasn't happy with the way I looked and felt.

Still, I display that picture because it is the only one I have of my mother with her children and grandchildren and I am not quite vain enough to discard the sentimental value of the photo because I don't like the way I look.

Almost, but not quite. Somehow I think that sensibility is going to get me through the turning fifty thing. Though a grandchild won't hurt, either!

 

 

P.S. When you have someone with anorexia in the family, talking about weight is always dicey and fraught with tension, but I feel that Social Butterfly is in a place to recognize that just as health can require weight gain, it can also require weight loss. Different people have different needs. 

Sometimes low-key is the way to be . . .

I am not a person that clings to "this is the way we always do it." That's a sure path to disappointment.

So I'm pretty happy with whatever permutation of Thanksgiving ends up happening as long as there are mashed potatoes, pie and wine. And there always seems to be. Yesterday's festivities included a long bike ride, no dressing up (I wore my fave old softball all-stars sweatshirt all day) and my girls making me laugh so hard I was in tears. Of course, there were phone calls to MVP and Danger Boy because they weren't with us. 

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I love family and food and a house full of people in a celebratory mood. 

I am so distressed about this year's move to have more and more stores open on Thanksgiving. My reasons for opposing this move are two-fold. First, it puts materialism before anything else. "Things" before "people" is the way I interpret this crazy, obsessive need to shop. Secondly, it shows no compassion or empathy for those that work retail and their right to enjoy their families. 

The backdrop to my annoyance is that I surmise that the decision-makers that have started this are Republicans. You know, the party of family values. Because nothing says "we value your family" like making you miss Thanksgiving with your family so that American consumers can fill their gaping maws of material desire 12 hours sooner than they might otherwise. 

 

 

Thankful

I am a very blessed person; I practice gratitude every day and I have for many years. Life is better if you do this.

Last time this year, unbeknownst to any of us, we were on the precipice of a health crisis with Social Butterfly. 2012 has been a year of the most intense ups and downs of my life--I have lost a mother and a sister and a dear friend, but nothing comes close to knowing you could lose a child. We are in a very good place, though I take nothing for granted.

Relapse weighs on my mind--just because it is more common that not. My daughter is doing wonderfully, but it would also be okay if she wasn't wonderful 100% of the time. I worry that a "perfect" recovery on her own is a pressure that she doesn't need. I want her to know that I will still do whatever I need to in order to help her stay healthy.

This is the text I sent her last week: I love you and trust you, but anorexia is a sexy, sneaky bitch and she would love to have you back. Let's work together to keep her ass kicked.

This year, this is what I am most thankful for . . . 

 

Nicole and I conspired to surprise SB by having her think I was picking her up at the airport, but really it was Nicole. It was an excellent surprise.

 

 

 

Friends that pierce together . . . SB, Nicole & MagMag getting "rook" piercings (inside the ear) from our piercer. Yes, we have one--if you're going to pierce safely, you need an ex-Israeli soldier/emergency room nurse.

 

 

All those piles on the floor? Girls.

SB and friends went out for breakfast (I cry a little inside every time that happens); I've already walked 5 miles and I'm going to put a soup in the crockpot for dinner before I get down to the nitty-gritty of Thanksgiving prep--stuffing! pies! appetizers!. 

 

My boys got their goodie boxes and are spending their Thanksgiving with family--just not the one they were born into. I'm grateful for the families that are setting a plate at their table for my guys. 

I am going to listen to music while I cook and pour a glass of wine sometime in the afternoon. I will cook like a crazy woman and then fall into bed tonight exhausted and happy. Philip Phillips "Home" is playing on the radio now and that seems like the perfect soundtrack for today.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.

Facing Down Fifty

I have never been afraid to grow older and I am painfully aware that the only option to getting older (with it's attendant issues) is dying; I will always count my blessings on any day that I am lucky to be here on Earth, living life.

For my thirtieth birthday, I was pregnant with my youngest child and busy in the glorious bustle of life that is having small children. I couldn't even tell you what I did to celebrate.

For my fortieth birthday, I was still knee-deep in glorious bustle (though with slightly older children) and was treated to an amazing surprise party thrown by my husband with help from great friends and the kids. 

For my fiftieth birthday I have planned a trip to go kayaking with the orcas in the San Juan Islands with my husband and as many friends as can make it (and it's a wicked cool trip, so I think they'll be a few). I'm pretty sure the festivities surrounding this milestone birthday will be memorable and wonderful.

Now, the aforementioned fiftieth birthday is actually still about 16 months away, so why am I thinking about it now?

'Cause this one, my friends, might be a little tougher than the rest. I think it's because 50 is the dividing line between varying degrees of "young" and decidedly "not young." No way to spin 50 as "in my forties." Which is kind of crazy thinking as I have never once lied about my age. 

That thinking also discounts the fact that I am looking pretty good these days. I think I probably look better now than I did five years ago. I have more time to spend on my appearance and working full-time gives me the impetus (and a little money) to dress better and look more put-together than I did when I was wearing jeans to college classes and then bolting straight to a water polo game or cheer practice then get dinner on the table every day. Not to mention worrying about teenagers. Oy!

And yet . . .

The whole turning-fifty thing is a niggling discontent. Not full-blown, but also not disappearing. 

This is one of those posts that I didn't really know where it was headed once I started, but I think now I do. I'm going to explore this issue in this blog a bit. Share some thoughts. Bare my soul. Hear your thoughts. Sit with this feeling, this discontent. View it through some different prisms. 

Also? I think I now know why this poster I found through Karen on Pinterest has stuck with me all day today.

  I can't say I'd call turning fifty a problem, but it is an issue. I think the maxim holds true for issues as well as problems, don't you?

 

 

 

 

Holiday Shuffle

I wasn't going to post tonight, but when I start leaving comments on other blogs that are post-length . . .

Danger Boy doesn't come home for Thanksgiving. Travel is too rough for a 4-day trip from the East Coast during the busiest flying time of the year. 

MVP always comes home and was going to do so this year as his girlfriend was going to Oklahoma with her family. Her plans fell through, but MVP was still going to come until I told him he should ask his girlfriend if she wanted him to be at her Thanksgiving. He called to thank me because it turned out his girlfriend DID want him to be with her for the holiday. Whoulda thunk it?!*

Social Butterfly will be home--yes, a mere 8 days after she went back; that's okay, the past weekend was worth the plane ticket.

Grownup Girl and Guy will be here and will help cook. Thanksgiving is a holiday where we all pitch in and that makes it so much fun. Food, music, drink--what's not to like?

A good friend (and former student) may come and may also bring her elementary-school age children--it would be fun to have a little girl helping with the crescent rolls.

OMG! Thanksgiving is a week away!

 

*I feel passionately that I will never make my kids feel guilty for missing a holiday at home. I was really tormented when that BS was going on with me and my husband and I won't do it to my kids.

Part-T!

My sister, Tina. She will unzip a dress right off a mannequin and model that thing with style!

Time Warp Tuesday: Veil Evolution

Grownup Girl and I on my wedding day: 8/1/87

Things this picture make me think about:

• I am sure that I have some readers that are not aware that Grownup Girl is actually biologically my niece. She was three-years old when she was the flower girl at my wedding.We got a kick out of each other.
• I got her dress at Nordstrom for $45 and it was so sweet--pink satin and white lace. My sister and I got into a tiff because she changed her into a tacky shorts outfit for the reception--I'm pretty sure just to annoy me :)
• I loved my veil! A neighbor for whom I babysat made it for me. We looked at many gorgeous veils this weekend, but I never thought, "Oh, I would have rather had one of those."

Here's a better picture of my wedding dress . . .  After a day of wedding dress shopping, SB asked to try mine on. I gave a big song and dance about how it would probably be swimming on her and then it turns out to fit like a glove. And I thought I was too heavy when I wore that dress. Even at five-ish inches shorter than her, I wasn't that big if she and I could wear the same size. It's such a waste that white American women rarely appreciate their bodies even when their bodies are at their best.

Can you tell I was a big fan of An Old-Fashioned Girl? I would have been in heaven if I could ever do a Gibson Girl hairdo. Sigh.

Be sure to check out the rest of the Time Warp Tuesday participants: Brightside-Susan, Karen, Tonya  Lynn, Smalltown Me, Jen, and Gary. I think I will give myself a break and take next week off--by next Monday night I better be getting busy on making that old Thanksgiving magic happen!

Whew

We had quite a weekend. I dropped from exhaustion Friday night after the 11ish arrival of the last houseguest, my stepsister Tina--or, more accurately, my sister Tina. I was so tired because I hit the ground running before 6 a.m. and upon arriving home went into baking mode and made Social Butterfly's special muffins, a birthday cake for SB's birthday dinner and banana bread because you must have banana bread when you have sleepover guests, especially if one of those is SB's bestie Mag Mag. (When a recovering anorexic looooooves something you make, you make it--with a big ol' smile on your face!)

Saturday morning I squeezed I worked my 3-mile hill walk in early because we were in full-on bridal battle mode. Dresses would be chosen! Saturday night was SB's bday dinner and in an inspired move she chose breakfast for dinner; you can never go wrong with pancakes and mimosas.

After dinner and presents, all the young people had places to go and people to see, which was fine with Mr. Fix-it, Tina and I. Tina had studying to do (she's working and getting her degree post-divorce) and I was just about turning cartwheels at the thought of an 8 p.m. bedtime.

I had to shorten the walk a bit Sunday morning, but I did do it. Go, me! After that it was back into bridal boutique mode and Grownup Girl said YES! to a dress. Bridesmaid dresses have been chosen. Also? Apparently leaving these decisions until a mere 6 + 1/2 months before the wedding is some kind of heresy. Who knew?

I can't show you the wedding dress (top secret) and the bridesmaid dresses were tried on in black, but will be carribean blue, so there are no photos of THE dresses. Instead I will share with my wedding ensemble--and can I just say Pinterest makes shopping a much nicer experience for a mall-averse person like me--look Ma, no stores!

A note about my dress--I ordered it a size larger and will have it tailored because I do NOT plan on sporting that level of cleavage. I already own the shoes (though Nine West, not Jimmy Choo) and I am hopeful that someone with access to my Pinterest board will gift me with the earrings. I heard a rumor there's a gift-giving holiday coming up.

Let's see . . . what else happened this weekend?

Oh yeah, somebody turned 18. How better to celebrate than to take half the family to a tattoo parlor?

Social Butterfly designed the tattoo she wanted several months ago and it is meaningful to her as a way to honor both her recovery from anorexia and her second father whose initials were T.W.O.

It's Sunday night now--my husband's packing for a week away, I drop SB off at the airport at noon tomorrow and Grownup Girl and Grownup Guy just left for a three-day Disneyland adventure. From overflowing house to empty house--which will give me enough time to catch my breath before Thanksgiving arrives!