Time Warp Tuesday: Family Tree

This week Karen and Smalltown Me are playing for sure, Jen can't because of technical bloggy issues, and Janet and Gary almost always come through. Navhelowife is joining us for the first time.

This picture was taken (by my dear friend Thom) days after my mother was diagnosed with cancer and only a couple of weeks before she died. We don't have a lot of pictures of my mother later in her life because she never thought she looked good in pictures.

Thas was so silly because she was beautiful and thin and always looked great and younger than she was.

Anyway, why this picture this week?

We talked at Thanksgiving dinner about having a family photo taken with one of us holding a photo of my mom at Grownup Girl's wedding. It's a shame she won't be here to be joyful with us.

This is also one of the few pictures of me at close to my highest weight. During my mother's death and illness, I gained 30 lbs. in two months. I didn't stay that weight for very long and I worked very diligently to get down--it was not a healthy weight for me--not to mention I wasn't happy with the way I looked and felt.

Still, I display that picture because it is the only one I have of my mother with her children and grandchildren and I am not quite vain enough to discard the sentimental value of the photo because I don't like the way I look.

Almost, but not quite. Somehow I think that sensibility is going to get me through the turning fifty thing. Though a grandchild won't hurt, either!

 

 

P.S. When you have someone with anorexia in the family, talking about weight is always dicey and fraught with tension, but I feel that Social Butterfly is in a place to recognize that just as health can require weight gain, it can also require weight loss. Different people have different needs. 

Comments

[gary rith]

Actually, I ALWAYS come through, blogging every day ;)
It is funny, looking at your kids, they are so small and young! How did they become grown ups???? And, as usual, you are so honest and forthright in your posts, very revealing and giving us a lot to consider.

[Navhelowife]

The hardest thing about my upcoming kiddo's high school graduation? Knowing that my mom won't be there to celebrate it.

I'm glad you have this picture of your mom!

[Navhelowife]

You inspired me. I did a Time Warp post too!

[Jen]

I love that you display it, even though you were at your highest weight. It says a lot about what you value, and who you are as a person. I love the idea of holding a picture of your mom in a wedding shot.

[mom taxi julie]

I'm so glad I clicked on a link to the Suburban blog and saw your name on the side :) Do you still play words with friends? I finally got back into playing it and you're a good one to try and beat ;)

Love the picture! Even though you weren't happy about yourself in it you can look at it as a reminder of how far you've come! Any picture with a deceased family member is always special to me.

[Smalltown Me]

I always regret the pictures not taken, but never the ones that actually were taken.

Your picture is a treasure!

[Janet]

It's a beautiful shot of your extended family.

As usual, I'm late!

http://fondofsnape.com/?p=4796

[Jenrantsraves]

I didn't post a picture, but I did end up posting today after all.
http://jen-rantsraves.blogspot.com/2012/11/i-cried-in-target.html

[Busy Bee Suz]

I don't think you've ever shared a photo of your mom before, at least not one that I can remember. LOVE this so much....I can see why you treasure it. What a gift to have everyone there at once. I'm sure your Mom realized at this time that it was a gift as well.
I think you (??) posted a few years ago about being 'in the picture' for your family. It really resonated with me and I've been photographed more the last few years FOR my kids. No matter how I feel about myself physically.
Great share!

[Brightside-Susan]

As much as it is a pain to gather the family for photos, it is such pleasure to have them later on - no matter how we may look at any given time!

I promise to play next week!!

[Karen (formerly kcinnova)]

I, too, like the idea of holding a picture of your mom in one of the wedding pictures.

I took time today looking at a family picture in our hallway. SnakeMaster (now 13yo) was just a baby so there are 2 unborn cousins missing in the photograph -- plus it's a huge one that no one else wanted -- but it has my mom looking happy and healthy, so I treasure it.
I used to think I didn't look good in that picture, but I weigh more now than I did then! Perspective...

[Karen (formerly kcinnova)]

I'm definitely seeing family resemblances between this picture and some faces in pictures that are more current (although I am confused because there is one extra boy that I couldn't account for in this photograph).

[Jocelyn]

The insights into your life that we get each time you do one of these posts, well, they're wonderful, as they give us more pieces to move around the Jenn Board.

Weight is always so fraught. I cringe at many pictures of myself, but part of total self acceptance is not needing to hide or wipe out who we've been. It's all been part of the process, eh?

[The Girl Next Door]

Love the photo, and always love your honesty in looking at things from all directions. My mom went through a long period of "don't you take my picture!" and now that she's 80 she says, "Darn I wish you took my photo more when I was younger - what was I thinking?!" I remember those words today when I'm carrying a few more pounds than preferred and say, "OK Snap away!!"

[Green Girl in Wisconsin]

You both have the same beautiful smile.
We are so hard on ourselves, aren't we?