Facing Down Fifty: It's Kind of Shallow

A big part of the turning 50 angst--which will likely surprise nobody but me--is about looks. 

For years I have genuinely embraced my laugh and smile lines (I did not use the pejorative term "wrinkles" in my head). These are the marks of living, right? And sun-damaged skin? Well, that was because I was busy having so much fun in said sun. This is the skin of someone that taught children to swim in the ocean, planted flowers in the spring and watched outdoor sports year-round. It's not like I was going to not do any of those things just to protect my looks (thought I have been a sunscreen fanatic for 30 years).

In the end, I wouldn't give up a single moment in the sun to look younger today. At least that's what I tell myself. Sob. No really. But . . .

It's hard to let go of pretty to make way for "pretty for her age." It's annoying to have become a cliche as I approach a milestone birthday. Would I hold fast to my scorn of cosmetic surgery if money wasn't a barrier? Honestly, I would likely find someone possessing a light hand with the fillers and I'd sure as hell have a lot more facial treatments. 

I like to think I'd never succumb to the knife, but I sure have more empathy for women that make that choice than I used to.

So that's what's inside my head. Well, that and "How old is she? Do I look younger or older than her?" and "Can I get away with those boots at my age?"

I sure hope the answer to the second question is yes, because I've been wearing them almost every day.

 

 

Comments

[Karen (formerly kcinnova)]

Being comfortable in your own skin is important! I love your attitude about smile and laugh lines; when I see people with those, I immediately think, "That is someone I would enjoy spending time with, because she/he must be really fun!"

I made the decision to stop coloring my hair last year. I'm not sure if I'll stay with that choice forever, but I'm happy with it for now. It's sort of like the boots: do they make you happy? Then go for it!

If I ever lose all this excess weight and keep it off for a year or so, I'm going to be mighty tempted to have some elective surgery to remove excess skin -- because I don't want to be saggy. It's exactly thoughts like that that make me less judgmental toward anyone who might make the choice for plastic surgery in order to lift her spirits. (That said, I've had surgery go very badly once and it makes me VERY hesitant to have anything done -- I had to be brave just to get my hammer toe repaired last week!)

[suburbancorrespondent,]

The only thing I would want to have done cosmetically are the veins in my legs. They are so bad they make my lower calf/ankle purple and puffy. I don't mind looking old, I just don't want to look gross.

And at least cashiers haven't tried giving you the senior citizen discount yet. Really, at 48, did I deserve that?

[Jen]

Funny, I was just lamenting the fact that no one says I'm pretty anymore. I was telling my husband that I kind of miss being hit on- that it was a big ego boost. Then I was out, and I heard a guy behind me say "Hi, pretty". Luckily I didn't answer, because he was talking to the little girl I watch!

[Jen]

Oh, and let me know if you want to try the R& F products. I do think they work well, and it's a lot cheaper than Botox! :)

[Green Girl in Wisconsin]

It's so tough to come to terms with age, isn't it? I keep telling myself I'll never ever do things...but then I look in the mirror and wonder, "Really?" "A little tuck here...?"

[Little Miss Sunshine State]

My grandmother had a puffy, wrinkly face and I thought she was beautiful. I think those days are gone and society has a whole new checlist for "beautiful"

My only complaint lately is that I think my skin is kind of dull and I need new makeup colors since my hair is grey now. I'm heading to the cosmetic counter this week for some makeover advice.

I think every woman has to decide for herself what makes her comfortable at every age.

[The Zadge]

Ditto everything you said. And I have 15 pairs of boots and wear them all the time.

[Cassi Renee]

I agree with everyone that we all have to figure out how we can live happily with ourselves. We're all different to start with, so there is not likely to be a one-size-fits-all solution.

[Smalltown Me]

I haven't been too bothered by aging. The advantage to being overweight is the lines in my face are plumped up naturally. If I lost weight like I should, I fear my face would look pretty haggard.

If I could find hot boots that fit, I'd wear them all the time!

[Busy Bee Suz]

Love this...your honesty is always so lovely to read. I also grew up in the sun and didn't start wearing sunscreen until I was 25 or so. Ughhh.
I have few regrets about aging, but my face/neck is falling. Quickly. I think that shows my age more than anything.

As far as the sun damage, I did find that IPL laser works wonders. I've had my face, neck and chest done and it really works. It is not too expensive and not too painful.
You+boots=stylin'!

[gary rith]

people worry too much about how they look....i think if a person tries to be healthy, then that is good enough?

[lanes]

"Shallow" would not be in my top 50 adjectives to describe you. Most of us go through phases of adjusting to big changes -- try not to be hard on yourself!

P.S. I vote for continuing to rock the boots!

[momtaxijulie]

So far (almost 40) I see it most in my hands and neck. I hardly ever wear sunscreen so I'm probably screwed ;)

[Brightside-Susan]

I, too, was a sun worshipper and saw the damage in time to warn my daughters but boy did I love being in the sun and getting tan...Still do!! I would love to do the laser treatments to help with it now, though! It's on the list if I ever win the lottery.

I was told just today how much "prettier" I am looking now that I have shed 55 pounds - and I am 59 years old. I am looking forward to seeing the face after I lose another 50 pounds!