Juggling Life

Christmas 2012: Counting Down

The beauty of starting your blog on Christmas day is that your blogoversary does not pass unnoticed. It was five years ago today I dove head-first into "that blog thing." I've never looked back and blogging has enriched my life immeasurably. So. Many. Wonderful. People. Love you all.

Today was a special day for all the normal reasons--family, fresh-out-of-the-oven cinnamon rolls, lots of presents, a bike ride at the lake. Christmas is always fun, but this one is special for being the first Christmas Grownup Guy spent with us. It's also the day these save-the-dates-cards are ready to be dropped in the mailbox. 

T-5 months until the big day!  Which, if you believe the peeps in bridal shops, is tomorrow in wedding time. 

Grownup Girl and Grownup Guy are moving on in a couple of weeks--they still have their clinical rotations in other cities to finish. I always feel lucky, but I am especially blessed to have had this time to get to know my future son-in-law on a day-to-day basis. He is good people through and through and that's a very big deal when you''re bringing someone into your family. 

He is also the next-generation Mr. Fix-it. We needed a new garage door opener recently (the garage door got tired of rebelling only when Mr. Fix-it was out of town so that I looked like a lunatic when he got home, pushed the button and asked "what did you say was wrong with it?"); I had no idea what a huge undertaking it is to install an opener. It took the guys about three hours to get it up. It's very cool to know that with the GuGs living close by, there will be many more projects that will be tackled together over the years. While I babysit :)

GuGuy is also a car guy and a fishing guy which are two pursuits most of the other males around here consider to be worthwhile. He also cooks. I know.

I pen this as the kitchen bustles with the activity of dinner prep and we devise schemes to remove. every. last. sweet. from the house first thing tomorrow. I"m about to pour myself a glass of Champagne as it's either that or go into hyperdrive removing the detritus of a successful Christmas from the flat surfaces in my home--and really, nobody wants to see that, do they? 

Grownup Guy's analysis of the differences between the way his family does Christmas and the way ours does includes the way we open presents (his family does piles with the youngest going first while we do one-at-a-time in no particular order) and the fact that there's a lot more swearing at our holiday (we did have to rejoice over the fact that Social Butterfly may not have joined the rest of us in consuming a f*ck-ton of cinnamon rolls, she did have a bite of one and that is cause for all kinds of celebration to me!).

Also? We have less church and more vodka shots--which may not sound like family values to everyone, but it sure feels like it to me today. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year all!

 

Much love and laughter from our family to yours.

The outtakes--better than the one that makes the card sometimes!

 

 

 

 

 

Holiday House Tour 2012

If you would like to go on a tour given by an organized woman who had a part-time job and went to school and whose husband traveled some, but still managed to keep life running smoothly for a large family, please click to the tour I did in 2008.

Today's tour will be lead by an exhausted woman who has a very full-time job, a husband gone close to half the month and is used to any empty nest but joyfully has a very full house now, Also? My boss is out on leave for a few weeks, so I volunteered for some projects that would have been hers. Cause, you know, it's not like Christmas is a busy time at home. Also? I took all these pictures before work one morning and edited them while my hair was being colored last night.

2008 or 2012, one thing is the same. For me, Christmas is really all about family. We are very lucky to have our future son-in-law with us this year. I know he will miss his family, but I also think he will have a good time. 

To the tour . . .

I don't decorate early, but I start thinking about Christmas on Thanksgiving night when my brother and sister-in-law and nephews bring a poinsettia when they come over for our pie extravaganza. It's an annual tradition.

 

I used to also swap out a huge pot in the front of my house for Poinsettias at Christmas, but then I started sending kids to college. Luckily, the lavendar is still lovely.

This is our tree. I will confess that it is artificial as we came very close to losing our house (firefighters in the backyard close) in a wildfire and the thought of having a fire hazard in my house gives me an anxiety attack. Even though we never let our tree dry out. Anxiety doesn't care about facts. In front of the tree is my husband and I all spiffed up for his annual workplace Christmas party. I wish I could tell you the story of my workplace party, but there's no way. Let's just say next year their needs to be a memo about how you don't get sloppy drunk with your co-workers. There are several people whose personal lives I'd prefer to know less about than I now do. Oh, and I'm using this picture because I'm freaking out about turning 50 and I think I look pretty good here. My husband's okay, too :)

 

 I have a lot of decorations because my mom loved decorating and I got all her stuff when she passed away. I treasure it. Before I start decorating, I take my regular photos and tchotchkes down and put them away. I don't like clutter.

 

Children of all ages know they will find a candy cane in the sleigh on the table by the front door.

 

Adults of all ages know they will find a candy cane in the sleigh on the table by the front door.

You will generally find a bountiful selection of home-baked goodies. Specialties of the house are peanut clusters, cinnamon rolls, molasses cookies and banana bread. This apron was made for Social Butterfly by Nana and she learned to bake in it.

 

Three of the stockings are hung by the chimney with care. The fourth one is hanging off a fireplace poker because one of the stocking hangers broke and I'd prefer to wait until after Christmas to replace it. With something on sale.

I am not religious, but I appreciate the cultural significance of Christian figures and these lovely things have all been given to me by my mother-in-law or mother.

My oldest son calls this vignette "Giant Carolers Stomping Village." I broke the light for one of the cottages this year while I was decorating. I am telling you, I am a hot mess lately.

What to do with the ornaments that no longer make it on the tree? A bowl on the dining room table. We look at the picture ones more this way. In fact, just tonight MVP pointed out that Danger Boy was a dead ringer for David Bowie when he was about 13 (Danger Boy, not David Bowie--okay, the DB thing is kind of weird). Shoutout to my friend Heidi--best thing I ever did was start an annual handmade ornament exchange with her and her two crafty daughters!

Our tree is full right now of the kids' ornaments I've bought them each year. We'll have to start replacing when they take them with them--starting this year. The girls each get snow babies and one son gets Santas while the other gets snowmen. We have several personalized dough ornaments and I love them. Who knows, maybe I'll have a gorgeous theme tree that wows my grandkids (someday).

I will close with my two favorite decorations. Then I will fall facedown on my bed and kick myself for not taking Friday off work as a personal day.

 

I have these for three of the four kids. Don't ask me what happened to the fourth one; I already torment myself. I know there were four because they all had the same Kindergarten teacher. We were truly blessed.

This is the door from the kitchen to the garage. I took this a few days ago--there are many more now. I am a Christmas card fanatic and I LOVE to read your card.  I know for sure one person that reads this is going to recognize her adorable son's photo. I've left space for our New Year's card. I can't see us taking a picture before Sunday with everyone's schedules and I sometimes leave this up until Valentine's Day anyway.

 So that's it. I'll be around to visit over the next few days; a heartfelt thank you to Jen on the Edge for hosting--these things take work and she's the hostess with the mostest when it comes to Christmas and blogging.

This is last year's Christmas card picture and still an accurate representation of who is at our house for Christmas. We are lucky and grateful as I hope you and yours are. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

The girl next door, Danger Boy, Jenn, Mr. Fix-it, Social Butterfly, MVP, Grownup Girl and Grownup Guy

Edited to add . . .

My boyz--who have apparently become very large men. Thankful they were willing to humor their mama 'cause they know I love photographic evidence of everything.

 

 

 

Time Warp Tuesday: The First of the Foursome

I am not sure who is playing this week, because I forgot to send out a reminder until five minutes ago. I will add links as they come in, or they will be in the comments. Also? To those of you that would like to participate, but don't have a scanner or the time to scan your photos, mine are all just snaps of the photo, still in its frame, taken with my iPhone. Easy-peasy.

I am generally not a fan of formal portraits--probably because I'm not really a big fan of formal anything. I am much more of a candids person. Plus, I've always taken tons of photos of my kids and when you take as many as I do, you're bound to have some keepers. 

I did do a formal portrait (Portrait People coupon maybe?) the Christmas right after Social Butterfly was born--she was about a month old. 

What I think of now when I look at this is that the clothes were pretty and the kids themselves adorable, but formal portraits? Still not a fan.

Also? It's always a shock to remember what a brunette my little blonde SB was. And those shoes the boys were wearing? I can't remember what they're called, but they're like little construction/hiking boots and they were so cute. And Grownup Girl's hair? To this day, I would kill for hair like that.

Last of all, SB could definitely be some weird stuffed baby doll in an episode of Criminal Minds. I'm actually considering taking the picture down after looking at it this closely. On the bright side, it's in one of those picture screens with 11 other photos, so nobody else is looking this closely at it!

No Timewarp next week--I'll be celebrating both Christmas and my fifth blogoversary next Tuesday. My, how the time does fly.

 

 

 

NOW, can we talk about it?

On Saturday, a long-time reader emailed me. She knew I would likely be writing about the shootings in Connecticut and she wanted to share a post her sister-in-law had written. I hope you click through; her idea is to send her photo Christmas card to politicians urging them to consider passing sensible legislation on the issue of gun control.

I love this idea and will be doing it.

Last week I was asking you to weigh in on sartorial choices and quipped about all my airport runs. Social Butterfly came home Thursday, Mr. Fix-it late Friday afternoon and Danger Boy Friday night. MVP will be home Wednesday; Grownup Girl and Grownup Guy are already here.

I will have my family home for Christmas. We will take a picture and I will rush to edit it and order cards from Costco and get them out if not in time for Christmas, then for New Year’s.

My heart breaks for those families in Connecticut; it is a cliché, but it is the only statement I can make that comes close to expressing what I feel.

Equal to my heartbreak is the rage I feel that this society seems beholden to the notion that we are not allowed to discuss gun control. That the NRA calls the shots for all of us. That taking on the right to bear arms without significant and sensible restriction is verboten. 

I know the issue is not only gun control. I know that access to mental health is a huge piece of the puzzle. It only makes sense that letting out children watch violent movies at impressionable ages cannot be good for them. And we should address those issues, we really should. 

But right now, today, we should demand that guns--specifically the ones that are weapons of mass destruction--be kept out of the hands of those who have no reasonable need to possess them. As this tragedy unfolded, I sat at work watching clips on CNN. I shared what was happening with those that came to use the copier. I had a discussion with the retired law enforcement officer that runs the Criminal Justice program. I her I am not anti-gun and that I understand that the second amendment plays a part in our rights to possess firearms and that there are those that hunt for food and sport, but why on god's green earth does a hunter need to possess any weapon other than a plain old rifle to hunt deer. She shrugged and said sarcastically, "It must be in case the deer is also armed."

I am ashamed of myself that it took the slaughter of 20 innocent Kindergartners before I felt compelled to really raise my voice about this. I feel like I was a lobster placed in cold water that is now beginning to boil.

My children have never known a society where they weren't prepared in the even of a lockdown (basically a euphemism for school shooter). I have huddled under tables with first-graders during a lockdown drill. I told my own children to ignore the school's direction to hide in the bathroom if that's where they were when the lockdown happened and all the bungalow doors were locked. "Run and hide in the trees," I told them, "you'd be a sitting duck in the bathroom." "Run in a zig-zag pattern because you're harder to shoot that way." I remember the neighbor girl hiding with her classmates in the bushes as a helicopther hovered overhead when an actual lockdown happened due to an unfolding police chase.

I accepted this as reality because I accepted that Americans would never do anything about virtually unfettered access to firearms due to all the loopholes and shortcomings in our laws today.

I refuse to accept this reality any longer. No automatic or semi-automatic weapons should be in the hands of non-police, non-military personnel. There should be waiting periods and background checks and home visits and psychiatric evaluations before you can get a gun. If you do own a gun, the penalty for you allowing your weapon to fall into someone else's hands should be severe--up to you being charged as an accessory if your weapon is used by someone to commit a crime.

Our Constitution and Bill of Rights are living, breathing principles subject to change as the world changes. Semi-automatic rifles used to slay innocent babies en masse are not what our founding fathers had in mind when they crafted the second amendment.

This is enough.

 P.S. I have at least one reader who is very pro-second amendment and a gun enthusiast. She is a smart woman with whom I've had several discussions on various issues; I like her very much. It is my hope she will contribute her thoughts and that it will be possible to have rational discourse on this topic. I hope the comments are passionate but respectful. 

I often have back and forths on Facebook with my BIL who lives in MIssissippi and a friend in Seattle both of whom have very different views than I do on most social issues; we generally end up finding some common ground and we always keep it civil. The world needs more of these discussion.

P.P.S. I have to proactively present a counterargument for the common clalim that the real problem is that nobody at the school was armed. First off, a Kindergarten teacher with a gun is about the scariest thing I can imagine. In order to have it ready to use in case of an attack those children would be in constant danger of an accidental shooting. I shudder thinking about it. Additionally, being a well-trained gun enthusiast sure didn't prevent Adam Lanza's mother from being murdered. I cannot fathom how anybody could possibly think that more guns in the hands of more peole is the answer to this problem.

What Not to Wear?

I am in the midst (aren't we all) of the cleaning-decorating-party-party dress shopping, airport pickup joy of the season. 

Mr. Fix-it's annual Christmas party is this coming Saturday night. It's always a lovely affair and is being held in a wonderful venue called The Abbey. I' am generally a little black dress kind of gal when it comes to dressing up--classic, safe, flattering. I'm trying to shake things up a bit o.m.g.d.i.am.almost.fifty.   To that end, I am trying royal purple this year. For $11 at Marshall's, wouldn't you? I have to take the side seams on top in a bit and shorten the straps a smidge, but that's not hard.

My dilemma is what to wear on top. "Cause girlfriend does not do sleeveless anymore. Unless it's with a mid-summer tan and it's 100 degrees outside.

I went shrug shopping. Probably in and out of 8 stores in an hour. Wouldn't you know I'd find something at the very same Marshall's by my house where I bought the dress last Friday. It didn't look then because we were headed to a movie. 

Here are the choices (so far, there are three more shopping days until the party). When viewing thse photos please bear in mind that I will be self-tanning for the rest of the week; hopefully that will tone down the glare on my legs. California girls just do not wear pantyhose for anything other than funerals. Also, jewelry will be involved. 

First the shrugs, then me in the shrugs. 

 

Shrug #1

 

 

Shrug #2

Shrug #3

Grownup Girl suggested that one that makes me a foot taller would be a good choice. Not sure how that happened, but sure not going to fix it at this hour. 

What say you? One, two or three? Luckily, no matter which one you pick, my entire outfit will still be less than $25 including tax. 

 

Time Warp Tuesday: Forebears

This Time Warp Tuesday brought to you by the letter "E." That would be "E" for exhaustion. Cleaning and Christmas and baking cookies for my amazing class (turns out that it's just as I thought it was--my miserable class recently was their fault, not mine. Some seriously negative folks, people), oh my!

Let's see . . . this week we have posts from: Gary, Navhelowife, Karen, Smalltown Me, Brightside Susan, and Janet. People sometimes join in after I've pushed publish, so be sure to check the comments for more!

Suz commented when I posted the final photo of my mother that she didn't remember seeing a picture of her. If wasn't for the exhaustion, I'd link all the posts that have her photo, but I'm going to leave that for another day.

There are not many photos of my grandma; this little collage was hers and I treasure it. I'm sure the frame came from either the Five and Dime or the Woolworths.

 
I don't know all the people in these pictures, but you sure do get a sense of bygone eras.

That's my mother and her brother, circa 1945; my mother's high school graduation picture (she was going to swank clubs with 30-year old guys at that age--gorgeous, isn't she?) and my grandmother (no idea how old she was--in her forties? Those curls came from pincurls. She did it to me too--an exercise in futility as my hair can hold a curl for about 13 seconds on a good day.

Facing Down Fifty: It's Kind of Shallow

A big part of the turning 50 angst--which will likely surprise nobody but me--is about looks. 

For years I have genuinely embraced my laugh and smile lines (I did not use the pejorative term "wrinkles" in my head). These are the marks of living, right? And sun-damaged skin? Well, that was because I was busy having so much fun in said sun. This is the skin of someone that taught children to swim in the ocean, planted flowers in the spring and watched outdoor sports year-round. It's not like I was going to not do any of those things just to protect my looks (thought I have been a sunscreen fanatic for 30 years).

In the end, I wouldn't give up a single moment in the sun to look younger today. At least that's what I tell myself. Sob. No really. But . . .

It's hard to let go of pretty to make way for "pretty for her age." It's annoying to have become a cliche as I approach a milestone birthday. Would I hold fast to my scorn of cosmetic surgery if money wasn't a barrier? Honestly, I would likely find someone possessing a light hand with the fillers and I'd sure as hell have a lot more facial treatments. 

I like to think I'd never succumb to the knife, but I sure have more empathy for women that make that choice than I used to.

So that's what's inside my head. Well, that and "How old is she? Do I look younger or older than her?" and "Can I get away with those boots at my age?"

I sure hope the answer to the second question is yes, because I've been wearing them almost every day.

 

 

Homage: My Friend, My Mentor, My Mrs. G.

Big thoughts (muddled or otherwise) will have to wait for another day.

BIG NEWS! takes precedence today. CELEBRATION! is called for.

Heather Gattuccio aka Mrs. G. has gone Hollywood. You MUST click the link. It's mandatory today. Unless you already read it--nah, click it again, it's worth another read.

There are many Derfs happy today for Mrs. G.'s success, but none more thrilled than I. Really, every blog accomplishment I have had has come as a result of her support. She was the first person to read my blog (because NOBODY does directly supporting and encouraging her readers like Mrs. G.) and it was her featuring me on the inaguaral Slow Cook Thursday that got me readers two, three and four. 

I looked back on the comments on that post and am blown away that I've met more than one of those women in person, and have close blog relationships with others. My comment to her deserves a repeat here today: Mrs. G, How can I ever thank you enough? Of all the bloggers in bloggerville, you will always be first in my heart! 

Heather did not just give me readers though, she turned me into a writer. Her asking me to write for The Women's Colony was a watershed moment in my life. If someone with Mrs. G.'s writing chops says she considers you a decent writer, you ought to ponder believing it. I loved every minute-drama and all-of that writing project with those women. 

If you don't already "like" The Derfwad Manor Facebook page, you really ought to pop over and rectify the situation post-haste.

Heather has been a true friend in other ways as well; not bloggable, but hugely important to me. 

I'm calling it now--viewing party at my house! We will do it up in true Derf style; strong liquor, great food and hot guys wearing aprons refilling our glasses. Who's in? 

 

 

Time Warp Tuesday: Office Edition

Monday was one of those crazy days filled with so much stuff--both work stuff and fun stuff--that it is 10 p.m. and I am baking brownies for my end-of-module-class-potluck tomorrow and putting together this post. Which is just fine provided I fall asleep 7.2 seconds after my head hits the pillow. We'll see.

This week Jen and Heidi have posts up--and Gary always does. 

It was mid-day when I remembered Time Warp Tuesday and realized I was going to be in a real time crunch to get something up, so I decided to go with this photo collage that decorates my workspace (hence the large black cord hanging over the right side of the picture). As I was putting this together, I realized that one thing I really like about this photo is that it celebrates "life as we are" rather than "life as we were"  as only a couple of the photos are more than five years old. Though, soon this stage too will be gone. Sigh. But also, que sera sera. 

 

*I'm going with "fun stuff" because, "Poor me, I had yet another happy hour with good friends tonight" just sounds obnoxious, right?

 

Big Thoughts: Muddled

I have "big thoughts" ping-ponging around in my head. I have to tease the strands out of the knot that is my gray matter--the individual threads are at once disparate and overlapping. In the meantime, I am moved to write about daily life, which is at once mundane and rich. 

Grownup Girl and Guy cook a lot. The food they cook is excellent. Wonderful, even. My appetitie is sated by quality, healthy meals. Salmon! Grilled vegetables! Salads! Things are very pleasant around my house with four adults since we are all smart, fun people who know how to clean up after ourselves and pitch in--many hands make light work. I am looking for a new car and GuGuy is helping--He and Mr. Fix-it can talk MPG, safety ratings and price about the choices (used Prius tops the list right now) all day. They also fixed the leaking seals on my Sienna (which GuGuy is driving while I drive SB's Escape). They are muy simpatico in the "car guy" milieu. 

I had a chatty and oh-so-enjoyable Water Polo Alumni Moms' Group (we don't really have a formal name, but if we did, that would be it) happy hour last Thursday night. I have been on lots of teams and been friends with lots of people I no longer see and I love these ladies (their husband's are great guys as well, as are their kids) and will never get so busy I don't have time to throw up a Facebook invite and set up a get-together on three days notice. 

I did a Christmas card photo-shoot for my friend Michele and her kids over the weekend. Michele is a former student and it is a little awkward to have a friend who can't quit calling you, "Mrs. J.", but I overlook it because she is fun and her kids are adorable. Before we did the photo-shoot, Michele and I had coffee with my neighbor. You know when you think two people would really get along and have a lot to say to one another? It was like that. Thankfully, they got along and had lots to say to one another. 

After the photo shoot, we had to make a trip back to my house for baths and food and popping clothes in the dryer because it turned out to be excellent playing-in-the-ocean weather and the kids weren't going to let a little thing like no bathing suits stop them. Then we went down to Coronado to enjoy the holiday spirit and beauty of the Hotel Del Coronado.

 Also? I walked 10 miles this weekend. I'm also employing a holiday baking strategy that seems to be working. I can have one of whatever I make, but I wait until it's the last piece/cookie. That way I'm not tempted to overindulge.

This is the winning shot:

I liked quite a few of the shots--it's hard to take a bad picture of a kid having a good time.