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July 27, 2013


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Yeah, I pretty much decided to keep my mouth shut very quickly on Twitter. I think of the Civil Rights movement in the 60's in which a lot of white people were involved and in which a few lost their lives. I don't think the Civil Rights movement would have gotten very far were it not for those who look like us had not been involved.

While I will never understand the struggle for a POC, the Trayvon Martin & Oscar Grant cases spoke to me on the level of being a mom.

Green Girl in Wisconsin

It can be SO uncomfortable to speak up--because you get caught up in the hostility on both sides, making it tough to be an ally. But I love your Paula Deen response. That's the truth--you can only influence so far and sometimes the sphere is beyond you, so you just cannot go there.


It's such a tough situation.

I can't imagine the pain of a mother whose child could have been killed by George Zimmerman. As in, I literally cannot fathom what kind of pain that person would be in, because I'm another white feminist and I don't have kids. But you are a mom, and can probably better imagine how devastating it would be to lose a child in that way.

Over the last decade, I've become involved with helping a number of teenagers, some of whom have died. One was murdered partially because of how looked like (I apologize for that vague description, but you know how I feel about work details on the internet.) Does that mean that I have a credible perspective for grief? Is there such a thing? If so, does that mean that some people aren't part of this grief?

I don't think we need to be in the same situations as others to empathize with them, but I do understand that sometimes people want others to listen more, especially at first. As I get older, I am trying to do that.


I think @rosaclemente was out of line. If her question to white women was merely rhetorical, then she should have hashtagged it as such. But to ask for your support and then to make fun of it when you offer it? Not cool. Not cool at all. I don't think she even deserves all the thought you gave to the situation and to her in this blog post.

Busy Bee Suz

Me? I have big thoughts, but am always unsure about speaking them properly. I applaud you for this....you are a much more eloquent speaker/writer than I am. (chatty? I like chatty!)
BTW: I agree with Suburban Correspondent 100%.

gary rith

It seems like we are living in redneck bizarro world sometimes. Guns are so utterly wrong, and the outrage over Trayvon and Newtown and Aurora etcetcetc... where is it? Why does it get buried in the next media cycle? You would think Americans are more excited about the royal baby....

Minnesota Matron

I need to return and read the entire piece by Metz - must run off to a meeting now and want to do this justice. But I wonder what options white people have other than seeing Black pain? She critiques Peggy MacIntosh for taking all that Black suffering and rolling it out for the world to see -- not MacIntosh's pain to take, but wounds that belong to people who are not white. It seems to me that a bridge between self and other (of all differences) is first 'recognition' of the other, and when it comes to the Black experience in America, there is pain and suffering. Recognizing this doesn't seem like a disservice but a start that so many white people refuse to make. Metz is actually critiquing white privilege herself in this piece -- noting what we're blind to and how good intentions are actually, not so good after all. Finally, if MacIntosh's exploitation of black suffering is problematic what do we make of the exploitation or 'use of' (I'm using the word 'exploit' to mean 'make productive use of' as the word is defined) Trayvon Martin's death?

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