You are a Data Sample Size of One

There are so many issues I am passionate about that it's difficult to know where to channel my energies. Right now, I'm taking action on Eating Disorder education with my work as a parent mentor for the UCSD Eating Disorder Clinic--a time commitment of one Saturday a month--and keeping abreast of research in the field. 

One thing I've always done (though I'm aware it's basically tilting at windmills) is writing letters to the editor of our local right-wing rag newspaper. (This is actually a whole 'nother story as I hate subscribing because I can't stand that I'm putting money in the publisher's pocket, but I need my local news and I use the business section to teach about our local bio-tech industry.)

I was struck the other day about how many of the letters are from people who consider their experiences to be the be-all and end-all of how something can go. They erroneously extrapolate what they have learned/lived/seen as being how things must always be. This shocking lack of empathy and refusal to be conscious of the many different paths there are to walk in life is really bumming me out.

One letter discussing Bob Filner and the victims of his sexual harassment (I'm not saying alleged. I actually spent half an hour in a room with him after the scandal broke and I have no doubt he did what he's accused of) advised women that "a swift knee to the groin, a blood curdling scream, fingers/nails to the eyes and/or face or a stomp on an instep" should be the first reaction of a woman being harassed. Those that don't do that are simply playing, "poor me."

Putting aside the shock most of us feel when another person treats us inappropriately--possibly rendering us unable to act--this is about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Yes, I'm sure HR will take you super seriously if you react like that. And who cares if the rest of the office will considers you to be loony tunes? You need your job to feed your kids, pay your mortgage, etc. and are worried your boss will fire you? I get it, you're just a "poor me" card player.

In the same paper was a letter from someone who said San Diego Unified School District is doing just great. No improvements needed. The basis for that opinion? His daughter got into an Ivy League school. Well then, if it happened to you, it must be the way it is for everyone.

My dear sister-in-law is skeptical of any claims of racism becase when she was working as a deputy in a jail she treated all prisoners the way the way they treated her--regardless of the color of their skin. I think she is probably correct. Still, are we now supposed to disregard all stories of racism by law enforcement because that was the way she operated?

I think not.

I'm not sure if people always did this and I never noticed it or it's just on my radar more of late.

Either way, we're not going to make any progress on any issues at all if we're going to approach life as though our personal experiences are the only ones that are valid.

Thoughts?

 

Below is the last letter I had published in the paper--as I said, tilting at windills, but sometimes you just have to say something.

 

Mr. Lemon (“Zimmerman case was not about racism,” Letters July 26) can be as emphatic as he likes in proclaiming that the Zimmerman case was not about racism, but my viewpoint, as an honest American, is the polar opposite of his.

Americans are conditioned to be fearful of black men by a variety of media, systemic racism in the educational system is part of the reason no black professionals were involved in the prosecution of the case, and our justice system applies different standards to the arrest and prosecution of whites vs. people of color.

Ample evidence exists to support the above statements. No matter your viewpoint on racism, I am sure we can all agree that the bottom line is that if George Zimmerman had not followed Trayvon Martin, per the police dispatcher’s instructions to desist, we would not be having this conversation, and a teenage boy would still be alive.

 

Comments

[lanes]

I absolutely agree that we can't make progress until more people understand -- and stop denying the existence of -- the scope of different experiences we have. It heartens me that I've had some very moving conversations with fourteen year olds about how we can try to make this country a better place for everyone. It would hearten me even more if I could have similar conversations with some of my family members who insist that we all have the same opportunities to succeed and that current attempts to level the playing field are socialist or communist plots.

[Christina Nowacki]

I love that: "You are a data sample size of one." Oh man do I stumble into that SO MUCH. Yes, you can gather that my personal experience is that it is usually a specific side of the political spectrum that carries that viewpoint :)

I remember saying to my mom once in a conversation about race "The thing is, I really cannot sit here and drop an opinion on what it is like to be a black woman because I am NOT a black woman. And even if I were, I would only be ONE black woman among millions - if you and I - two white women - sitting at this table have different opinions on the same event, then don't you think 2 black women might as well?"

She stopped and then said "Huh. I guess you are right. Perhaps mine is not the only experience I should consider."

BREAKTHROUGH!

Anyhow - I am proud of you for subscribing and lifting your pen to tilt at those windmills.

[Cassi]

So very true. Confusing anecdotal stories with evidence is a huge problem in teaching basic science. I have a good friend who teaches psychology, and it's one of the biggest obstacles she faces in teaching Developmental Psychology. It's always worse with the non-traditional students (older students) who have had more life experience. We live in an insular midwest community, and they have never traveled anywhere else. They always assume that their experience represents all experience.

[Karen (formerly kcinnova)]

Until people look beyond themselves, they cannot believe there is any other way to think or act or live. We can't all "walk a mile in another man's shoes" but we can stop and think what it *might* be like. Listening is a good first step. (I love Christina's example in the above comment!)

[Kristen]

Christina, I am totally stealing your line to use in the too-many times I'm in a conversation that needs it.

Thanks for this post, Jenn.

[Aunt Snow]

"a swift knee to the groin, a blood curdling scream, fingers/nails to the eyes and/or face or a stomp on an instep"...this is about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Yes, I'm sure HR will take you super seriously if you react like that.

Indeed. Assault in response to assault gets both people fired, as far as HR is generally concerned.

I also wonder whether that person would suggest doing this at a fine dining establishment, where some of the behavior is supposed to have happened.

Let's remember that what Mr. Filner is accused of doing is not sexual behavior - it's not about being attracted to someone, courting, or dating. It's about using sexual behavior as a tactic of power.

Another aspect of this kind of fuzzy logic is the false equivalence lumping together of issues that are only superficially alike, when instead they are complex and very different except for surface appearance.

Filner, Weiner, Spitzer and Clinton are not the same.

Making fun of a public figure is not all the same, when racist or sexist (or otherist) content is present.

I love your writing, Jenn, and your righteousness!

[Green Girl in Wisconsin]

People are so blind to their privilege. Your response, "sample size of one" is so true. How can people NOT step back and imagine life in another person's shoes?

[my website]

But let's think of the borrowed funds this way: "How much achieved it cost you to obtain this rate my website in many cases, which is worth the miscroscopic amount of extra you may must settle.

[not fake]

I told him that I already received the money, spent it, and when he didn't like the agreement, I wasn't likely to sign another in order to please him not fake but without any faxing, people came face to face with a wide selection of options for trying to get bad credit payday advances.

[uk fun bingo accessories]

Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Extremely useful info specifically the last part :) I care for such information much. I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck.