Juggling Life

Leaving a Legacy

This isn't the first time I've blogged about how real people you know only through the internet can become. In this case, I know Charlotte through FB postings and reading her blog--she is an eating disorder activist, the mother of a daughter who had anorexia, and also a woman who has been given the news that she likely will not live much longer.

What is she doing with the time she has left? Leaving an amazing legacy.

Charlotte's Helix is an international collaboration seeking to bring the AN25K genetics initiative to the UK, in honor of the eating disorder advocacy work of Charlotte Bevan.

The goal of Charlotte’s Helix is to add at least 1,000 DNA samples from individuals with a lifetime history of anorexia nervosa in the UK to this international genetics initiative. Under the direction of Professor Cynthia Bulik, AN25K has the ambitious goal of collecting 25,000 DNA samples in order to"crack the code" that makes some people predisposed to an eating disorder.

I will be donating money, tweeting, FBing and, most importantly, talking to Social Butterfly about donating her DNA (since she had several piercings removed to participate in an MRI study, it won't be a hard sell). The above snippet talks about the UK, but the US arm of the study is being facilitated by University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Medical School.

How important my presence in the eating disorder community has become to me was highlighted within the last couple of weeks. I was presented with three opportunities and (even for a person that is clearly addicted to juggling life the way I am, I knew I could only realistically do two of them) need to make a hard choice.

I turned down a writing opportunity that I was so excited about that I'd said, "Yes!" without even thinking twice when it was originally proposed. I had to reconsider because I realized that eating disorder activism has become my calling--and is also a place where my writing will be valuable.

If you are so disposed, please spread the word about Charlotte's Helix--it's hard to know that Charlotte will be leaving, but lovely to know that she's leaving a legacy.  

Time Warp Tuesday: Way, way back

This photo turned up on FB a few days ago. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you can recognize me.

I was jazzed to see this. There are not a ton of pictures of me when I was a kid (hence, possibly, my desire to memorialize my own family so completely).

Anyway, I'm pleased to have it. My friend, Leslie, with the dark hair, I reconnected with on FB a couple of years ago and we've met a couple of times--once in Laguna Beach and once her. I owe her a visit to Santa Monica (where we met and where she still lives), so I need to get on that.

Leslie's sister (who I don't really remember and she doesn't really remember me) is also in the picture and we are with a family that we used to hang out with and help with the kids. Cool memories. 

When a 100-yr flood coincides with a once-a-summer visit . . . Part 1

Let me say first that I have nothing but empathy for the denizens of Colorado--what they're enduring is terrible. My up-close brush with a natural disaster was with a wildfire, but I know what a terrible and surreal experience it is. I hope this is the end of the flooding and I wish them godspeed in getting their lives and communities back to normal.

That said, I experienced the flooding from a much safer distance and this is the experience I had. 

For our 26th wedding anniversary (August 1), Mr. Fix-it and I gave each other a trip to Fort Collins to see MVP and Mandy's new digs. And also just because we think they are very cool people and we want to spend time with them. I booked the trip (on points! praise be to Southwestern's Rapid Rewards program) for Mr. Fix-it's birthday weekend. 

Thursday night's plan was for me to get home at 5, pack quickly and head to the airport for a 7:20 flight. The amended plan (praise be to getting a text message your flight is delayed before you've left for the airport) included renting a car, leisurely packing, a moderate amount of housework and a home pedicure before heading to the airport for an 10:50 flight. 

Budget was out of the compact rental car I'd reserved, so we got a Ford Expedition (which is a vehicle I pretty much hate due to its terrible gas mileage and the need to hoist oneself in and out of it). Sidenote: I tweeted about this and got a $20 credit from Budget.

Around 4 a.m. we were trying every route we could think of to get to Mr. Fix-it's place, but all were closed due to the flooding. Sidenote: I learned lots about the way the Poudre river runs. Eventually we stopped to ask a police officer for directions (I was fairly insistent at this point) who directed us to the very route that was next on Mr. Fix-it's list to try. If only I knew.

At this point, we decided to go to breakfast so we could legit say we pulled an all-nighter for MFI's 51st birthday (also, you know if you wake someone up at 4 a.m. they won't go back to sleep). We had the best food I've ever had at an iHop. The cook was great and we got to know a lot about the waiter working the night shift and was pretty hungry for intelligent conversation. It was a fitting segue into life in Fort Collins.

When we did get to MVP's place, and after a few hours shut-eye, we were pretty impressed with the view.

I'm a sucker for tree-filled view and a blue sky

It strikes me that as this is now at 453 . . . 454 . . . words, I'm going to save the rest of the story. I think you'll like the rest, so do come back. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time Warp Tuesday: Taking Liberties

I only have time for one post this week, so I'm tossing the rule book out for today. Social Butterfly's room has art and photographs all over--pictures and words that make her happy and lift her spirits and evidence of the happiness of good times with good friends. 

One of her collages--she also has motivational sayings on canvas.

Inset from above collage; I like the way she mixes interesting fonts and hand writing.

Through the magic that is the internet, I have become friends with a young woman in Texas. Her eating disorder is decades old and very entrenched. She knows the odds are not in her favor. She desperately wants to live, but is facing the prospect that desire alone might not be enough. So far, nothing she's tried has worked and resources are not unlimited, so she's trying on her own, doing the best she can in difficult circumstances.

I have lots of friends in real life and on the internet--enough of them to know that my internet friends are just real life friends I don't technically know in real life. I have felt real pain from a loss that by all rights should have been somewhat remote to me. Yet, my self-protective instinct is not as strong as my call to walk beside this young woman--to be a voice of hope, not judgment. Of empathy, not blame. Of validation, not codemnation. 

In my ideal world, the two of us kayak someday--both of us healthy--and then share a picnic lunch. 

Even if that doesn't happen, she still needs people to bear witness and encourage her, to celebrate the steps she does make, the bites she does take. To let her know her silliness brings a smile to someone's face. To teach her that you never leave a triple-triple open in Words. She needs friends and I am happy to be one of them.

Whether you're a prayer person, an in-your-thoughts-person or a good juju person (like me), her name is Jenny and I'd appreciate if you could send some love her way.

I am an adage/aphorism/axiom junkie, so these sayings speak to me; more importantly, every one of these symbolizes her work on recovery. 

Head over Susan's and Karen's places for some traditional Time Warp fun.

 

 

 

 

Time Warp Tuesday: Summers Past

This is a terrible picture from a technical standpoint, but it's what I was looking for from a memory standpoint. Remember, this was pre-digital, so we never knew what we got until we developed the film. Knowing a bit more about photography, it's pretty darn difficult to take decent photos in a pool--especially with a mix of full sun and full shade.

Scripps Ranch Swim and Racquet Club, circa 1995

Last week I posted the photo of the kids sitting under a tree, reading (kudos to Gary for noticing a not-yet-born child's absence). This week's photo is from the club where I started spending my summers from the time I was 12. It's kind of cool to have shared it with my own children.

A summer day for us when the kids were the ages they are in this pic would have been for us to hit the pool by 9 a.m., spend the morning, come home for lunch and naps, go back in the afternoon and have pizza on the pool deck with Mr. Fix-it joining us after work. We might not get home until it was time for bath and storytime (we did nightly baths as a matter of our evening routine--clean wasn't always the point).

Grownup Girl did a lot of summer camps, so there were many days I was on my own and I remember one memorable occasion from the very summer this photo was taken when I kept one hand resting on Social Butterfly's leg as she was mid-diaper-change on the lounge chair and stretched the other just in time to snag the ankle of a pool-bound Danger Boy just before he hit the water. 

Of course, there were other mothers and families who spent their days the same way we did (and I am in awe of the privilege this was for us all), so there was always conversation and camaraderie and adult beverages once in a while. Even for a mom, summer had a magical cast. Until the last two weeks when you weren't sure you had what it took to get to the back-to-school-day-summer-finish-line.

Sunday, Mr. Fix-it and I had a friend of mine and her daughter over for swimming and dinner and a game of Apples-to-Apples. For the first time this summer, I sat on the deck of the pool where I used to be a fixture. It was a sweet life. Not that I'd still want to be doing it, but it is fun to contemplate being an occasional visitor in that world--I would love for a third generation to grow up swimming there. 

I'm gearing up for a short, but very busy, work week after a great last-one-of-summer weekend. A concert in a friend's backyard--Steve Poltz; sooo much fun and a wee bit overly-drinky, the movie Elyseum on Saturday, the aforementioned pool and BBQ, and kayaking in the Big Bay today. And STILL I had time to watch most of Season 2 of Brothers and Sisters. Tonight it's homemade chocolate chip cookies and Breaking Bad. Mr. Fix-it is staying in San Diego for a work week for the first time in several weeks, and that's a nice change.

I'm still about six weeks from being able to pull out boots and tights weather wise, but it's beginning to feel like another changing season.

Be sure to visit Karen, Heidi and Susan to check out their Time Warp posts for this week.