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April 30, 2014


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On your behalf, I am made crazed by this "people have been talking" scenario. It's crazy-making because:

1) It's women at their worst, and there's no question, despite your lack of specifics, that these are women;

2) It's such a return to junior high, and didn't we all suffer through that hell once already?;

3) The implication of "whispered" assessments of you is that they don't respect you well enough to address this with you directly (even though they don't know you)...but, of course, their behavior is based out of cowardice and fear--and banding together to make themselves feel like they are something, which is somehow meant to neutralize all that you are;

4) Them's just bitches;

5) Ergo: yes, please, to working with men being hella easier than the dynamics women bring to virtually all situations.


I think easiness to work with depends more on how mature the person is, rather than the gender. Immature women foster drama, immature men have egos that need to be stroked.

Unfortunately, the blogosphere can get to be a little high school in some circles. You've experienced that before, if I remember correctly. I guess it is an occupational hazard of being outspoken on a controversial topic, right?


By the way, I've enjoyed your tweets about focusing on ED as a physical disease and not wasting time blaming the parents for the problem! It's refreshing. Too many therapists have been trained to immediately look for a psychological cause.

She Curmudgeon

You could take it as a compliment, in a way-- your energy and justified anger & feelings on the subject (thanks for the elephant journal link) are making people uncomfortable, and rather than think about their own in/action & examine their own thoughts on the subject, they've chosen to pick on you instead. You've hit a nerve.

You're entirely right that you should just keep on keeping on. Your activism might be a trigger for others, but that doesn't mean it isn't important or that it isn't needed. It just means that people who can't handle the truth need to check themselves and stay out of your way.

And I like the tattoo. : )

Busy Bee Suz

I'm so glad you take the criticism from those who don't 'really' know you with a grain of salt. haters. :)
I've never been a fan of tattoos….but I'm started to soften up to them. Yours? That is just awesome and it tugged at my heart!

gary rith

Mmm hmm, I have faced to concern of the gaggle of strangers I have never met here on the net too, and it is possibly the same gang concerned with YOU (in this small world ;) Pisses you off...but then you realize at least you don't REALLY have to hang out with them, face to face or otherwise, do you? You are doing everything very well, IMHO :)


Wow! on the tattoo! I love it, and I'm envious you were brave enough to do it :-)

And ditto everything Jocelyn and Suburban Correspondent said!


Wow, that is a lot to take in. I recently had a good friend - like, one who I've known for twenty years - tell me that I'm an a-hole and I expect too much from people. This was done under the guise of "I know you're going through a lot, so you may not realize what you're doing." I'm trying to be understanding (there must be something going on to have prompted this, right?!), but I'm still working on it.

Enough about me. Cool tattoo! Love that that's one way you celebrated your birthday.

Green Girl in Wisconsin

First, I think your commitment and you pouring out your energy is fantastic. And you are totally at a point in life to channel it in a different way as you used to with an empty nest, so WHY NOT?
Brava to you. It seems to me like you're working, celebrating, advocating and networking in a way many of us would feel privileged to do.
It inspires me.
Second,I'm not much for the tats, but that is a pretty cool one and very meaningful. Much cooler than some kid getting a random butterfly tramp stamp;)

Karen (formerly kcinnova)

In the end, I've decided that whatever and whomever the amorphous "concerns" are, they nothing to do with me and I choose to not let it take up real estate in my brain. I'm calling that a win for maturity.
AMEN! Your energy level and commitment to others is amazing. I admire you.

You are very brave to go with the tat in a sensitive area, but I love the imagery and meaning and the fact you will see it constantly. (I am also a pain wimp who hates needles, which means there is a 0.01% chance of me every getting a tat.)

And welcome home to your 2 youngest next week!


People who "converse at length" about anyone, without talking to the person directly about their "concerns" are not people that you need to give any thought to in my opinion. If I have a concern about you, I will tell YOU (nicely, of course), and I expect the same from you. Enough on that nonsense.
I'm a bit shocked you got a tattoo, and one in such a visible place, after the whole thing with MVP wanting one, but if it makes you happy then I'm for it. :)


I've lost a couple of 'friends' over the years when I cut them off at the pass as they made an attempt to rope me into a "Gossip/concern" circle of discussion about someone else. My response both times was "If you care enough to spend your own energy talking ABOUT this person, then you should care enough to talk TO this person. Otherwise this is an enormous waste of your time and energy and I can't support it."

I'm sure those responses meant that a circle of concern was formed around me, but I clearly don't give a crap :)

LOVE the tattoo! Since I'm about a year behind you in age and in Empty Nest status, I can tell you right now that all you are doing is inspiring me to be completely open to whatever might come my way in the near future.

Susan Walker

Let's face it: if we didn't have passionate, high energy people like you in this world, shit wouldn't get done. I wish I had half your energy!

I LOVE your tattoo. Awesomeness!


My time spent reading comments around the internet has informed me that there are a lot of people with ridiculous ideas, opinions and attitudes - so I would not take anything to heart written by those wackadoodles out there.

I don't think I will ever get a tattoo, but if I were to get one I hope it would be as thoughtful and personal as yours!

Claudia from Idiot's Kitchen

I'm a little late to the party here but I agree with the sentiments that your time is better served just ignoring these "concerned citizens." Anyone who knows social media as well as you do, knows that when you're hot you're hot. If you don't take advantage of the interest in your causes and in what you have to say in the moment, then you miss the entire point. If some perceive that as manic, then too bad. Seems to me that they just don't get it. Or don't want to get it.

Cool tattoo but OW! On the inside of the wrist is hard core!


Yes I was just telling my husband the other day that what others think of any of our situations is really not our problem. We are all who we are and if people don't like it that's their problem.

Nice tattoo! Is that your first? I play around with the idea of getting one every so often but I'm still not sure what I want.

Jokers Updates

One must enjoy life and should not get concerned about what people think about them. Live life freely.

P.S. I love the tattoo

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