Why I Never Say Never . . .

I had an experience recently that I've been mulling over and wasn't sure if I wanted to blog. Then I (finally!) had time to read this post by Mrs. G. not long after I read this article a friend shared on Facebook. 

It seemed a little bit like the universe saying "you write about what happens to you and it happend to you, so what's up?"

To which I responded, "good point."

I'm going to paint in pretty broad strokes here; the gist is that I was recently told that a collective of people--none of whom know me in real life, and whose names I still don't know--were "gravely concerned" with and conversing at length about my "manic" online presence and therefore my mental health.

I've had time to process both the exchange and my reaction to and thoughts about it. I've been able to run the scenario by some people I really admire and trust. 

In the end, I've decided that whatever and whomever the amorphous "concerns" are, they nothing to do with me and I choose to not let it take up real estate in my brain. I'm calling that a win for maturity. I control the way I feel, I don't let somebody else do it. 

The fact that I am a high-energy person who moves fast and covers lots of ground is not a liability to me. Nor is it to most people I live, work, play and advocate with both IRL and in the online circles in which I travel.

What I do have to ponder is why I let this knock me off my rhythm and I must admit it has. Things tend to happen in our lives for a reason, though, and I've had some positives come from this--that's what I choose to focus on. 

I will busier than normal for the next few weeks--I am rewriting curriculum at work, my program is expanding and I get to have someone I really enjoy working with (I dig working with guys--straightforward is their m.o. and that's mine as well. I have no time for veiled communication--too much to get done) on my team for the foreseeable future. Danger Boy and Social Butterfly come home in a week. I have a friend and her family coming to stay to go through the UCSD program. I am really enjoying writing my blog for UCSD and spending more time on Twitter. Been working the #truthinads hashtag pretty hard, as well as #MAEDvocate and #IEDAction. I lurve social media as a tool for activism.

I took a trip to Flagstaff last weekend with my friend Michele and her daughter Iris (10) to visit Social Butterfly and visit a college campus. Our plans went a little cattywampus due to snow--a lot of snow to me! Iris was dazzled by the snowfall and that was pretty amazing. Cards were played and fun was had and a wonderful MartAnn's breakfast was eaten. Of course, we drove a lot (learn from me: if you play Pandora for 15 hours through the desert you will lose virtually all your data for the month. Oy!).

Oh, yeah, this happened.

SB's drawing and the artist's rendition. This is the last of my 50th birthday presents. The flower inside the compass rose is a stephanoitis which means marital happiness. The kids' initials are at the four points. I am very happy with it. Oh, and unlike in insulin syringes, a smaller needle is not less painful. Holy razor blades, Batman!

 

 

 

Comments

[Jocelyn]

On your behalf, I am made crazed by this "people have been talking" scenario. It's crazy-making because:

1) It's women at their worst, and there's no question, despite your lack of specifics, that these are women;

2) It's such a return to junior high, and didn't we all suffer through that hell once already?;

3) The implication of "whispered" assessments of you is that they don't respect you well enough to address this with you directly (even though they don't know you)...but, of course, their behavior is based out of cowardice and fear--and banding together to make themselves feel like they are something, which is somehow meant to neutralize all that you are;

4) Them's just bitches;

5) Ergo: yes, please, to working with men being hella easier than the dynamics women bring to virtually all situations.

[suburbancorrespondent]

I think easiness to work with depends more on how mature the person is, rather than the gender. Immature women foster drama, immature men have egos that need to be stroked.

Unfortunately, the blogosphere can get to be a little high school in some circles. You've experienced that before, if I remember correctly. I guess it is an occupational hazard of being outspoken on a controversial topic, right?

[suburbancorrespondent]

By the way, I've enjoyed your tweets about focusing on ED as a physical disease and not wasting time blaming the parents for the problem! It's refreshing. Too many therapists have been trained to immediately look for a psychological cause.

[She Curmudgeon]

You could take it as a compliment, in a way-- your energy and justified anger & feelings on the subject (thanks for the elephant journal link) are making people uncomfortable, and rather than think about their own in/action & examine their own thoughts on the subject, they've chosen to pick on you instead. You've hit a nerve.

You're entirely right that you should just keep on keeping on. Your activism might be a trigger for others, but that doesn't mean it isn't important or that it isn't needed. It just means that people who can't handle the truth need to check themselves and stay out of your way.

And I like the tattoo. : )

[Busy Bee Suz]

I'm so glad you take the criticism from those who don't 'really' know you with a grain of salt. haters. :)
I've never been a fan of tattoos….but I'm started to soften up to them. Yours? That is just awesome and it tugged at my heart!
XO

[gary rith]

Mmm hmm, I have faced to concern of the gaggle of strangers I have never met here on the net too, and it is possibly the same gang concerned with YOU (in this small world ;) Pisses you off...but then you realize at least you don't REALLY have to hang out with them, face to face or otherwise, do you? You are doing everything very well, IMHO :)

[Cassi]

Wow! on the tattoo! I love it, and I'm envious you were brave enough to do it :-)

And ditto everything Jocelyn and Suburban Correspondent said!

[lanes]

Wow, that is a lot to take in. I recently had a good friend - like, one who I've known for twenty years - tell me that I'm an a-hole and I expect too much from people. This was done under the guise of "I know you're going through a lot, so you may not realize what you're doing." I'm trying to be understanding (there must be something going on to have prompted this, right?!), but I'm still working on it.

Enough about me. Cool tattoo! Love that that's one way you celebrated your birthday.

[Green Girl in Wisconsin]

First, I think your commitment and you pouring out your energy is fantastic. And you are totally at a point in life to channel it in a different way as you used to with an empty nest, so WHY NOT?
Brava to you. It seems to me like you're working, celebrating, advocating and networking in a way many of us would feel privileged to do.
It inspires me.
Second,I'm not much for the tats, but that is a pretty cool one and very meaningful. Much cooler than some kid getting a random butterfly tramp stamp;)

[Karen (formerly kcinnova)]

In the end, I've decided that whatever and whomever the amorphous "concerns" are, they nothing to do with me and I choose to not let it take up real estate in my brain. I'm calling that a win for maturity.
AMEN! Your energy level and commitment to others is amazing. I admire you.

You are very brave to go with the tat in a sensitive area, but I love the imagery and meaning and the fact you will see it constantly. (I am also a pain wimp who hates needles, which means there is a 0.01% chance of me every getting a tat.)

And welcome home to your 2 youngest next week!

[Jen]

People who "converse at length" about anyone, without talking to the person directly about their "concerns" are not people that you need to give any thought to in my opinion. If I have a concern about you, I will tell YOU (nicely, of course), and I expect the same from you. Enough on that nonsense.
I'm a bit shocked you got a tattoo, and one in such a visible place, after the whole thing with MVP wanting one, but if it makes you happy then I'm for it. :)

[Christina]

I've lost a couple of 'friends' over the years when I cut them off at the pass as they made an attempt to rope me into a "Gossip/concern" circle of discussion about someone else. My response both times was "If you care enough to spend your own energy talking ABOUT this person, then you should care enough to talk TO this person. Otherwise this is an enormous waste of your time and energy and I can't support it."

I'm sure those responses meant that a circle of concern was formed around me, but I clearly don't give a crap :)

LOVE the tattoo! Since I'm about a year behind you in age and in Empty Nest status, I can tell you right now that all you are doing is inspiring me to be completely open to whatever might come my way in the near future.

[Susan Walker]

Let's face it: if we didn't have passionate, high energy people like you in this world, shit wouldn't get done. I wish I had half your energy!

I LOVE your tattoo. Awesomeness!

[Brightside-Susan]

My time spent reading comments around the internet has informed me that there are a lot of people with ridiculous ideas, opinions and attitudes - so I would not take anything to heart written by those wackadoodles out there.

I don't think I will ever get a tattoo, but if I were to get one I hope it would be as thoughtful and personal as yours!

[Claudia from Idiot's Kitchen]

I'm a little late to the party here but I agree with the sentiments that your time is better served just ignoring these "concerned citizens." Anyone who knows social media as well as you do, knows that when you're hot you're hot. If you don't take advantage of the interest in your causes and in what you have to say in the moment, then you miss the entire point. If some perceive that as manic, then too bad. Seems to me that they just don't get it. Or don't want to get it.

Cool tattoo but OW! On the inside of the wrist is hard core!

[momtaxijulie]

Yes I was just telling my husband the other day that what others think of any of our situations is really not our problem. We are all who we are and if people don't like it that's their problem.

Nice tattoo! Is that your first? I play around with the idea of getting one every so often but I'm still not sure what I want.

[Jokers Updates]

One must enjoy life and should not get concerned about what people think about them. Live life freely.

P.S. I love the tattoo