Let me preface this by saying I am a mom who made all my own baby food, made sure our milk and chicken were antibiotic-free and didn't allow TV on weekdays, the better to be outside running around after school. Added to that, as a parent volunteer and a teacher, I've seen far too many lunches that consist of two bags of chips and a soda. Don't get me started on the loss of daily P.E. and adequate recess in our schools.
I am VEHEMENTLY opposed to any type of specific nutritional education and BMI/Fitness testing in our schools.
Whaaaaat? You ask. Whyyyyyy? You ask. Let me tell you, I reply.
Because in addition to the above, I am also the mother of a daughter in recovery from anorexia. Because I know things I never knew before about eating disorders and genetic predispositions and at-risk personality traits. Because nutritional education is likely triggering eating disorders in younger and younger children. Because the obesity epidemic--a complicated intersection of agricultural policy, urban design, and social and educational policies, and a dieting culture is not going to be solved by teaching kids that sugar or fat are bad. Not for that child and not for all children.
Because all this talk about good and bad foods, healthy and unhealthy behaviors, and the attendant fat-shaming as you share cautionary tales of unhealthy lifestyles, harms and kills kids. And while obesity might kill your child someday, anorexia is happy to do it today.
For children who are people-pleasers, who are perfectionistic, who are black-and-white thinkers, that nutrition unit is a finger firing a trigger on the loaded gun of genetic predisposition.
Talk to the parents of an anorexic (there are other eating disorders of course, but this is where my expertise and experience lie) and the stories sound so similar it would be comical if it was at all laughable.
It goes like this: their child decided to follow some rules about food and exercise-rules their teachers and parents taught him/her. (This is where that personality profile comes in--children who go on to develop anorexia are generally really good students and overall terrific kids--smart and creative are common adjectives. They want to make you happy and they want to do things right.) At first, you usually congratulate yourself on parenting that mythical unicorn of a kid--the one that loves an apple better than a cookie, the one that would rather take a walk than watch TV. High-fives all around.
If you're the parent of a little, you probably pick up some issues right away. If you're the parent of an older kid, it may take awhile. One day, you realize you are scared out of your motherfucking mind because you CAN'T get your kid to eat. CANNOT DO IT. If you're lucky, as I was, you have a great pediatrician, a phenomenal program nearby, and insurance that does what insurance is supposed to do. If you're not lucky, you struggle to find help as your child gets sicker and you deal with clueless clinicians and then when you do find help, you have to mortgage your house to pay for it. If you're lucky like me, your daughter is alive, in recovery, and goes to college. If you're not lucky, your son is dead; many sufferers die of medical complications and suicide while waiting to access treatment. When treatment is available quickly, the 20% mortality rate plummets.
Back to my original point: think about this--you take a kid who is a rule-follower and a people-pleaser and a perfectionist and a black-white thinker and say:
Sugar is BAD
Fruit is GOOD
Fat is BAD
Vegetables are GOOD
Soda is BAD
Water is GOOD
Being sedentary is BAD
Being active is GOOD
The fun, creative, kid you love more than life itself takes this information to heart and begins to restrict eating and starts exercising for fitness. And they are GOOD at it--oh, so good; no days skipped, no cheating--it's impressive initially. At some point, the period of malnutrition and/or weight loss flips the switch in their brain and they no longer have control over what and how much they eat--the disease now dictates food consumption and exercise--and your life as you knew it is over and so is your child's.
You can have immediate access to the best treatment in the world as our family did and you are still looking at a minimum of two years before you can quit holding your breath. Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness for a reason; anorexia is a bitch of a disease and tenacious beyond your wildest nightmare.
This is my plea to you; mother to mother, teacher to teacher: MODEL balance in your food choices and your activity level and keep your mouth shut; let your actions speak for you as you eat balanced meals and go out for ice cream now and then and take family bike rides or walks. If the obesity epidemic is your issue, I get it. But tackle it among adults, not among kids: advocate at all levels of government for changes to our agricultural policies that affect our food supply, for urban design and public transportation interface that give us walkable cities, for reintroducing movement and nurses into schools--these are ALL important issues and I support your work.
But please, LEAVE the children out of it--it might be your daughter who goes from being the adorable third--grader who delighted both you and her teacher with the outline she drew for reading and writing her first chapter book report in third grade to the 17-year old who missed the last semester of high school because she decided that she could avoid the Freshman 15 in college if she got a head start on adhering to reasonable "healthy eating and exercise" rules.
I encourage a dialogue about this and welcome your questions. There is a lot of common ground on what we are #FedUp with and we all have the same common goal--to safeguard the health and welfare of ALL our children.
The other problem with most nutritional education is that most people who are obese (and I count myself among them, this isn't having a go) are fully aware that an unhealthy lifestyle isn't a good idea. The underlying factors are far more complicated than "just eat less" would suggest. So not only is this education triggering people with predilections to eating disorders, it isn't helping solve the wider problem. Like SB, I'm very fortunate to live in a country (the UK) that has health care available and to be receiving help. Teaching anything as important as PSHE in black and white is never, never going to solve a complex societal problem.
Posted by: Katie Jennings | May 18, 2014 at 03:06 AM
I used to read some food blogs (Marion Nestle, for example), and there were always the comments that were SO against any kind of public policy that might lead to a healthier lifestyle. As a generalization, Americans are a group of people who feel that if you can't do it on your own, your a lesser person. They are so scared of the government that they refuse to see the role it has played in creating the food problem in the US and refuse to acknowledge that public policy can actually be helpful. Drives me NUTS.
Posted by: Cassi | May 18, 2014 at 12:51 PM
"And while obesity might kill your child someday, anorexia is happy to do it today."
Wow. What a convincing way of saying that.
Posted by: lanes | May 20, 2014 at 05:37 AM
Honestly, Jenn, I find this article a bit frightening. As you know, my son is a people pleaser and rule follower (at least at this point in his 7 year old life). I think I do a pretty good job of modeling good eating habits, but I admit that I fail at modeling the importance of exercise. We got an exercise bike, and when he noticed the numbers (he loves math) that tell you how many calories you've burned, that became a game to him - to see if he could get a higher number than the last time. He thought that burning calories = good, so the more you burn the better. We had to talk to him and explain some things about calories, nutrition, the needs of kids vs the needs of adults, etc. I don't think information is ever BAD, so long as things aren't presented in black/white terms like you listed. I'm not sure it is such a bad thing to explain that eating more fruits and vegetables and the other foods in moderation is better for our bodies.
Posted by: Jen | May 20, 2014 at 12:04 PM
So many important and educational points raised here. True, obesity is real, but I just can not see how putting the responsibility on kids is going to solve it. Unfortunately I CAN see that responsibility leading to eating disorders in kids. As noted, this is a societal rather than individual issue and should be treated as such. The obesity epidemic can't and won't be solved at an individual level, but eating disorders can certainly be triggered at the individual level. Also, due to the amount of misinformation, stigma, myths etc around eating disorders still, even the best teachers and parents(unless they have dealt with ED in some way in their life) likely have no idea what they're risking with the way they are teaching this anti-obesity material (ex: good food/bad food; good kids exercise/lazy kids don't etc). It is imperative that we, as a society take this into consideration as what is likely to happen is increased fear of food, more dieting, and more life threatening eating disorders. On a personal note, I believe similar nutrition education was one trigger for my own anorexia. Sure, I was always somewhat anxious and a perfectionist growing up, I lost loved ones and dealt with PTSD... and most importantly, I had the genetic predisposition for anorexia just waiting for the perfect trigger so it could its ugly face! I do not think that it was a coincidence that anorexia took over me during a nutrition course I took my first semester of college. My eating habits became 'healthier,' I went to fewer parties, and started exercising more(and not for fun); then I found out I missed getting an A in the course by one lousy question on the final exam (mind you, this was the first B I had ever received in my life). I took that B to mean I was not 'good' enough at nutrition, said f* them,I will prove them wrong by doing BETTER that what they taught, and RAPIDLY descended into clinical anorexia.
Posted by: Lisa Springer | May 20, 2014 at 10:29 PM
Bravo...so well written and true.
Posted by: mrs. g. | May 21, 2014 at 06:51 PM
How about this? Amazing. http://nypost.com/2014/05/22/nyc-says-this-girl-is-fat/
Posted by: Denise | May 23, 2014 at 09:11 AM
As always Jen, I want to take what you write and post is in every newspaper, sing it loud on the radio and shout it from the rooftops! Thank you for always, and with such knowledge, putting out there eloquently, what so often parents struggle to find the words for.
Posted by: Lisa Guimont | May 23, 2014 at 10:56 AM
My son was a picky eater as a toddler, so much so that it seems like he never ate anything other than bread. And I remember feeling anxious about it, and once even BEGGED him to eat Chicken McNuggets, so my shame! But my pediatrician said, "he'll eat when he gets hungry."
And so he did. By age ten his menu had expanded some; by age 16 he was eating sushi. By age 19 he was exploring Chinese restaurants in Queens; by 23 he was living in London and cooking.
Posted by: Aunt Snow | May 25, 2014 at 05:45 PM
This is so interesting to me, my son's 4th grade class just finished a nutrition unit. They talked a lot about food groups, where food comes from and staying active. For the final project they had to come up with a plan for a healthy summer camp. What of the kids who do not have good parent role models? Soda and junk food taste good, kids need encouragement to make healthier choices, right? I was looking at it as a good thing, but thanks for showing me that it's more complex than that.
Posted by: Gab | May 30, 2014 at 03:52 PM
Bless your heart! I don't believe I have any experience with someone suffering from an eating disorder. I just have to say, as one mom to another, your insight and ability to share inspires me to look a little deeper...at how I am parenting my daughters and the other loving (possibly clueless) mothers around me. Information and awareness are such powerful tools. I cannot thank you enough. Best wishes to you and yours.
Posted by: Karen | June 04, 2014 at 12:40 AM
I am amazed by severe lack of knowledge of what constitutes a healthy diet (and my diet, I mean lifestyle). I can see from this post of yours how lucky I am that my strong-willed son decided to educate himself about nutrition beyond common thought. While I believe that he is extreme in some things (including his barefooting lifestyle, sucking marrow from bones, etc.), I know that he also understands that every body needs fat and fiber. He's the kid who makes sure we take our vitamins.
Posted by: Karen (formerly kcinnova) | June 12, 2014 at 01:09 AM