Juggling Life

2011 To-Do List--Done!

I generally have a mental checklist of things I have to do swirling through my brain. To keep the swirling from evolving into churning, I try to do things as they pop up so I can cross them off the list. I have lived by the adage of never touching a piece of mail twice (if you pick it up, you deal with it) for many years and it has served me well.

There has been one item on my list that never made it to the top of the list, but remained on the list for the last (gulp) four months. When Suzy Soro came to stay with me for BlogHerAdjacent, she brought me a t-shirt. A t-shirt I really wanted.  A t-shirt that showcased her blog. A t-shirt, that once I took a photo of myself in it would provide me with a slot on her sidebar.

Naturally, with that kind of pressure, I wanted the photo to be a good one (also because I'm a bit vain). For a good photo, it's best to have another person man the camera.

Tonight I saw my opening. I showered late, I had makeup on, Social Butterfly was at home and the light outside was mellow (and therefore kind).

The stars were aligned.

So I put on my glitziest chandelier earrings and my t-shirt and handed SB the camera. SB kindly gave me approximately 13 seconds of her time for this silliness.

Snap.

My 2011 Checklist is complete:

• Get a master's degree--check
• Get a job--check
• Get Danger Boy off to college--check
• Take a photo wearing my Hollywood: Where Hot Comes to Die t-shirt--check

Bring on 2012!

Happy New Year's to all!

BlogHer Flashback

I just saw this picture over at Suzy's the other day. She'd posted in on Twitter before I was on Twitter, so I missed it. It's a picture of me and Bossy--or rather, a picture of the back of my head and Bossy. For some reason this amuses me.

BlogHer . . . The Part that Freaked Me Out

I said I was done with BlogHer posts. I misspoke. This has been rattling around in my head and I want to share it with you.

I have been making a concerted effort to be more "in the moment" in my own life. Now, I am far from the worst when it comes to being constantly plugged in, but I am also far from the best (Hello, my name is Jenn and I am addicted to Words with Friends on my smartphone). I decided that, in attending BlogHer, I would not bring a laptop and I would strictly limit looking at my phone. I did that.

I was practically the only person to do that, though.

A very strange thing happened in the panel meetings (and this is a big reason I never sat through a whole one): there were round tables in the room, full of bloggers typing on their laptops, tablets or phones as the panelists spoke. Hardly anyone was actually looking at the speakers and people also weren't really interacting with one another.

It freaked me out.

The panelists are there to speak and connect with the audience--how can you truly relate with someone who is not looking at you? So much of communication is nonverbal.

I know that many bloggers were liveTweeting the discussions and a lot of them probably had obligations to post things later and needed to take good notes.

Still, it freaked me out.

I realize it's a conundrum--we were all there because we spend a lot of time on the internet--but that same internet felt, to me, like it prevented some of "real life" from unfolding.

Thoughts?

 

Joining the Conversation

Recently I have been reading some amazing posts about racism. It was worth joining Twitter to have made the acquaintance of Mocha Momma (she's big; I just didn't know of her). My friend Aaryn Belfer is writing--passionately and thought-provokingly as always--about race from her unique perspective as a white woman who is the mother of an (incredibly adorable) black daughter.

I completely missed the BlogHer incident that precipitated a slew of posts (so I've heard, I haven't read them); it involved the Sparklecorn party and a unicorn cake. Mocha Momma explains it better than I could.

You know I can't stay out of a conversation as important as this one.

It is incredibly hard to discuss race/ethnicity when you are white. This does not, of course, mean you should not do it. Most of the difficult dialogues I have surrounding ethnicity are with students that are Mexican, since that is the population I work with most frequently. I also have difficult conversations with other teachers--many of whom firmly believe that students of color just need to "get over it."

There is no handbook for how to discuss race and ethnic issues. I can only use my instinct and empathy to guide me.

My starting point for any conversation I have--with students, teachers or friends--is to acknowledge and own my status as a person that benefits from white privilege. This white privilege is nothing I seek; rather it is conferred upon me by society by virtue of my status as a person that is a member of the power structure of this country.

I believe my acknowledgement is a powerful tool; really the tool I can employ as a white woman that has the most impact on my conversations.

Our society is NOT post-racial. Racism exists. I will never have the experience of being discriminated against by a racist system.

I am not saying that my acknowledgement of this necessarily solves anything, but I do think it makes it more likely that I can have educational and enlightening conversations with all sorts of people.

I'd love to have your thoughts--join the conversation!

 

 

 

 

BlogHer Adjacent--The Final Post

At the Aiming Low party on Saturday night there was a "fortune teller" at the door--she'd give you a quick once over and then write on the sticker her impression of you. She said she was inspired by my smile. That made me happy and, boy howdy, did I have fun.

 Saturday afternoon found Suzy and I ensconsed at a cafe table outside the Starbucks at the Marriott--I downloaded Twitter onto my phone and Suzy had a youngster at the next table over show her how to send a Tweet on my phone announcing that she was ready to meet her peeps.

Her peeps came running.

Well, at least Backpacking Dad came running. Tanis, from Attack of the Redneck Mommy, merely sauntered.

Digression and background info: Tanis commented on my blog once and I responded to the comment with something along the lines of "I am totally verklempt, blah, blah, blah, you are a blogging godess, blah, blah, blah." I told Suzy this story and she ordered me never again to kiss anyone's ass or they would never respect me.

There Suzy, Shawn, Tanis and I sat, chatting about this and that--mostly philosophy, how much better-looking Shawn is in real life and the fact that everyone assumes that Tanis and Shawn are using blogging conventions as a cover for an affair. Twitter may have been mentioned once or twice.

Having spent 24 hours under the influence of Suzy's extreme "saltiness," looking for a laugh and not wanting to be thought of as an ass-kissing nobody, I told Tanis and Shawn they shouldn't for one minute think I was f***in' impressed to be  hanging with them.

I'm not sure they believed me.

Then Julie from Chubby Mommy Running Club stopped by and it didn't take me long to fall in love with her--and the Oh Shoes she was repping (teachers and comfy, stylish shoes are a match made in heaven). Now I'm really going to sound like I'm namedropping, but it is a fact that Bossy wandered by and stayed to catch up (which was really great, because I love me both some Bossy the blogger and Bossy the person).

Suzy would have to tell you the rest of what went on at BlogHer Adjacent, because JCK and I left to get our Closing Keynote Speech on--but I have no doubt that the end was as legendary as the beginning.

You can see now, why, in my first BlogHer post on Monday, I said I was still processing the experience.

It was fun. I was happy.

 

 I am tossing this in here because I can't leave it out, but I can't write another BlogHer post our you will turn on me hoisting pitchforks and torches--another person I met at BlogHer was a friend of JCK's, Diana, who blogs at Life Well Blended;  she is smart and lovely and amazing and she totally slayed me when she had to take a phone call from work because one of her fugitives had been caught. You should check her out!

BlogHer . . . The Suzy Soro Post

I've mentioned before that on paper Suzy Soro and I would appear to have nothing in common. Unless, of course, you count that I fact I love watching theshows Seinfield and Curb Your Enthusiasm and she's appeared on those shows. So there's that.

That's THE best thing about blogging--meeting people with whom you would never otherwise cross paths.

Suzy and I have been blog buddies for a couple of years now and the woman has given me some of the most sage advice I have ever been given (all the benefit of her years of therapy without my having to pay for it) on many topics. When she answered my invitation to stay at my home during BlogHer I was thrilled. Suzy's plan ended up being to save money by not actually attending BlogHer, but setting up camp in the lobby of the Marriott and having a "BlogHer Adjacent"* event.

And an event it was.

Before I tell that story though . . .  she had to get to my house. Which turned out not to be as easy as just driving down the 5--what with her cell phone going missing in El Toro (she had the earpiece in, but could not locate the actual phone) and then the car accident right in front of her that left her on the freeway outside Camp Pendleton for so long that she enlisted (her joke, not mine).

Because her cell phone ended up set to "home only" she wasn't actually able to let me know when she was close, but I timed it right and Danger Boy only had to entertain the crazy blogger lady Mom invited for the night for a few minutes. She got her stuff settled in the guest room, we sat down on the couch and then we started talking. For three hours straight. Then we went out for Thai food and talked for another couple of hours. Then she asked me to tell her about an issue in my life, but I could only use the word "I." Then my head exploded. That is HARD y'all.

Pre-BlogHer Adjacent Suzy had tea and cookies for breakfast. She was so impressed with the cookies (homemade by Danger Boy) that she woke him up to thank him. Waking up an 18-year old to say thanks? That? Is all kinds of awesome. The kind of awesome that would never occur to the mother of a teenager.

Post breakfast (and Verizon store visit), but still pre-BlogHer Adjacent, Suzy and I attended a blogger luncheon at JSix. Being a woman of (fairly) humble means who is in the process of paying for multiple college educations at once I can tell you that it was the fanciest, most delicious meal I am likely to have for some years to come. Heirloom tomatoes! Fresh cheeses made on the premises! Cured meats! Tuna tartare! Cheesecake bites! It was a culinary delight to be sure.

Thanks to Twenty Four at Heart for the pic--she's an amazing photographer (with a bionic arm!)

The company? Just a few bloggers nobody's ever heard of like Scary Mommy, Bern This, Little Hen House, The Bitchin' Wife, Momo Fali, Twenty Four at Heart, Ann's Rants, Perlman Update, GDRP Empress, AnyMommy, Lil Welsh Rabbit. Oh wait, you HAVE heard of those bloggers? Some were KEYNOTE speakers at BlogHer?! Thanks so much, to San Diego Momma for including me in the fun.**

Seeing as how I'm at 556 words now--and still typing--I'm going to save BlogHerAdjacent for tomorrow. Be sure to check back for THAT story--it includes more high-profile bloggers and profanity!

 

*Inspired by those who leave in East Hollywood, but say they live "Beverly Hills Adjacent." Hah.

*If I've omitted anyone it was accidental!

 

 

 

 

BlogHer Moments . . . It's All About the People

I said I wasn't going to BlogHer to learn to monetize my blog--and, as it turns out, I didn't actually sit through a whole panel discussion. BlogHer for me was about the people--and, actually, it turned out some of the parts of BlogHer didnt' happen at BlogHer.

My BlogHer experience started on Thursday when JCK and I sat at the lake by my home eating spicy chicken sandwiches from my local deli, noshing on sliced mango and talking about our handsome and spirited sons--my Danger Boy and her BOY. She is IN for it--and I mean that in the best possible way.

That evening I got to share the delights of the La Jolla Children's pool with the irrepressible, blue-eyed daughter of Magpie Musing. She didn't want to leave and who could blame her? I was tickled to hear that her dad took my advice and they went back to the beach the next day where she promptly learned to boogie board. I would post a picture of Magpie and me, but it hasn't made it from her iPhone to my inbox--I suspect she's busy having fun in the California sun.

I was sitting in a panel Friday when I started getting texts from the lovely and talented Aaryn Belfer--who, incidentally, was sitting in the same room. One thing led to another and the next thing you know we were sitting at a table in the Sails Pavilion of the Convention Center solving the problems of the world. Obama--call us before you make your next move. We have thoughts.

Friday night heralded the arrival of Suzy Soro, from Hollywood: Where Hot Comes to Die, on my doorstep. And really? She deserves her own post. More tomorrow!

 

BlogHer Moments . . . The First in a Series

My experience at BlogHer is not one that can be encapsulated in a single post or in a linear way--so I thought I'd spend this week sharing some of the moments that made it a memorable experience; there were many.

Also? The whole thing was a bit overwhelming and it may take me all week to process it!

  The rooftop terrace at the Marriot Hotel

Saturday night--the final night of BlogHer--was a party night the likes of which I have not seen since, well, ever.Yes, I realize that outs me as soooooo not a party animal, but that is the brutal truth.

JCK and I started out the evening at the Social Fiesta party--it was sponsored by the Latina Bloggers and I am telling you that if I ever get another invite to a Latina Bloggers party I am going. The setting was stunning, the food was amazing, the music was great, they were serving Jack Daniels (not to me, yuck, but to JCK--I had vodka Collins) and the male dancers (think Ricky Martin in triplicate) were *ahem* entertaining.

When the Marriott terrace got a little too chilly we moved down to the Aiming Low party--which had the benefits of a) a totally cute guy from BlogFrog who bought* JCK, BOSSY and I drinks and b) a couch for JCK and I to rest upon in comfort (kudos to JCK's eagle eye for knowing when to swoop in as someone else stood up) as we drank, people watched and talked books, films and Meyers-Briggs profiles (now you're thinking, "no wonder she doesn't get invited to a lot of parties!").

It was already well past my usual bedtime (this makes well after midnight for one solid week peeps--I may well turn into a pumpkin tonight) when we hit the elevator for the quick ride to the CheeseburHer party. I'm going to grimace, and you will to, but I just have to say it this way: the party was off the hook.

I have said this before, but it bears repeating. I do not dance well. I dance like an uptight white girl with no rhythm. Which is, to repeat, I don't dance well. Therefore, I need to have a fair amount of the  ultimate social lubricant, alcohol, in my system before I lose enough inhibition to risk Elaine Benes-style humiliation on the dance floor. The thing was, I had to drive home so there could be no overconsumption of alcohol. Moderate consumption ending hours before I drove, yes; overconsumption, no.

It turns out that being in a room full of other people that are having a blast dancing to Ce-Lo Green's Forget You can be just the impetus I need to say, WTF! So I danced. And danced, and danced. I did say to Backpacking Dad, "When I think I can dance, that's an indication I shouldn't be driving" but truly I was being moved by the music and the company and the lingering aroma of McDonald's french fries.

 It was 12:30 a.m. when JCK and I parted company--she to the glory of an empty hotel room (a luxury that the mother of young children appreciates like no one else!) and me to the parking lot across the street to retrieve my car. I walked out of the hotel with Stacie and by the time we got to the lot we were good enough friends that I gave her a ride to her hotel. That right there is another snapshot of what BlogHer is all about.

 

*He used drink coupons, but it's the thought that counts!