Juggling Life

Blogging, Helpful

I wasn’t going to post more about the demise of my friendship, but, WOW, you all DID make me feel better—mostly because so many of you have been through the same thing and absolutely get the place I am, and have been, in over the past few months.

I believe I’ve written before about how often books echo what’s going on in my life and resonate with me deeply. This passage from Jodi Picoult’s, “Handle with Care,” was one such example:

Besides the obvious difference, there was not much distinction between losing a best friend and losing a lover: it was all about intimacy. One moment, you had someone to share your biggest triumphs and fatal flaws with; the next minute, you had to keep them bottled inside. One moment, you’d start to call her to tell her a snippet of news or to vent about your awful day before realizing you did not have the right anymore; the next, you could not remember the digits of her phone number.

There is nothing I could ever write that would come close to nailing it the way Jodi Picoult did—it really took my breath away when I came across it. The book blurb didn’t even give a hint that this book was about friendship, so it was almost eery.

Some of the things I learned from this experience are:

Not everything is about me—what happened in this instance was not about anything I did or said or didn’t do or didn’t say. For someone who never stops trying to make things right, this was a huge lesson.

A lot of people think it’s okay to walk away from a friendship without communicating why. I gleaned this from the comments at The Women’s Colony. I still don’t agree with or understand this sentiment; it’s not something I would be able to do, but I have a little more understanding of why people do this. That said, if you are inclined to do this, I think you should ask yourself if you’re doing it from fear of confrontation—if you are, perhaps it would be good for your personal growth to do the hard thing and share your thoughts—even if it’s just via email.

My family really does have my back. They were all very supportive as I worked through this—even though it did mean they listened to me say the same things over and over as I tried to understand why this was happening.

Not that I ever doubted it, but I am made of tough stuff—I get knocked down, but I always get up again!

In honor of all your awesome support, I’m going to give away that Jodi Picoult book—because it was a great book about friendship and I really treasure my blog friends. Next Monday I’ll pick from the comments on yesterday’s post.

Speaking of giving books away, the winners from last week’s post on 29 are commenters #7 and #16:

How about 17...that was a turning point for me, I would try a bit harder and make some better choices!!!!
I love cupcakes.

Posted by: busy bee suz | June 21, 2010 at 01:09 PM

I'd be 22. No wait. That was the year I taught high school and (no offense) was miserable. Okay, 20.

Pick me. :)

and my brother worked in the Magnolia bakery for several years. He had an Engineering degree but worked as a cupcake froster. We joked he was the best educated cupcake froster ever!

Posted by: CC | June 21, 2010 at 05:23 PM

Oh—to answer my own question, I think I might pick 32—nobody in diapers, but lots of kids running around having a great time. Summer meant the beach, the club, the neighbor’s pool, lots of games of long toss and nothing much more than that.

A Cupcake of a Book

This book—both review and giveaway copies—were given to me by Touchstone/Fireside Publicity, Simon and Schuster.

Most of the time we try to eat well—veggies, lean protein, whole grains. Sometimes, though, you just need a cupcake.

I feel the same way about books. I read a lot of “literature.” Lately I’ve been on a Jhumpa Lahiri kick. It’s great stuff—and good for me, too. But every once in a while you need a cupcake read—something light, fluffy and just for fun.

If Adena Halpern’s novel, 29, were a cupcake it would have been made by Magnolia bakery and devoured by Carrie and friends on an episode of Sex and the City.

It is that light, that fluffy and that delicious.

It’s a bit of a Freaky Friday with a twist—79-year old Ellie Jerome makes a birthday wish that has her waking up as her 29-year old self. Not unexpectedly,  hilarity ensues. Followed by a little heartbreak. Soul-searching is involved. There’s family drama, friend drama and romantic drama. Plus, clothes!

As the book blurb states, “Fresh, funny and delightful, 29, is an enchanting adventure about families, love, and the real lessons of youth.”

One of the things I really liked about this is that sometimes books that are a little lighter in subject matter and are a little too light for me in length—I like to be able to savor a cupcake read. This book is the perfect length for a little savoring.

I liked this book so much that I asked the publicist for another copy to give away—so you’ve got two chances to win. I’ll give my review copy as well as the giveaway copy—lucky you!

Leave me a comment and tell me what age you would be if you got the chance to do it over for a day and I’ll pick a winner next Monday.

Guilty confession—I just got the last three winners books sent off (Hi Janet! Hi Stephanie! Hi Nancye! The book is in the mail!). I did stock up on padded mailers and school is over, so I promise to get these books sent off post-haste.

Straight Talk About Sex and Other Stuff (A Book Review)

I’ve mentioned before that one of my favorite perks of blogging is getting books to review. Reading is my favorite past-time and sharing my opinion is a close second. Plus, did I mention? Free books.

When I got the invite to review this book, I didn’t hesitate for a second. You know what I think about giving girls accurate information—even when the results are hilarious and embarrassing.

Since I have access to some girls just the right age to weigh in on this book, I availed myself of the opportunity. I turned these two loose with the book with instructions to report back.

As it turns out, Social Butterfly’s friend Peanut, may have a future as a book reviewer herself. I’m just going to quote her and call it a day!

I liked the book for many reasons. I thought the book was very enjoyable to read and very informative. The author wrote it in a way that any girl in my grade, maybe even younger, would understand.

It was funny and cute the way she would put “eh?” and things like that. She wrote it in a teen kind of way and I thought that was a good idea. I also liked how basically every chapter she'd write a short story about something she went through or how her patients tell her things and ask for help. Just the stories give you help and advice. But then there are also the "did you know" sections, true or false, rules, facts and other little boxes that are spread out around the whole book.

There is a section called, “The Wait-Till-Eighteen Club: Why Membership Has Its Privileges” giving her opinion why teenagers should wait. I thought that if someone who was thinking of having sex, this would help them stop themselves.

The book gives information that some people may be too scared or embarrassed to ask anyone. Then there’s a part, where if someone was planning on having sex, it gives you the many choices on how to be safe. Even if the reader wasn’t ready it still shows the options and informs you about them.

Another good thing is its not all about sex. There’s a story where a patient of hers gets a piercing that she regrets, and she helps her take it out. The book also covers healthy foods to eat, information about drinking, smoking and cancer, and many more topics.

Overall the book is really helpful on helping you know your body. If anyone had any questions going in the book I’m pretty positive all of them would be answered by the time you read the whole thing.

I second all of the above. The girls and I agreed that the author, Dr. Jennifer Ashton, writes in a style that makes you feel like your getting information from your favorite aunt—the one that is your mother’s younger, hipper sister.

I’m going to throw in my seasoned mom advice here—the book is fantastic, but the most important thing is that you be having conversations with your kids about sex. The way to be able to accomplish openness and exchanges of accurate information is to start talking to them when they’re very young and never stop. To those people who can’t imagine talking to a seven-year old about sex, I say, “if you can’t talk sex with your seven-year old, you will never be able to talk sex with your 17-year old.”

My strategy has been to use popular media—music, TV, magazines—to get the conversations rolling. The health units in school are also great for this purpose. The bottom line though is that you have to be comfortable enough to talk about anything. We have actually had dinner table conversations about blow jobs. If you only have little kids this may sound crazy, but if you have teens you know this is something that needs to be discussed.

Social Butterfly, Peanut and I all give this book an enthusiastic thumbs-up. If you’ve got a daughter, niece or friend that’s a teenager, this book would make a great addition to her library.

A Picture (as in Art!) and an Offer

While I wait to get a Master’s degree in Education Administration (I can’t do this until I’ve taught for three years) I’ve found another excuse to go back to school. 30 units of art classes will get me a supplemental authorization in art. So I guess it’s back to community college! (If I can get in in the current economic meltdown—I’ve heard it’s very difficult to get classes, especially if you already have a B.A.)

 

You know I’m a big fun of Klutz books and crafts—if you are too (and why wouldn’t you be?), here’s a great coupon code offer for you. Happy Shopping!

Vampires Are Not Just for Girls (A Giveaway Post)

Danger Boy was an avid reader (I’m sure he will be again someday—there’s something about all the assigned reading of high school that is—sadly—a bit of a turn-off to recreational reading; but I digress) when he was younger.

There have been four book series that he has treasured beyond all others. There was Harry Potter, of course, The Merlin Series, The Ender books, and his favorite of all, Darren Shan’s Cirque Du Freak books.

He discovered these books in 4th grade and it was one of those series where you had to be at the bookstore on the release date of the next book—come hell or high water. Especially exciting was when Darren Shan visited our local Barnes and Noble and he was able to have his books autographed.

These are books that are not going to end up in Mom’s future classroom. Ever.

Darren Shan was writing truly amazing vampire stories long before Twilight ever set teenage girls atwitter.

So, when I found out there was a giveaway for the October 23 movie release of A Vampire’s Assistant (rated PG-13) I actually asked to do it. I don’t ever ask for anything! They said “yes!”

The series is recommended for sixth grade and up and, having read a couple of the books myself, I’d say this is a pretty accurate estimate. Of course you know your kid better than I do, and Danger Boy was fine reading them in 4th grade.

So, here’s the giveaway.

THE VAMPIRE’S ASSISTANT

MOVIE GIVEAWAY

One (1) Grand Prize winner receives:

• $50 Fandango.com Gift Card
• Vampire’s Assistant Backpack, T-Shirt & Locker Mirror!
• Cirque du Freak book (includes the first 3 titles from the series)

How darn cool is that?!

 

Leave me a comment telling me who you’ll go to the movie with and I’ll pick a winner two weeks from today. Good luck!

This and That (cough, cough, cough)

Thanks for all the well-wishes for my health—I’m ever-so-slowly (you’d think I wasn’t young anymore or something) on the mend. Talking 7 hours a day doesn’t do much to give your voice a rest. Also, it’s a total bummer when your Robitussin with Codeine wears off at 3 a.m. and you can’t take more because you have to get up in 2+1/2 hours, so you just stay awake hacking up half a lung, unable to read because your eyes vibrate with every wracking cough. I know—melodramatic who?!

I’ve got a full weekend planned—dinner with a friend from out of town on Friday night (I was upfront about my 8:30ish bedtime—I think I’d turn into a pumpkin if I wasn’t drugged and in bed by then), Saturday I’m going to put on my chauffer’s hat and just go where the Homecoming crew tells me to drive and Sunday I’m going to handcuff myself to my laptop and work on jumping through a little 15-page hoop called the California Teacher’s Performance Assessment Task 3. It’s NEW! and IMPROVED! and I can’t wait to get to it!

Enough about me though—onto the winner of last week’s Winter’s Tail drawing. The random number generator choose #13.

Wow this looks like a great book and even if I don't win it I will probably buy it for my 10yo daughter who wants to be a marine biologist. She is so into animal studies that the Internet isn't enough for her current report, she "needs to go library because the Intenet isn't as good as reading a book."

Posted by: Patti Flesher | October 02, 2009 at 10:41 AM

It looks like the giveaway is going to just the right place! Send me your contact info Patti and I will pass it on. It looks like I’m going to do some more giveaways/reviews from the same people, so keep checking back for your chance to win.

My Life in Diets

Disclaimer: There is a review included in this post. Which doesn't mean it's not worth reading!

Let's see . . . there was the Carbohydrate Addict's Diet (high protein, you eat whatever you want for an hour a day). It worked, but I think it may have been a bit unattractive to those around me to watch me shovel food in my mouth for an solid hour each day.

Atkins, of course, which is probably better for people who actually like steak. I enjoy one good Filet Mignon a year. This year I had it at a restaurant in Chicago with Blognut and the memory still makes me swoon. Maybe two a year. The steak I had on my anniversary was darn tasty as well.

The Fat Flush Diet works great and is a very healthy way of eating--it's just again with the protein thing--have I mentioned that I'm not a big meat eater?

I'm O positive, so the blood type diet might work for me--eat lots of meat and no carbs. Ummm, no.

These diets are just the tip of the iceberg--I'm a yo-yo dieter from the get-go, though I will say that I have never done crazy crash diets--I tend to go for "eating plans" that have a healthful component and are "lifestyle" changes.

Yo-yo means up and down, so it's clear I know how to lose weight. I've even been pretty good at keeping weight off for fairly long stretches of time. Four years the last time. (My mother died and I gained 30 lbs. in 2 months, taking me to my highest weight ever. I got a grip, ate right, exercised, lost 60 lbs. in one year, kept it off and then was thoroughly derailed by the 2008 deaths of my sister and friend. Yes, I recognize the emotional eating component).

Anyway, here I am in late 2009, having regained about 35 of those 60 lbs. over a year and a half and at a weight that makes me know it is absolutely time to get another grip. (I knew it already, but decided I wasn't going to let it ruin my summer--consuming lots of Champagne and losing weight are non-compatible and I really wanted the Champagne).

At this point in my life, my goals as far as weight are:

1. Be healthy

2. Be fit

3. Don't be fat (I'm okay with a little overweight)

So . . . It is time to get serious. I do really well when my life is very structured-so starting to work full-time was already going to be helpful. Plus, my older kids are not home and they are the ones that really love Mom's home cooking (the younger two are content with a thrown-together whatever and my husband is traveling a lot). My exercise partner agreed to move our work-out time to 4 p.m., so we can keep up our 3-day a week routine. All systems for success in place.

Then . . . I got an email from the manufacturers of a product called Sensa. I'd been reading about this interesting concept for a while (in Oprah and Time) and was already intrigued by the idea (my interest, however, conflicted with my frugality). They offered me a 6-month free trial if I would review the product on my blog. I researched it a bit and decided to give it a try. What appeals to me about this system is that it isn't a drug and it is designed to help me do what I already know works--exercise moderation in my eating and eat healthy food. I'm stellar in the healthy food department--it's the moderation that needs some assistance. For me, this seems like it is worth a try.

I'm not going to turn this into a diet blog and I am never going to tell you the weight I started at, but I will fill you in on my progress occasionally. I've been  at it for a week and I must say the product seems to be working as promised. I haven't had seconds at all and I actually left some rice pilaf on my plate at Daphne's Friday night (that may well be a first). It's easy to use (odd looks when you shake it on food notwithstanding). I lost 3 lbs. I feel great because I'm eating about 10 servings of fruits and veggies a day. I'm not feeling deprived because I will occasionally have a small snack of Hummus and pita chips or something else I really enjoy.

I've also discovered a great new food. I didn't get this for free, but I love it so much I wanted to share. It's noodles made of tofu. The brand is Shiratake and I get them from Henry's. Their are only 20 calories in 8 oz. It's super easy to make my family a pasta dish and then just serve myself the tofu noodles. I love to dice up an eggplant, saute it with some garlic and onion in olive oil and then toss the noodles in.

If you should want to give Sensa a try yourself, they're making a 60-day free trial available to my readers, along with a gift card to Glow.com. Click on this link to check it out.

It's Friday--Time for a Giveaway!

This guy--in addition to being devastatingly handsome (I may be biased here)--was a major lover of action figures. Batman was his absolute favorite, but he could make a game out of any and every action figure--with our without a playmate. He was a Lego fanatic, too. The hours we spent together assembling the Rapid River Village after his fifth birthday are seared held dear in my mind forever.

When this giveaway opportunity presented itself, I thought of Danger Boy and his love of action figures and how much he would have appreciated me winning the giveaway way back in the day. So, I give you . . .

Kaskey Kids "Sports Guys & Girls."

Sadly, I do not see any "Water Polo Guys or Girls," but I'll let that pass.

Kaskey Kids will let the winner pick any set off their site--and if you don't win you can get a 10% discount using the promo code, "GoGuys."

Leave a comment telling me what your toy of choice was when you were a wee one and I'll pick a winner two weeks from today.

Me? I've already admitted to being a Barbie girl.You have to remember though-I was 8 years old before Title IX was passed, much less implemented. Soccer Girls were not even a choice! Thank goodness for changing times.

Two-For-One Today: A Flashback and a Giveaway

This is one of my all-time favorite photos. It's a picture of Danger Boy and his first friend (which really means the child of my friend). The two of them could not have been more opposite. DB walked at 8 months, his friend at 18 mos. DB rarely sat still for a moment, while his friend was content to contemplate her surroundings for hours on end. The one thing they had in common though was their love of books. Is there anything more adorable and heart-warming than a pudgy toddler hand clutching a well-worn board book? Not to me there isn't. And two toddlers with board books in pudgy hands? Be still my heart.

On to the giveaway part . . . Max Spaniel: Dinosaur Hunt. Now I can't comment firsthand on the book, because I haven't received my comment yet, but it is a book and there is a dog on the book cover so I'm pretty sure the young Danger Boy would give it his seal of approval.

Here's what's up for grabs:

One (1) Grand Prize winner receives:

• Autographed copy of Max Spaniel (by illustrator David Catrow)
• One (1) Jumbo kids magnifying glass

Four (4) runner-up winners will also receive a copy of the new book

That sounds pretty cool to me. Here is the blurb from the publisher:

Max is no ordinary dog. He is a great hunter! His prize of choice? Dinosaurs! But Max simply can’t hunt dinosaurs inside. For that, he must go on a true adventure to the unexplored wild of the backyard. As this zany canine prowls the yard, he encounters bicycles, toys, a rake, and a gardening hose. But to Max, the intrepid dinosaur hunter, these items are no mere playthings and grooming implements–they are dinosaur bones! Piece by piece, the bloodhound puts together a towering display of dinosaurian strength that he is sure will strike fear into the hearts of any trespassers!

From David Catrow, beloved illustrator of the energetic Doggone Dogs and I Ain’t Gonna Paint No More, comes an equally entertaining picture book for young adventurers! Catrow’s text is simple and sparing, allowing his fantastic illustrations to shine brilliantly. The sketch and watercolor artwork is colorful and alive with movement and silliness.

This is the perfect fast-paced read for children who are ready to get up and go! Catrow’s design makes this book fantastic both for a read-aloud storytime and for beginning readers who aren’t quite ready for chapter books.

This contest will be up for a month--to enter just leave a comment. To make it fun, let me know what your favorite book to read-aloud is. Not that's that a question I could answer--too many choices--though I will admit to great memories of reading the Henry and Mudge books to Danger Boy before he could read them to himself.

 

Good luck!

Flashback Friday: When We Were Young (And Last Week's Winner)

Monday night provided a rare opportunity to reunite our crew from back in the day(s)--the days of the early 80's to be exact. My best friend from high school and beyond and the maid of honor at my wedding I see a couple of times a year--she and her family live 1/2 hour away. My husband's best man and his family live in Gig Harbor, Washington and they were down our way for a family vacation. We all met for dinner, 3 couples with 7 children (Social Butterfly and Danger Boy were at camp) at our friends' avocado ranch.

Background on this group is interesting. Mr. Fix-it, MOH and BM and I were good friends in high school. MOH and BM dated in high school and beyond. BM ended up with a roommate, Paul, who had a girlfriend (GF). MOH and GF became roommates. Eventually, MOH and BM broke up. MOH started dating another guy (AG). GF and Paul broke up. BM and GF started dating. The end result? 1987--Mr. Fix-it and I marry. 1988--BM and GF marry. 1989--MOH and AG marry. Everyone stays friends and everyone has kids.

We were sitting at dinner, drinking wine and reminiscing. MVP and BM and GF's daughter, a junior at U-Dub, were listening and pretending to be were very interested. We were talking about a certain picture that it is the basement of the Gig Harbor house--a picture of the crowd back in the day. GF was trying to describe the setting, etc. to her daughter.

I broke in, "Just look for a picture that has a girl that looks just like you in it and a boy that looks just like MVP in it--that's the one." And it's true--our young adults look so much more like us at that age than we look like us at that age that it is a) endearing and b) freaky and c) breakdown inducing--we used to look like these beautiful, handsome, dewy-faced youths and we no longer do!

We can no longer pretend to be young--not when our children are as old as we were when we became adults. Sigh.

In Other News . . .

Congratulations to Val from The Rambling Reader--that teeny-tiny number on the screen shot says 16--which is the number her comment was. I promise to get The Wave Board in the mail before I leave for vacation next Sunday (have I ever shared with you that shipping things is one of my fatal character flaws?). I have it on good authority that her daughter will love it.

A new comment from “Val” was received on the post “Free Stuff Friday: The Wave Board (and Last Week's Winner)” of the blog “Juggling Life”.

Comment:

My daughter would love that! Too cool :)

You know the drill, Val--send me your snail mail info!